What is the right thing to say when somoone says I'm so fat?

Question

Should I lie, and disagree, or what? I mean even though I have a few extra pounds I would never say that. One reason is because it think it would make the other person feel awkward, because I know thats how I feel. Also, because I just don't see the point really. Oh, and I'm not talking about all those skinny people who say they are "fat" either! LOL

Noooo! I mean when they say that about THEMSELVES!!!!!

Answer 1

If a person I am talking to says to me "I am so fat" referring to themselves, what is the right thing for me to say in response to their own self critisism?

there are seven steps to dealing with it

1) get them to talk about the effect it has on their life.
- they find it difficult (embarrassing) to meet potential partners.
- they get sweat rash
- they have health problems etc.
2) how do they feel about those effects
- embarrassed, itchy, sick etc
3) think about what would a potential goal be for the long term future, and write them down on paper
- lose weight 5kg, 10kg, 20kg 30kg etc
- keep that weight off
- fit into particular clothes
- be confident enough to meet those potential partners
4) think about what would a potential goal be for the short term future and write them down on paper.
- lose 2 kg, 4 kg, 6 kg per month
- buy a scale to measure their own weight
- buy a measuring tape to measure their own waist
- engage in moderate exercise to build up a basic level of fitness
- borrow a book from the library to learn about exercise and stretching , warming up and cooling down, controlling the diet.
5) consider how much exercise would be needed to achieve the total long term future goal weight loss
2kg of weight loss per week
- exercise for 1 hour per session twice a day 5 days per week plus dieting, eating specific foods low glycemic index meals get a cook book, low kilojoule (snack on celery, water, fibre supplements etc)
* that's 10 hours per week of exercise and about another 5 hours per week of food preparation, a slight increase of the food bill.
SO that's about 8kg of weight loss in the first month.
the metabolism slows down after that so that the second month will be about 5 kg, the third month will be about 3-4 kg. So taking this "slowing down" into account, many people have to increase their exercise time or intensity, but that often comes naturally.
6) so what is stopping you/me?
- laziness
- illness
- hidden mental / psychological issues
- if I look good then people will treat me like a piece of meat.
- if I look good people will expect things of me that I might not like.
- when I am upset I eat because it makes me feel better.

... sorry gotta go
I guess just ask if they want help to lose the fat.

Answer 2

I'm Laurie and I've lost 60 pounds. I went from a size 14 to a size 6.Since I've lost the weight I feel great. I have lots of energy. I'm willing to do different things. I just love going out, and playing with the kids, and having fun. It's changed everything. My whole life has changed.

Answer 3

I would say "I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable about yourself, we're the worst critics about ourselves, aren't we?

I might just say "Personally, I don't think you look as bad as you think you do". And I would leave it at that. I would not get into long discussion about it.

Generally, just be sympathetic. You don't have to lie at all. It's like anything else when someone feels bad about something.

You understand when someone feels bad? so you can empathize with them without lying.

Anyway, that's what I do.

Answer 4

Don't lie, disagree or anything. Don't give it a response if you feel uncomfortable with it.
You are already well aware that your pants MAY be a bit snug, but aren't you a person first?
You could say 'This is a PERSONAL issue and I think you should be ashamed of yourself for putting your nose where it doesn't belong.'
EDIT: OHHHHH, I understand now!!! *smacks head with hand*
Just tell them there are HUNDREDS of girls out there looking at them and wanting to be them RIGHT NOW. If they are afraid of being big they can either DO something or just keep quiet.

Answer 5

Sometimes the best answer is no answer at all because calling someone fat is a very ignorant thing to do and that particular individual doesn't deserve an intelligent response. People who do this are very insecure and they are trying to build themselves up at the expense of someone else. If your weight is something that might damage your health then please see a doctor but if not you are under no obligation to "worship the god of other people's opinion".
Take care and God bless!!!

Answer 6

I may be fat but you're ugly and I could go on a diet . Then walk away.

Answer 7

I totally agree with what Empress said
say something like i may be fat but at least I'm nice and not a total ***** like you
or i may be fat but at least my condition isn't permanent

Answer 8

If someone complains about the way they look, I encourage them to do something constructive about it if they can, or if they can't, to find a more positive way to look at it. I'm not one for giving empty platitudes.

Answer 9

THE RIGHT THING TO SAY IS NOTHING JUST IGNORE WHAT THEY SAY BECAUSE IF UR HAPPY WITH UR SELF AND U LOVE THE WAY U LOOK THEN IT SHOULDN'T MATTER TO ANYONE BUT U.....IT'S HOW U MAKE UR SELF FEEL IF UR HAPPY THE WAY U R JUST CONTINUE TO LIVE UR LIFE THE WAY U R NOW AND JUST BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND SAY U KNOW WHAT IM HAPPY WITH THE WAY I LOOK AND CANT NOBODY CHANGE THAT!!!!

Answer 10

just ignore them, you could smile at them meaningfully, people could get so tactless and mean and feel that they have the every right to pick on people who gained weight.
i am infact a victim of that. 2 years ago i was prediagnosed with hormonal problems, and my self esteem is totally fragile like you're walking on eggshells. but through constant prayer and support of my siblings. i got by, my boyfriend still loves me even if i gained weight and to him im still the most sexiest woman. but of course i have to help myself and watch what i eat and exercise a bit even if it's juts brisk walking.

Just believe in yourself and you are still beautiful inside, so when the next meanie tells you look like a sperm whale. Just think of a snappy answer that would toally knock him her off the hook. ^^