I am going through a divorce and at the moment there is no one in my life that I am intimate with...I feel that I dont want to be physically intimate with any man. I want to know if there are women out there that have experienced not wanting to have any kind of sex, anyone out there that feels that sex is not an option for you. Someone out there that feels that they are through with men and sex. Please am I alone in this? Is there something wrong with me? I know I like men but when it comes to having a physical relationship with them, I shut them out and I do not want any intimacy.
2007-10-31 02:49:35 · 11 answers · asked by ImWaiting 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best thing that you can do right now is get yourself together! Going through a divorce is extremely tough. To try to date only adds to your frustrations & this isn't fair to any person trying to get to know you. If I could redo the last 3 yrs since my divorce, I would have taken that first year to really get to know me & learn to like me first! I was fortunate that I have come to this now, but it took too many heartbreaking steps along the way to figure it out! Look at it this way... If a guy came into your life with hang-ups & baggage - you'd tell him to get lost! Same thing for you just vice versa!!! Enjoy yourself. Learn to be OK being alone without being lonely! When you are ready, you will step out there & have more guys to pick from then you probably can handle!!!
2007-10-31 02:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt that way before too. Like a brick wall standing there, not letting anyting like that come to me. After being hurt and all, your body care less for sex right now.
But you will get over it soon, just one of those things that happens and goes on. Take some time to yourself, and start doing what you like. Gather what life you got left, and make it worth your wild.
Then when you had met a man, and want to know him more better. Don't throw nothing sex wise into it. Till you are ready yourself. If he keeps pushing about it, let him know where you stand at. It might be a while, before you ever see romance under the sheets.
Take some time to get to know you again. You come first before any sex or men yet.
2007-10-31 03:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon... if you are going through a divorce, now is not the time to enter into another relationship.
Now is the time to grieve your losses, and readjust to living your life. Sometimes this takes a year or two.
It isn't healthy to jump from one relationship to the next. Taking time for YOU is what is important right now, and that's what you're doing.
Maybe someday you will be interested in dating again, but until then, do what makes YOU happy -- keep yourself occupied, join a gym, do things with friends and family and maybe find a hobby for your spare time...
Having sex at random isn't really a good idea... take your time, and maybe things will change?
I feel FINISHED with men, relationships and sex myself right now. I have no clue if that will ever change, but i can tell you one thing -- i am content with ME and my life right now.. I have made it full and i'm happy. That is what matters.
take care of YOU first. hugs
2007-10-31 02:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that!
There is nothing wrong with you. It's just human instinct to build a better fortress to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
If the divorce is/was dramatic it might "haunt" you for a while but time is the best healing. Eventually, you will be able to build some windows in that fortress and look out or let others look in ... With more time you can carve out a door.
Just take time for yourself right now and a better man will come along. Do some life-after-divorce planning, take vacation, rekindle with friends, ...
2007-10-31 07:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by kwyenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still going through the divorce process. Give yourself a year and see how you feel. If at that point, you still feel no need for intimacy then I'd seek counseling, but to expect it from yourself right now, isn't reasonable. Stop pressuring yourself.
2007-10-31 02:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there's nothing wrong with you. You're in the midst of a divorce and ending a big chapter in your life. It's not normal to be in a constant state of sexual arousal. You have bigger fish to fry, and when you're mentally recovered from this divorce, you'll be able to think about returning to a more typical relationship with someone new.
2007-10-31 02:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when I went thru my divorce, and even well after, I wanted nothing to do with me. No sex, no dates, I wouldn't even look at them. I needed me time--to figure out who I was, what I wanted and even to grieve the loss of my marriage.
You are perfectly normal, and sounds like you're very level headed as well. Good luck.
2007-10-31 03:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are a young lady. Because young ladies would not feel like you. I don't think your feeling and thinking this way is healthy at all. You need to get some kind of help for your problem.
2007-10-31 02:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait till the ink is dry on the divorce papers to even think about that...You need time for you and not to worry about someone else...Your normal dont worry...
2007-10-31 02:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE BUILT UP A WALL.. AND THAT IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDING. I KNOW THAT IF MY HUSBAND AND I EVER GOT DIVORCED, I DON'T THINK I WOULD DATE OR ANYTHING EITHER.. BUT GIVE IT SOME TIME, IT COULD CHANGE.. GOOD LUCK TO YOU..
2007-10-31 02:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋