I had an affair for a year. I am in-love with my mistress. My wife does not believe in divorce and she wants to hang in there. She is not letting go..I can leave out of guilt & obligation; but I am in love with another. My wife says I ruined her life..what to do?
2007-10-29 18:53:07 · 33 answers · asked by R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Firstly change your avatar to a male, because it's really confusing.
Secondly make things work with you wife. You once loved her and you need to do every thing in your power to at least try and make it work.
Thirdly stop cheating on her.
2007-10-29 18:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
In-love?? You're in-fatuated!!! The guilt... the obligation you feel is: #1) in the flesh... you've built something with your spouse and your subconscious is trying to get your attention to work to salvage your marriage; #2) in the spirit... you are turning your back on the Creator and all the blessings and grace He has given you over the years and you KNOW it! Ask yourself: Have I really tried to reconcile whatever differences I have with my spouse? Does a 1 yr. affair equate to what I have invested in my current marriage? It is said for every 4 yrs. of marriage, you need to wait a year BEFORE even considering another relationship.... so.... you are going to be a self-centered idiot and repeat what you doing to your wife, to your mistress.
Even if you are in a marriage from Hades... it still doesn't change the present circumstances... if doesn't give you an excuse to unilaterally end a relationship that took two loving people to build.
Be a good person... dump the mistress... work on reconciliation.... if it works, you will have God's blessing...
if it doesn't... then you will be able to functon knowing that the best effort was made...
One more thing... irregardless of what will happen in the near future... try to learn to love yourself and your God...the benefits are immeasurable...
2007-10-29 19:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by asgodintended 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do your wife a favor and file for a divorce. I cannot imagine why she would want to hold onto a man that has betrayed her and would probably continue to do so. Get with the mistress, she deserves you. Give your wife the lion's share of the assets and don't whine about it. You and the mistress can live on love.
2007-10-29 19:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you have ruined her life, do you know that she can ruin your life and sue your mistress? you wont be happy once you get a divorce. Either you'll get bored and miss what you had or your little mistress will start cheating on you. How could you trust her? she doesn't really care for you or she wouldn't allow you to remain married and still sleep with her. she's using you, it's not love it's lust which will fade out once it becomes a relationship.
2007-10-29 18:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by TM25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really love another, get a divorce and move on. Your wife will be devastated of course but staying in a relationship where you cannot give her the love she deserves is no better.
She will hurt, but hopefully she'll eventually find someone she can love again and who will love her back. And you can be with the one you love. Just be sure this is what you want.
2007-10-30 01:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by cherie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mistress, right. He is not really in love with you. You are an escape from "real life". His life is with his wife. Maybe things are rough with them (finances or other issues), and he is seeing you so that he doesn't have to deal with it. But he loves his wife and will stay with her. Leave him, his wife and his family alone.
2007-10-29 21:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur an ***!
Move on and go to the stupid mistress - u will do ur wife a favour because she obviously deserves so much better than a piece ov shyt like u!
2007-10-29 20:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is probably right. You did ruin her life. She built her life around you and you built yours around another.When people marry they think that it is for life. You can get a divorce even if she does not believe in it. I would to just that. You both will be better of and more happy in the long run. Don't make the same mistake twice. Be faithful to the next one.
2007-10-29 19:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When someonw doesn't believe in divorce when evidence of cheating is apparent, she does not value herself at all. That alone is grounds for divorce. Get some self respect woman..let the man go..he obviously loves another....But, ultimately, man, can you afford to divorce the wife..that's always the deciding factor when it comes to wife or mistress...How much is your new love worth it to you..
Only you can decide..
current mistress
2007-10-29 19:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by preyta rouse 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You did ruin her life, she will no longer have faith in any man. You need to break from your wife( I have a feeling you are never going to be faithful to her) so she can mourn the loss of her husband and best friend and move on with her life so she can find a man that will treat her right. And remember, what goes around comes around.
2007-10-29 19:07:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave her life, so she can get someone more deserving of her. You should know... the same way you cheated on your wife to be with this woman, the same way she will get tired of you and find someone else. I hope you are happy at ruining your wife's life and I pray that she take even the shirt off your back.
2007-10-29 19:00:59 · answer #11 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋