Why is my GF acting this way toward me? Is it just PMS?

Question

My GF suffers bad PMS. I am a supportive & understanding guy and I cut her a lot of slack at that time every month. This month things were really bad. She has been irritated, rude, blunt, & unaffectionate over a 48hr period but I still continued to reach out and be understanding. In bed last night, she asked me if I was ok. I told her that the ear infection I had was bothering me and that there was also something else. I said, "I love you with all my heart and I really understand that your PMS has been difficult for you this month but as much as I have tried to be understanding, the way you have been talking to me has affected me and is making me feel a little deflated. Things will be fine, but I just needed to vent how I am feeling to you". She took this to heart and was really cold and unloving toward me. She layed there giving me no affection even though I opened my heart to her and had a horrible ear ache. This kind of thing is hard to deal with. What did I do wrong?

Answer 1

You didn't do anything wrong. I suffer from bad PMS as well as bouts of depression and anxiety. It's really hard and I do get quite irritable and unaffectionate sometimes, but because I love my partner, I try my very best to keep these things under control and at the very least apologize for some of the behaviors that I can't control and attempt to do better in the future. Emotional problems can change one's thoughts and views of the world, like some sort of monster that rises up inside you and even though you know it's not right, you've got little control over it. Your girlfriend seems quite selfish and/or unable to deal with her issues. You should suggest that she get professional help, and there is help available for PMS/PMDD ranging from lifestyle changes to medications including antidepressants and hormonal birth control. She should speak with her doctor. You need to decide how well you can deal with her problems and whether or not you will continue to live with her. Just because she has emotional problems doesn't mean she has an excuse to behave poorly to the people she supposedly cares about. She needs help.

Answer 2

The first thing you're doing wrong is "Shackin up" and sleeping with a girl that you're not married to that's one. Second, why in the world would you address something like this with her while she is still PMS-ing? That was your mistake buddy....you know that during this time women's emotions and hormones are all out-of-whack. It kinda makes you sound like a whimp by venting to her about that. What you should have done was set her behind straight and let her know in no uncertain terms that you understand this a trying time for her, but there is no reason for her to be so ridiculously rude. I think she would respect you more for coming straight at her than sounding like you're feeling sorry for yourself. Try that next month and see where that gets you. Hope it helps!! By the way, a lot of women do use PMS as an excuse to be thier TRUE selves. Just thought I'd warn you, that may be the person she truly is, nasty, rude, abrasive, cold-hearted, and unbearable! Watch yourself!

Answer 3

You didn't do anything wrong. I don't know about all the extreme PMS stuff. Kinda sounds like she just uses that as an excuse to be rude and mean.

Besides even if she does have bad PMS, it doesn't give her the right to be mean to you. I serioulsy doubt that no matter how bad she was feeling she'd be that rude to her boss. She can control her actions whether or not she's PMSing.

Since you have told her how you feel when she treats you that way, see if she'll change the next time she is pmsing. If she doesn't, I'd find a different gf. Who wants to put up with that crap for a lifetime? I wouldn't. Too much drama.

Answer 4

okay this is my specialty..i am 44 yrs young and i have had 3 kids.2 of whom are teenage girls, so we are experienced in this field of life. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Sometimes the hormones that trigger the pms are a little overwelming and we do snap and get bitchy. I just met a man 3 wks ago and I did the same thing to him last Sunday..There is nothin you can do except continue to be understanding and try to avoid conflict during that time. Is she regular?Hopefully she is and that way you will know when to be on the lookout for the signs.I feel it is the womans responsibility to get some medicine to help relieve the symptoms...I take Midol, some women have it so bad they have to see a dr for a something stronger..Good luck and like I said YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

Answer 5

Kinda makes you stop and wonder whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, doesn't it? PMS is real, however, more often than not, it's just used as an "all access pass" to act out. It can be difficult to control your mood swings (which are very real), but it can be, and SHOULD be done. If you love someone, you want to shield them from as much hurt as possible, not inflict more hurt. A woman who would use that excuse sounds a little immature to me. PMS can be controlled, trust me. I do it every month myself and it is a conscious decision I make. She just needs to be willing to work at it. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

I hate to say this but if your ex told you that you're too jealous and clingy then he must know what he's saying.
Read here https://tr.im/sJqAp

Anyone that goes out clubbing just to see what their ex is doing or drive by his place at 7:00 a.m. to see who's there tell me that you need to work on something. I don't think that you are only jealous but also possessive. And if you don't change that then you will never get your ex back. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to mean to you. I only want you to see what you are doing is so wrong. You have to admit that you are jealous and clingy. If you can't admit that then you'll never be able to fix the problem.

I understand that you don't like it if he dances and flirts in front of you. But guys are guys. And many guys don't see anything wrong with this. I know you feel hurt if he does that in front of your face. And it is disrespectful. But there are ways you can talk to your boyfriend if he's flirting while he's with you. You only have to tell him that it hurts you and that it's disrespectful and then ask him to stop doing it when he’s with you.

I don't know if getting back with your ex is going to last because now you have two problems. You were having problems with him because of his flirting and now you will have another problem because of this girl that he's going out with. It is eating you alive that he's involved with this girl and you know he's probably sleeping with her. How are you going to handle that if you get back together? Because of your jealousy and your insecurities are you going to be able to forget that he was ever involved with this girl? You really need to work on this and make sure if you try to get him back that you never again mention about his flirting or this girl. You can mention one more time how his flirting affects you but it has to stop there.

You asked how do you compete with the girl he's involved with. I looked at the picture and I can tell that your ex knows how to go for beautiful girls. So that give me a clear picture about how you look. I have a feeling that you are also very beautiful but for some reason I don't think you see yourself that way. The only thing I can tell you is that your boyfriend did not leave you because he didn't love you. He left you because of your jealousy and because you were clinging to him. If you love his as much as you say you do then fight for him and get him back. And if you do get him back then make sure that you can promise him that you will no longer be jealous, clingy or insecure about your relationship with him. If you can't promise him that then you may as well forget about him because it won't work if you don't change,

Answer 7

you didnt do anything wrong
PMS is the pitts it really is and despite the horrific personality changes, we really dont know we're doing it, everything is all over the place and it makes you feel crap, dealing with it, and getting treatment/help is very difficult. Telling her has obviously given her food for thought, she now has to deal with the PMS, and what she sees as critisism too, but the fact she didnt kick off is good, loads of things help PMS but finding what suits you is hard, help her, vitamin B6 is a great place to start, hearing from a loved one "you are a nightmare" is a lot to handle, but it sounds despite being cool with you that she is taking on board with what you are saying, PLEASE bare in mind, this is a very disruptive medical condition, think its bad from your point of view, you wanna try it from her side, lol! seriously though, you can help her overcome this, good luck, you sound like a nice guy, she is lucky and will realize that

Answer 8

Maybe your girlfriend is suffering PMDD, and she might need to talk to a doctor about this? I know that we tend to feel grumpy with PMS sometimes, but for some, it goes deeper and causes true, emotional problems, and distorted thinking.

You can do a Yahoo search on PMDD for more information. It's a real condition but there is treatment.

Take care.

Answer 9

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/Jotgr

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 10

you did nothing wrong-go to the drug store and buy her some PMS medicine-I get bad PMS and therefore try to keep the medicine on hand-sounds like she should too-also extra calcium will help but she has to have that consistently not just at that time-if that doesn't work it's something more and she will need to see a doctor-also you need to go to the doctor if you have an earache because that isn't helping either of you