My fiance is a full time community college teacher who is starting business as a psychologist and has spent any and all free time the last 2.5 years studying for his license which he passed. He has a daughter whom he dotes on every other week, buying her everything and taking her anywhere her heart desires, as well as lets her have a friend with her 24/7 except on most school nights. His ex-wife is very rude. He has a mother who is elderly and incapacitated, who he must help on a regular basis and a dog that is untrained and barks so much he can never leave him. He has a house that has been under repair the last 6 years and not finished, and has used his house for an atm so there is no equity. He has credit card debt and a brand new car with huge payments. He does not help me at my house at all, is basically too tired, and wants to be pampered. I have a big, new house, paid for everything, don't work, one son full time, (dad died), do I need this?
2007-10-29 20:03:01 · 13 answers · asked by LuckyEddie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I got engaged when he asked me to marry him at Christmas in front of my family and his. I felt really stuck and akward.
2007-10-29 20:17:13 · update #1
You people are so cool. I've been trying so hard to make him happy and he's moody and angry, too. He gets very stubborn and self-centered (as his kid does, too). Not a happy camper unless I'm bending over backwards.
2007-10-29 20:19:53 · update #2
Shadycal-
Thanks for more insight. I really do try to look past the obvious, but he's also really cranky and wants things his way. He loves VERY conditionally. I've tried fro 2.5 years to make this work, but he's always uhappy about something and he really has it knocked. He always wants MORE!
2007-10-29 21:17:33 · update #3
No you do not need this at all. It is a disaster waiting to happen. This man has nothing to offer you, but you have a lot to offer him. Be careful because he will soon have you in the same situation he is in. He may be a professional and well educated, but he is not someone who would make a good partner with all of his baggage. Sorry to be so blunt, but it seems you are heading to a place you do not want to be. My guess is he is very much the opposite of your departed husband. Maybe if you were to sit down and compare them you could see this man is not the person you want to be with. I can appreciate it may be difficult dealing with the loss of your husband and you may be looking for a new man but please don't replace a good husband with someone who will be no support or companion for you.
2007-10-29 20:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't see where you need this.
I'm surprised you went as far as accepting his proposal.
I do not know how old you are, but I think I am older than you. That being said, I would and am living alone rather than being with a dead beat man who doesn't know how to take care of me, because I have a lot to give, but if there's one thing I've learned in life is...I am special, I have a lot to give to the right man that will also give back.
I have wasted so much time on losers, I would rather be alone and lonely than be with a man who I have to pamper all the time, show him how to dress to go out and baby him like I'm his mother.
Those days are over for me...
Please don't get anymore caught up in him.
As far as him being the first guy to ask you to marry him since your husband died is it normal? yes. I think you're just jumping into the idea of marriage and flattered someone asked you.
You said you already have one child still living at home right? Do you want 2 more?
Him and his spoiled rotten daughter?
And please be careful, he knows exactly how bad his finances are. He can play dumb but not stupid and It sounds like he needs you more financially and as a mother than a wife? Be careful he will bring you down financially faster than you say "I do"...he will..
Good luck and get out NOW
2007-10-29 20:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see you picked all the wrong out of the guy, way to stick that too him, is there enough right out of him to make him someone you would want to marry?
I know women are very quick to judge a guys worth even if they know nothing about him. But besides working his *** of to pass a test, a daughter who he cares about and is involved in her life, a dog he loves even though he knows it's a pain, Wants to take care of his mom, how cold of a man would just leave his mom alone to die. And a home he used as a atm to help pay his bills. Biggest thing here is he seems to try to live beyond his means, but he must realize if he drove around a piece of junk car you would never even look his way. Since you already have money, and are ok in life, try judging his character, personality, and if he can love you the way you need.
2007-10-29 20:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not think so. He does not sound like he wants to be there for you. The untrained dog and the unfinished house after six years are big warning signs. So is that fact that he cannot live within his means. I would run the other way.
2007-10-29 20:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a sexual disease called necrophelia and particular bestiality (intercourse with animals) those are actual issues that folk have and oftentimes save hidden from kinfolk or are compelled to bypass get expert help simply by fact the acts are a criminal offense. He ought to get arrested and put in detention center if he have been given caught having intercourse with an animal or a actual corpse (which he ought to do if his obsession is physically powerful sufficient) you do no longer need to stay with this guy and your mom and dad love you so bypass to them and tell them what you're experiencing. i understand they does no longer desire you to stay your life this way! Be reliable and do what's stable for you and GET OUT NOW!! God bless you and supply you power!
2016-10-03 00:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO PLEASE i know im married to a man in the medical field.Im in the medical field myself.But hes living his life just the way this man is living it.He does things on his own like take holidays have car house to make payments has issues with family.He has baggage.Even though hes in medical field he thinks since im medical field too i have to pay my own way through life if there are kids he would take care of them not me.Please move on i got married now im wondering whether to have twins or let go of it.
2007-10-29 20:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is quite obvious you do not. listen to what your heart is saying, you are trying to settle for less than what you are expecting. do not put yourself through this unhappiness just because this is the only guy who's interested. dont rush into anything becuz marriage is a big step. i would wait a while before marrying him to see if you really want to do this . dont do like me. standing at the altar with doubts about getting married. (1st & 2nd marriage). get married only when there is no doubt, and that you want to marry this person more than anything in the world.
2007-10-29 20:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by darvosix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a dysfunctional migraine that you don't need! People can be considered either assets or liabilities... this guy is a serious liability! You don't need it and you shouldn't want it. He's not a victim of his circumstances - he created this chaotic world he lives in, and if you let him, he'll make your world chaotic, too.
2007-10-29 20:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by Laeticia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a real loser. I am sure you could do so much better. In fact, I think no relationship is better than one with this guy.
2007-10-29 20:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u dont
if he is helping u it wil be much easy but he had lot of troubles and he is not organise in his own life.
2007-10-29 20:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋