Me and my husband have been married for 13 yrs we have 3 children. It has been a good marriage except for 1 seperation. I have always been th one who has took care of the bills, household, and the children. but 4 months ago he moved to a town 2 hrs away because of his job me and the kids still live in the old town because of them already being in school and my job. well we got a little behind on our bills because of the job change and a couple of poor checks and just last month he took his check out of direct deposit from our joint account and open one in his name with his mother and is paying the bills from it and if I need something for the house or kids I have to ask her. I asked for halloween costumes for the kids and she said can't you find something for them to wear? I feel that I am the outsider in their marriage and i'm at the end of my rope. I want to save my marriage because I love my husband but i know i can't live like this. It's like im a child again. please help.
2007-10-31 02:25:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First get back to living together in the same house and then talk to your husband about the money. Tell him you want to have a joint account without his mother on it and you will not stay any other way. It is not appropriate for you to have to ask his mother for anything. He and his mother are showing you disrespect.
Good Luck
2007-10-31 02:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I feel you completely. You should not have to ask your mil for money. You two are married and it should be a joint account between the both of you. Living that way is not good for him and you. I suggest you move with him even though it means taking the kids out of school and changing them. Kids will adjust easily trust me. Do whatever it takes to save your marriage because you don't want your inlaw to run things. That is where I cross the line. I have issues with mine and let me tell ya she takes no part nor say in my marriage nor my life. Talk to your husband about this whole arrangement and thinka bout moving over there. Take it from me never leave your husband alone that long its not good or a marriage. If you want to talk just send me a im or email im always here to listen:) I hope that helps hun..big hugs toyou.
2007-10-31 02:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an odd situation, and there has to be some reason your husband would give his mother control over his bank account and does not trust you. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, but perhaps there is something more to HIS story?
You and your husband need to have a discussion, and then, you need to decide what is best for you and the kids.
take care...
2007-10-31 02:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be living together. You didn't have this issue before and I doubt you will have it after you get back in the same house.
You need to tell him that you will NOT be asking your MIL for anything because 1) you are not married to her, 2) it is not her house, 3) they are not her kids, and 4) she is not suppose to be handling the family money because she is not part of YOUR family (ie you, husband, and kids).
2007-10-31 02:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WTF? Why is she involved in your finances? If he wanted to open another account, then fine, why is his mother involved? I would be driving down there to straighten things out. It is hard enough your husband is staying in another place due to work, you do not need the added stress of his mother delegating to you what you can and cannot do. Tell him if he wants to be single again and live with his mother you can arrange that rather then put you through this drama. If he has an issue with your spending then you and him need to go over bills and finances together not with his mother.
2007-10-31 02:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has already divorced you! It's okay for the kids to change schools they will adjust-It is very very wrong for the mother to be involved with your finances-you need to talk to him about this situation-but be prepared your marriage may already be over
2007-10-31 02:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by suan b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh oh.
You should live in the same house. Find a way to make this happen. Unless you are in the 1% group that make this work, you should live in the same house.
THIS is your problem. Not his mother.
2007-10-31 02:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him he better knock it off and send you money or you can arrange it to where he will be crying to his mother how you socked him with child support and has your divorce attorney after him.
2007-10-31 02:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to LEAVE the momma boy with his momma and tell her to GET A LIFE
2007-10-31 02:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have mom put to sleep
2007-10-31 03:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by mybluechicken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋