if not, do you feel you should have talked about the "ONE THING" that made you mad, but you didn't discuss it. And, now the perverbial straws have pile up and almost to the point of breaking the camels back??
we always here " I don't why they left" or I didin't "see" it coming. But if we truly go back and think of the thing that bugged us that we "didn't" tlak about we could have avoided the 20-30 year unhappy marriga? your comments
2007-10-31 00:18:23 · 9 answers · asked by Fugitive Peices 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think it is one thing. Or if it is then the one thing is not speaking when we don't like something not just one thing that the other did. Yes one thing can build up but it is many things. that happen and the common denominator is not speaking about any of them or keeping the resentment. The other side is if the other person is unwilling not to do what makes the other angry. For example if I don't like something my husband does like I hate that he throws toothpicks on the floor. I tell him now, if he never stops or doesn't even try to stop then I become resentful and then the next thing he does that irritates me gets worse especially if he does not stop doing it too.
I guess what I am saying is it takes the one who feels upset to talk to the one making them upset and the one doing the upsetting to stop doing it. When people live together it is respect that should prevent us from irritating the other. Because if a person still does the irritating things then we could start to think they are selfish and only care about their own wants and needs. This will create an unhappy marriage. In return then the other person will do what they want regardless of how their spouse feels and then resentment builds on the other side. Now both are resentful and then the marriage becomes pained. Action is required on both parts to resolve differences before they become so bad.
2007-10-31 00:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am happily married, because we have discussed the issues that have come up instead of ignoring them and letting them build up to the point of explosion. I agree with you. It is soo sad to hear how all of these people feel miserable, but don't tell the one person that could help them make it better, their spouse. They will gripe and moan to anyone else within ear shot, but don't tell the other person who is also affected by it. I have also seen situations where the miserable spouse does open up and is essentially ignored by their spouse too. It's a two way street. People need to talk and listen more.
2007-10-31 07:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
:) * really smiling*...
I love those who change themselves for betterment and realize their faults.
To err is Human. and to realize it,
makes your life Heaven!!
Always keep your self open to your better half and if anything pinches u off then discuss it. and if the other person is not ready to understand and has taken the final decision of getting divorce, leave them alone for sometime, if they still think the same, then Their happiness is your happiness.
Even after getting married, I would suggest people to understand eachother first, develop a good communication skills between eachother. and Then start living life by putting in the trust.
Life is just like a cup of tea, it depends on you, how you make it.
2007-10-31 08:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am single. However, I think that communication, trust and respect are the keys to a happy marriage. Love is all about this. You should be honest with your couple, telling them what bugs you, but also what makes you love them. If there is not at least one thing about your significant other that you like for each thing you don’t like you are in trouble.
2007-10-31 12:47:37 · answer #4 · answered by chiquiz08 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always wise to open yourself up to your spouse. Let your feelings be known, have a committed and open minded relationship with each other. Hiding your feelings from your spouse will in time generates a cold relationship. Your spouse is the love of life and the best friend which you must be able to trust and confide in. Looking in the long term it should bare good fruit in your relationship.
2007-10-31 07:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am, rrettga. For 31 wonderful years!
I am not saying there we no downs to go with the ups because there were. But working through them made a strong, healthy marriage.
nfdâ¥
Lover of my Lord Jesus Christ
2007-10-31 12:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by fishineasy™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wasn't always unhappy, but when it's constantly one thing after the other ("proverbial straws") it tends to make one unhappy. for one to say that "i didn't see it coming" i think that's bullsh--...how do you not see the downfall? i guess i saw it coming from a mile away, my ex i don't think did which i don't understand b/c i never kept anything bottled up.
2007-10-31 08:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by starting over 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am happily married.
2007-10-31 07:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by wxyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i am happy in my marriage life.I will soon become papa
2007-10-31 07:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by ganeshkumble11 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋