I have a co worker that is going through occasional rough times with her husband. At the same time, I am having some questions about my marriage. My co worker is extremely beautiful, intelligent and has values, opinions and interests similar to my own. Things that I gave up to be with my wife, I feel like I could embrace again with this other woman. I am looking for answers because I can't figure out what to do. I want to not destroy what I have worked for a very long time to achieve. At the same time, I don't want to keep running in this rut and miss out on something that could be very special.
I have thought about just starting over: new job, new location. I think this might be my only recourse so I don't hurt anybody, which is going to happen no matter what.
2007-10-29 17:54:11 · 14 answers · asked by Jason Spac 1138 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop thinking with your dick this other woman is only different for so long then when that stops she will be just another woman that you will start resenting. You will want to run back to your wife and everything you thought you did not want. You will miss it all and lose it all if you start up with this woman. Don't take my word for it after all I'm just a female. Look at what the guys on here say when there is a question about leaving your wife for another woman. My husband did it to me left me for a co-worker,he came back with so much love for me that happened 10 years ago and he still makes love to me like i was his new wife. The whole time he was gone he suffered from bad head aches and depression that's what having an affair did for him. I fount out when he moved back home the woman planted things in his clothes for me to find.You can listen to me or not I'm only trying to stop you from making a very big mistake.
2007-10-29 18:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, you don't really know this woman, but you know your wife. You've seen the good, the bad and the just plain ugly. So, of course the bloom is off the rose. But, if you jump out of your marriage, not only will it show just how bad your character is, soon, the bloom will be off that rose, too. Then you'll start to see the things you and your Co-Worker DON'T have in common. Just like you're seeing with your wife now.
When you married her you said for better or for worse. Not: until I get bored with you and think I've found something better. So at least I think you owe your wife a talk (not about lusting after your co-worker, that won't go well at all) about your relationship and feelings. Then I think you need some counseling.
Good luck. No one ever said marriage was a thrill ride all the time.
2007-10-30 01:11:02 · answer #2 · answered by that dead girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't do anything with this other girl unless you've already broken it off completly with your wife and she has done the same. If you don't the sex might be good in the beginning but it will just stress you out in the long run.
If things don't work out with that, you might have a problem at work and be single and without a job.
If you want to save your marriage you should focus only on your wife and do the things that you feel will help your relationship.
think of why you first fell in love with her and what attracted you to her. Think of her personality and what you like about it.
Remember no relationship is going to be perfect there is always going to be hard times that actually creates the substance for a long lasting relationship.
Good Luck!
Think of how your going to feel seeing her with someone else, holding them, turning to them for comfort, can you handle that?
2007-10-30 01:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by TM25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy that is a tough one! I think you really need to ask yourself is this only lust you have for this person at work. Usually when people have issues with there marriage we tend to look for happiness somewhere else, however the grass is not always greener on the other side. I think you need to focus on your marriage and see if it can be saved. Try everything to make it work, you got married to that person for a reason. If you try everything and still nothing gets better then discuss it with your partner and tell them how you feel and be open. Do not cheat, you need to be respectful to yourself and to your partner. If you do decide to leave your partner then maybe you could approach the person you are attracted to at work and go from there. However since this person is having problems with her partner you should not influence her in anyway to leave, she has to decide for herself and leave for the right reasons. Jumping from relationship to relationship is not healthy as we all need time to heal and have a long hard think about the future and what we want. I hope that helps in some way, but only you have the answers. Good Luck!
2007-10-30 01:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by sonsby1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your wife? If the answer is yes, do the following:
1) Avoid this intriguing coworker as though she had a germ.
2) Put in for a transfer.
3) Be honest with your wife and communicate that you have some things to work out in counseling. Then make an appointment for said counseling right NOW.
4) There's this thing called happenstance and another called damage control. You "happened" to be missing certain qualities in your wife with whom you've grown too accustomed. It's your physical built-in need to have wondering interests, but quite another to make a conscious choice to be willing NOT to entertain the idea of straying. It's a difference in character; the strong v/s the weak. You are not weak; you're looking for help. You will not leave your wife. You will allow her to regain those qualities you miss in her. You will not hurt her. You will strengthen your marriage. NOW: Implement damage control.
2007-10-30 01:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by MWestbrook 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The worst thing to do is ask a bunch of married people. All they are going to do is tell you that you are wrong and that cheating is immoral. While it is "wrong", sometimes you can't help the way you feel. If you are not happy in your marriage and either is this woman, maybe you should try having a "non-intimate" relationship with her outside of the workplace. If you find that you feel very strongly for her then you two need to consider leaving both marriages.
2007-10-30 11:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by jennyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are even seriously thinking about this than take alittle advice. End your marriage before starting something else. Not sure about your laws but having affairs can be very costly. If there are any children, you better be very sure of what your doing. Quitting a job or moving doesn't solve the problem. If your that unhappy in your marriage, than get out.
2007-10-30 01:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by illisse25 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have to remember that this new person is more of a lusting and or yearning for something new. but remember once your with that new person and the newness wheres off with time you will be right where you are today. just be sure you dont just from the frying pan into the fire.. and dont do anything behind your wifes back. be honest and up front if you want a seperation tell her that.. good luck
2007-10-30 02:03:28 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone!!!! You both could lose your spouses and children and jobs. Also parents and in-laws - many people would be hurt. Now is not the time to be selfish. You could also lose your jobs. Quit talking to her except essential business. Keep your nose to your work.
Remember the grass is not greener on the other side. Try to recapture the things you think you gave up with your wife - you owe her that.
Joy to you..
2007-10-30 01:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to honor you commitment period dot the end. try going spend time with your wife like a vacation get away. express to her your feelings of perhaps being what you want to be. fall in love with your wife all over again. it may take work, but marriage is work.
2007-10-30 01:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by Sean E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋