I mean, why they let pass 20, 25+ years? Couldn't realize before something was wrong? Just stayed together for the sake of the children?
(PD.: If you're a grown, life-hardened person and want to mock my "naive" question, well feel free, but you can trash people classily, did you know that?)
2007-10-29 18:04:57 · 16 answers · asked by 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Some people are in love for 20 years and then one day wake up and realise that something about their lives has changed, something isn't right. Sometimes that something is the other person. People grow apart over time. It doesn't mean that they love each other less, but it means that they had a great relationship and rather than string it out over another 20 odd years, rather end it well and find someone else that will make you just as happy.
2007-10-29 18:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by laislinns 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Could be they married young and after 30 years they may still be just starting their 50's and feel they are still young enough to start over. They may feel they missed out on something and with the kids gone they want to see what it was and with less responsibilities this time round. They do not understand that they can't leave the past as there is just too much of it with that person they want to get away from. They would do better to loosen the ties that bind and not sever those ties. The time will come ( and all to soon) when all that history with the other mate becomes a great comfort rather than an unwanted part of their life. EDIT: abuse is a different thing all together. But that situation shouldn't be allowed to go on that long either.
2016-05-26 01:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In fact many people do seem to stay together until their children are a certain age, and then split up.
I also think it is sad to see life partners separate after 20 or 30 years, but saddest of all is that they were probably unhappily together for much of that time.
Better to make a break and have the chance of finding someone else, or of living the life you want, than just hang around making each other miserable.
Cheers :-)
2007-10-29 19:52:04 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think it has to do with a personal growth of both of them. Sometimes they grow in opposite directions and eventually become strangers. The thing is that staying together for the children, finances or any other convenient reasons does not work: when marriage is dead, they need to move on in their lives to save their sanity. That realization takes time ( years for some people), but eventually they do the right thing and let each other go.
2007-10-30 19:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 21 years old, after more than 25 years of marriage. I believe that they were happy for a long time, and continued to have moments of happiness even as they started becoming more and more unhappy. I believe they sincerely wanted the marriage to succeed...they went to counseling and tried to work things out. I do think there was a part of them that wanted to stay together for my brother and I, which is why the divorce didn't come until we were both out of the house. Or maybe with us gone they realized how different they had become.
Even though the divorce was hard (and continues to be hard sometimes) they really are happier now, and that makes me happy too. They are both remarried to very nice people who we are learning to love very much.
2007-10-29 18:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by Amy B 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The most common reason I've heard is that the couple has nothing in common anymore. I have a relative who divorced his wife after 26 years of marriage. I think in his case, he just got bored with her and was itching to find someone new. He did get married at the age of 19 and probably feels like he missed out on life because he married so young.
2007-10-29 18:29:48 · answer #6 · answered by RoVale 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Such relationship is like cooking a certain food or dish. The partners needs to balance things out so that the process will not produce burnt food. It may have come to the point that the balance is broken by conflict(s) which eventually makes the relationship destroyed and its really hard to fix something that has been broken. :(
2007-10-29 22:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by dejavu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect that such couples have been unhappy for a long time (or one partner has been unhappy anyway), but stuck together out of habit, and it took some catalyst...the last child heading off to college, an attraction to someone to else, a midlife crisis on someone's part...to make them realize that the marriage is making them unhappy. People can cruise on "neutral" in a relationship for a long time and not even realize it.
2007-10-29 19:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 21 years...unhappy for 10 ....I guess after putting so many years into a marriage its hard to walk away without trying to make it right....and when you have children to think about. you keep trying so you don't mess up their world.......my kids in the end said, Mum you've done everything you can, and that was all I needed....best thing I ever did for all of us. You do it when the time feels right for you.
2007-10-29 18:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by maggie 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Interesting question.
Couples stay together for many reasons.
I divorced after 21 years.
I stayed because of my children, however in the end I had to get out or I would have been totally destroyed.
2007-10-29 18:24:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋