i'm married for almost 4 years but i was never happy in my marriage most of the time. my husband is verbally abusive, calling me names, and always yells all the time. i came to a point wherein i just ignore him because i hate to argue. i told him that we need marriage counseling but he told me that im the one who's got a problem. he doesn't like my kids either and didn't bother to speak to my mother when she came over for a visit. i need help what should i do?
2007-10-31 00:33:54 · 18 answers · asked by azbabe37 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get out, the verbal abuse can be as desrtuctive as physical abuse. I have dealt with both issues. why stay in a relationship that you are not happy in?Why put your kids in that situation any longer, it may be hard, but find some family to stay with or friends and pull yourself up and move on girl...YOU DESERVE A GOOD AND HAPPY LIFE.
2007-10-31 02:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by kittykitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Never happy" "Most of the time", one has to ask why did you marry him and why did you have children with him? Or if they aren't his children, why you were stupid enough to put them in this risky situation.
You ignore him because you hate to argue? He therefore doesn't know if he is doing anything wrong. Communication in a relationship is owned by two people.
You do need help, you need personal help, to build up your confidence so that you can solve this problem yourself. Any other advice will be wasted because you are too weak willed to put it into action. You told him you need marrage counselling and he said "No"? Did you make it clear to him what the consequences of not having counselling will be, or did you just hide in the corner and shut up?
I am sorry if I sound unsympathetic but a bad relationship beats down your confidence and you start to feel it's all you deserve - it is up to YOU, not us, to break that mould so that you have the willpower and strength to sort it out.
2007-10-31 07:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by Paul M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can only put up with so much, for so long. If you are completely unhappy and tired of your life this way , then its time to get out. If you feel its to much trouble or is going to be even worse for u if you do leave him, then it must not be as terrible as it can possibly get. Financial means might be a reason for staying, but if this is the case u have to ask yourself how much/ how long can u endure of life like this.. Are your children suffering too? If so u must consider them and whats best for there well being.. When u finally hit rock bottom, you will know and do something about it.. You have to weigh the negatives and positives of leaving and staying, then make your decision accordingly.
2007-10-31 07:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by >< SHeDeViL >< 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to leave.
if you leave, you can test whether or not you made the right decision, here's how:
once you are gone, you keep in touch with him, though maybe dont tell him where you are, but maybe you give him your new number.
see how long it takes for him to contact you. if he contacts you without being abusive or disrespectful and genuinely tries to get you back, then consider it.
but if he is still being abusive, even 10% abusive, you know you have made the right decision.
he has an anger problem and who knows what other underlying issues.
the fact that he didnt speak to your mother shows the level of his disrespect for you.
he's not in love with you.
he's acting like a stereotypical jerk.
good luck.
2007-10-31 07:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by maAternal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't take steps to work out the problems, is verbally abusive to you, emotionally abusive to your children and generally disrespectful to everyone around him--leave.
There is no way to work out relationship issues if only one person is involved. Get out now while you still have a shred of self-confidence left.
2007-10-31 08:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that he does not like your kids, I assume that they are from your previous relationship.
If that is it, then you might have a problem, your present husband might be resenting the kids because they are reminding him of your previous relationship. And on top of that he resents the fact that he is raising them also with his finances. The mistake was his getting himself into this marriage, because the kids were part of the package. If he can't accept them you might be facing a divorce.
2007-10-31 08:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is the one who is not happy. Better decide if the marriage is worth saving. Sit down with him and ask him if he wants to call it quits. If so, give him a divorce and put the man out of his misery.
2007-10-31 07:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. If he is unwilling to seek help, and blames you for all of the problems, then divorce may very well be the answer to your problems. For you and your children. They shouldn't have to grow up with a parent (even if it is a step parent) that doesn't love them unconditionally.
2007-10-31 07:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he's not happy either. a man can become abusive , alcoholic and just plain mean in an unhappy marriage.this is the voice of experience speaking.
2007-10-31 08:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by Fran M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of a monster mistreats his kids distances himself whether kids are his biologically or not its not the question leave move on your kids come first then any man in this world
2007-10-31 07:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by apassportolove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋