Salam Alykum sisters, ok
I have been having some rough spots in my marriage which is normal in any marriage. Anyways last friday morning I was very sick and my husband was very tired from work.
I had to go to the hospital because I could not walk so I had asked him to please take me to the hospital, he takes me to the hospital and then tells me he is going home to sleep and to call him when I'm done.
Sisters I have never felt so alone before in my life I know I should be over how I feel on what happen but I just felt so hurt I couldn't even tell the nurse what was wrong because I was crying cause I didnt know what was going to happen, I had IV's put in and MRI scan done Alhumdulliah it was only a Kidney infection and some other stomach problems and my wrists are both sprained, the last hour before leaving my husband comes and is running late to work, and ask me if I can walk home or find someone to pick me up.
2007-10-29 16:42:54 · 8 answers · asked by FeshFash 6 in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Egypt
Sisters I don't know what to do my marriage has hit so many rough spots and I love my husband but not as much as I used to, is this Shaytan or is this Allah telling me I need to be strong and things will work out or do I need to get out of this relationship please sisters I need some advice wallah please make dua'a for me!
2007-10-29 16:43:57 · update #1
Please cheer up sweetie! We have all been there before. I have had moments too where I felt like I was alone and a stranger in my marriage, and I'm sure lots of people feel that way too at times. It's perfectly normal. We choose to stick together for better or for worse and we have to deal with the "worse" when it comes.
Men can be very insensitive to women's needs sometimes, but that is just because they are different in nature I guess. I'm sure your husband didn't realize how much he was hurting you when he did what he did. It's just that some guys don't realize how much we need to have our hand held in situations like this because they deal with this kind of thing differently. I once had a very heart breaking experience and my husband didn't fully appreciate what I was going through. I would cry at night and he didn't really understand that part of the reason I was crying was because of his attitude and reaction to the situation. I have long since forgiven him because I know he really loves me and does the best he can. He didn't mean to hurt me the way he did, and I'm sure your hubby didn't mean to either.
The best thing in situations like this is not to lock your emotions inside, but to let them out and take the direct path of honest confrontation. Sit down with your husband and let him know what's bothering you. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you ecpect of him and that you need his support, and want him there by your side. You have to listen to his side of the story and try to understand why he acted the way he did. Though it may not be convincing to you, at least you will have an insight into how men think and percieve things differently than us women! I was feeling blue and lonely like that once and a dear friend advised me to read "men are from mars, women are from venus"! It is a funny explanation to those differences and will put a smile on your face when you most need it! Please don't let your sorrow and lonliness now blind you to all the good things you have together. You do love him, and I'm sure he loves you too. That's the most important thing. You can work out any problems in your relation with understanding and care. Pray and read some Quran and ask God to do what is best for you. I will remember you in my prayers.
I hope you feel better sweetie and that your health will be better soon ISA. Cheer up dear and let your lovely smile light your face. I wish you all the best! xoxox
2007-10-29 18:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 2⤋
wa3alikum asalam dear,
oh honey that is so sad but please cheer up a little. ok I'm not gonna tell u that what ur husband did was ok cuz he's tried and busy and all. He is ur husband and he should have been more considerate to ur feelings and shud've been with u whenever u needed him especially during such rough times. Now I'm sure u wud have never done the same if he was in ur place. You do have all the rights to be angry and sad abt it. I think what u shud do is talk to ur husband abt it, try to get closer to each other's feelings, try to explain to him that u need him next to u. I don't want u thinking that ur husband is all bad, he has his work and usually come home tired. But really, men in general are selfish u will see them doing stuff like that all the time not being aware that what theyre actions might be hurting others.
I wish u luck and plz just try to talk to ur husband abt how u feel.. I'm sure he will be understand if u tell him and sure he was not very well aware of what he is doing
2007-10-30 01:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by Ruby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As farah said we have all been there, it is a phase and time will heal it, try to be strong, as you are and asking for advice, this is the best way.
Sometimes when men get emotional tired, over worked and stressed, emotional shut down happens. What us females dont handle well about this is that we are naturally mothering and we want to fix every sad emotion that our cared for ones feel. Sometimes we just need to give space, time and not require very much emotionally from them because it seems that your husband is unable to give you many emotions at the moment. This doesnt mean he loves you any less than yesterday it just means tommorows love will be stronger.
Try to help in any way, by being calm, you must seek your own interests and bring joy to your home. Do the little things that need to be done in order for him to have an easier life, such as ensure he has good food, his clothes are fresh and clean and ensure that you make it easier for him to enjoy his free time. Be loving at least offer affection, say when you walk past him kiss him, touch his hand, put a love message under his pillow and greet him with a smile even if your heart is breaking inside, it wont always break there will be laughter again i promise you, it really does happen time and time again in married life. Things just take time to work themself out and if your husband feels for a second that your not solid it will make him more sad. Try to understand without even forcing discussion what is behind the sadness, remember sometimes we cant put our finger on just one thing, so if you were to expect him to be able to tell you, maybe he wont be able to at that time.
After this phase is over he will understand that his actions have hurt you but you will get better equipped at dealing with such issues because you will gain experince of them.
Time will pass, stay strong, stay calm, smile through your sadness and hang on in there, it will be worth it in the end and if you are this upset now then there is alot of love and respect there because you must have felt it from him before in order to feel this way now.
This is married life the sun doesnt always shine but it doesnt always rain so wait for the next sunshine, ti will be bigger and better and brighter
Good luck, take care of your health xxx
2007-10-29 23:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. If my husband would do this to me,he will be in a big trouble;i would never forgive him for that(not even one time-possible divorce,and I'm not kidding).Are u kidding me? I don't care how tired or late he is,I'm his wife and he has to take care me,and not to think than he is tired or will be late for work.
Thank God than u were okay after treatment. But what if it was worst? How could u husband told u to walk?(i really don't understand and never will,sorry)
I know than in Egypt it's happened a lot and i guess wives have to deal with this. I know some girls,including my husband's Mather, how they are suffering with their husbands,so please don't tell me than i don't know nothing about.
Good luck and God Bless u.
2007-10-30 05:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by tetyana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean sahar and I am sorry for you but I also feel your husband, you said he was tired so he went home to sleep. Also, maybe your husband can't be late to work. I am not the right person to give you advice because I am not married but please be more tolerant, who knows maybe he was so confused and worried about you so he didn't know how to behave.
I wish you all happeness.
Peace/Salaam/Shalom
2007-10-30 03:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God Bless U sister.
am not married yet but i used to hear mama saying that she is alone n that daddy comes from work to eat, sleep and watch T.V, n guess what? my brother n me work too so i sat with dad n told him that it will end by both of them alone after me n my brother get married and that mama needs him to even talk a little bit with her.
she feels alone and life is not food and sleeping, so he changed his attitude in this and became much better than before.
My point is : why don't u talk with ur husband about this issue?
2007-10-29 22:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
sahar , I'm sorry to answer , but I didn't stop thinking about ur question , your husband loves you , but he is a guy , we tend to be self-centered , tell him that it was important for you of him to stay , please don't be angry at him , he is just a guy , and you will see how well will be his reaction . he was wromg but at least give him the chance to make it up to you please .
good luck my friend .
2007-10-30 04:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by hasafer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sister can I email you and talk?
2007-10-29 18:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋