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ok, yesterday at school i found out a guy who i was fairly good friends with died. he was only 16 and he had heart problems and before school his parents found him dead. at first i was REALLY shocked and i didn't believe it, but then i was sad. When i went home i was crying a lot.. but then i kinda went numb.. like seriously numb -- my body was tingling. then i was laughing at werid stuff and i just couldn't concentrate on anything.. idk.. is this normal? and is there any ways i can get over all of this quicker. i have dealt with close ones dying before but this is different cuz he's my age. plus, me and him used to be good friends but this year we didn't talk as much so now i feel even worse and guilty.. plz help me!!!!!

2007-10-31 02:44:43 · 10 answers · asked by jade<33 2 in Family & Relationships Friends

10 answers

Everyone deals with death in different ways and in their own time. I think like this death being so close to home because he is your age really makes you think that kids your age are not untouchable. This is normal to grieve in this way and his may take a little longer since he is your age. Just pray to God for helping you deal with the pain and sorry for your loss of a friend.

2007-10-31 02:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer P 2 · 0 0

I know it's hard to lose a friend, & yeah it's normal to kinda go numb, i've had experiences with that. I think it's just ur body's way of dealing with the stress of the situation. If its really on ur mind a lot, try doing something that requires thought in a single area such as going to the gym, playing a sport, or ..SHOPPING! lol. dont feel guilty that u didnt talk so much this year, things change and people go their own separate ways.

2007-10-31 09:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by cutiee 2 · 0 0

All of that is perfectly normal. This death just seemed to hit you harder than you ever expected. The numbness, almost out of reality feeling is on the severe side, but not unusual. Sometimes it helps to do something: ask your parents to go with you to pick out some flowers, organize a memorial at school, go see his parents and ask if there's any way you can help them. There's all kinds of things you can do that can help you work through the grief process, but be sure to take some time to grieve as well.

2007-10-31 09:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by Kay3535 4 · 0 0

Hi hon... you don't have to feel guilty because you and this guy didn't talk as much this year -- it's just the way it worked out, and we aren't close with everyone. I'm sorry he's gone, and i am sure you and other friends will miss him.

Normally, teens don't have to deal with the death of their peers, but it does happen.

I have listed a website source below, which is Teen Hope. there is a lot of good information on this site, and it looks helpful.

take care of You.

2007-10-31 09:48:53 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0 0

I am so sorry for your lose, and God is going to help you get through this. Be strong and realize that you had no control over when he was going to take his last breath....only God! We all go through those times of guilt when someone dies feeling as if we played a part somehow. You all grew apart....that's all, it's not a bad thing. People grow apart all the time, just so long as you know within yourself that there was nothing you said or did to ruin the friendship then it's all good sweetheart. Stay strong not only for yourself but for his family as well. It's going to be ALRIGHT!!

2007-10-31 09:54:09 · answer #5 · answered by wet 3 · 0 0

this really going to take a while before u can get over the situation, u cant just rush something like this away so soon and besides he was your age and plus one of ur closes friends u just need to take some time off by urself so that u can ease ur mind.

Sorry about the lost one

2007-10-31 09:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of 3 boyz 3 · 0 0

i'm so sorry with your loss. i hope he rests in peace. i guess it is normal to suddenly feel the way you described. your emotions are mixed and of course as girls at your age, it is very hard to control such hard emotions. especially if youve felt you didnt talk with him the way you used to. sometimes these kind of things are signs. we just dont notice them. my advice is whether you are religous or not, pray for him. ask the Lord to bless him and tr to distract yourself from continuously thinking about his death or your feeling of guilt. try to remember him the way you liked him. talkative or free spirited or anyway he was. ive never met him but im sure he was a great guy.you could try and do some sort of memorial ceremony at your school and ask everyone who had known him to express their thoughts on him when he was still alive. i know its hard to accept death at that age even when the deceased is not a family member. it will be tremendously hard at first but sooner or later you will finally accept the fact and maybe move on. but moving on doesnt mean letting go. keep him alive in your heart and cherish the things he loved to do. if it gets really hard for you, always find someone to talk to. never suffer in silence..

good luck and god bless..

2007-10-31 09:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by anonymously-unknown 3 · 0 0

It is normal to have different reactions at the same time.
And to tell you the truth time will cure your emotions.
I know that you are the same age but that does not mean that will happen to you . You might live for a long long long time.

2007-10-31 09:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, its stress, its ok to relive it in any way you wish. As long as you don't hurt anyone else. If you need to, seek counseling. That always works.

2007-10-31 09:48:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

theres no way of dealing with this any other than you are doing.....xxxxxxxxx dont feel bad at what you did not do..... be happy at what you did...........


you know where I am if you wanna chat ....xxx

2007-10-31 11:26:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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