2007-10-31 03:19:22 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he needs to read the temporary custody order. It should include visitation. If they're not even divorced yet it is probably too soon for you to meet the son so you shouldn't be around during the visits anyway, but he still has rights to the visits if it says so in the custody agreement.
2007-10-31 03:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some divorces are long and drag out my now husband and his ex wife took over 3 years to get settled over court dates postponed and her having a baby by another man. Some that have never went through a divorce may not understand that. Also my daughter has been going through a divorce going on 2 years now and these things often take awhile going through the court system. Your boyfriend should have rights to his children and this should have nothing to do with you being there. Life goes on and if the father and you are good people with only the best intent to care for the kids ...I don't understand why the wife would have a problem with that unless she is using the kids as a power play against the soon to be ex husband? If the father has always been good to his children then the mother should be able to trust his judgement knowing that he would never let any harm come to them. There is no reason that her soon to be ex husband should be against him having friends and if she would be more comfortable about your presence around them invite her to meet you for her own self assurance. If she is not willing to do that then she is letting her issues interfere with the children relating to the Dad. Many people start getting on with their lives before a divorce because often it does take years to get there. When a relationship is over it is over the day two people walk away from each other and file for that divorce. If his ex to be is having difficulty moving on in life maybe your boyfriend could suggest some family counseling so that her issues do not affect the lives of her children.
2007-10-31 03:50:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing you need to know is, when people are separated, they have absolutely nothing to give to someone else emotionally -- you are the rebound chick... and it's not a fun position to be in.
As for the wife? Well, this is common behavior because of bitterness over the life situation...
Laws? There is no law on this unless there is an Order of Visition drawn up by the courts.. if there is, then the wife is in contempt of court for disallowing visitation.
Find a man who has something to give. Right now, this guy is in a state of emotional turmoil, and is seeking out someone, anyone so he can prove he's loveable again.
You're in a bad position.
2007-10-31 03:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is a court order and the dates are specific, he can have a police escort to pick up the child. if it is not specific, he should make a report to the family court for violation of a court order.
my advice to you is this... there is obviously some pain happening here on the part of the wife ( not yet X ) and she obviously doesn't like that you are around... the question you should ask yourself is this.... is how i feel about my boyfriend more important than the relationship he needs to have with his child... there is a time and place for everything... as hard as it is to swallow... she needs ( the wife ) time to adjust to the break up and needs to know that her son and husband are not playing family behind her back... i know it doesn't sound fair, but the truth is, they started this together and together they have to get to the end of it... not just to separation but all the way to the divorce and usually longer. if you are gonna be in this relationship, and be a positive influence, you can not also be the one that keeps dad for son... even if she is being unreasonable... don't be that person!! you don't have to break up... just take a step back and let this divorce run it's course... if you are worried he will find someone else... better now than later...
2007-10-31 03:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it me or are way to many people on here judgemental? For starters how without any information can anybody suggest it's to soon for a relationship - maybe the husband and wife have been separated 15 years - too soon?
Should try and answer the questions, and just for the record adultery is not a reason to refuse access to children.
2007-11-01 06:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by elsputnik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f does not have the right to see his son........ the courts do not see it like that, they would say that the child has a right to see his father(as long as he is a responsible parent and doesn't mess with the child's emotions ).He needs to sit down and have a chat with his wife and try to sort this out without a court hearing, coz once they happen even the most reasonable separation becomes a battle.At the end of the day the childs welfare MUST come first!
2007-10-31 05:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by bevalou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is STILL married. Sounds like there are some unresolved feelings between the two of them and you're only hearing 1 side.
This is a matter for you to stay out of because you have no legal right. That is an issue for the parents to work out in the best interest of the child.
There is a lot left unsaid in this question...how long you've been seeing this man, if the wife is uncomfortable with you for a reason, etc, etc.
2007-10-31 03:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by That Deal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is set custody and he has visitation though a judge then it's illegal. If there is no visitation there is nothing he can do, except go to a judge, which i would recommend. good luck, that's a nasty situation.
oh yeah, if she is saying that he can't see his sone cause you are around, be a good girlfriend and dissapear for a couple of days, don't be the wedge between him and his son.
also think about the reasons she is doing this. Did he leave his wife for you? was he with you while he was still married to her? I'm not saying your that kind of person, I'm just saying i'd probably do the same thing if i were in that position.
2007-10-31 03:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he need sto talk with a lawyer and get visitations rights. That way if she denies excess to the kids to him she could go to jail and also if she keeps doing it can losse her kids to him. So tell him he needs to get a lawyer and do it the legal way it will be a lot of help in the long run. ANd what is better for him and not have that many problems with her is to go ahead and get a divorce. This way there won't be all these problems with her. Because this is nothing give it more time and it will get worse. So he need to cut the cord with her and get visitations rights from the court and put it in the papers served that if she denies him excess to his children he will filel for full costudy. And if she has been dening him visition she might lose her kids. SO do it right and it better int he long run.
2007-10-31 03:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since there is no divorce in place he is technically cheating on her with you. He is her husband. He is seeing you. That puts you in the home wrecker category in some peoples eyes. They will believe you are the other woman, and he is leaving her for you. Notice I said some people. It puts him in the adulterous leach column for others. I wouldn't put my son in the middle of that situation either. The son should know nothing about you.
There is no custodial order so there is no law at this point. She can pretty much do what she wants. That doesn't make it right, but that's the way it is until he brings the courts into it. If he wants visitation rights then he needs to proceed with the divorce or reconcile with her.
It doubtful her problems with you will end with the divorce. They will probably get worse. So be prepared for years of problems with her. I'm sorry your in the middle of this, but you chose to see a married man. Obviously, she using you to get back at him. Sad. How can you know they wouldn't reconcile but for your presence? You have a lot to think about.
2007-10-31 03:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are an unsafe person for her kid to be around, then the law is probably on her side. It doesn't stop your boyfriend making arrangements to see him independently of you, though.
For her to stop him seeing him because of you is wrong. However, if she has a problem with you because you were/are "the other woman" who broke up the relationship, it is understandable that she would have problems with you and him as a result. Still unfair on the kid, who needs to have contact with his dad.
Shame the kid is stuck in the middle of a horrible marital breakdown.
Your boyfriend needs to try mediation so that he can have access to his son and he'll need to go to court for that.
2007-10-31 03:56:56 · answer #11 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋