realize that its a waste of money and a bad influence on our daughter. Any ideas?
2007-10-29 14:55:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
p.s. he is always over drawn in his bank account, complains about not having money for food, cell phone, and other necessities, yet will go to the bar whenever he gets a couple bucks.
2007-10-29 15:14:59 · update #1
sit him down and talk to him tell him he has a paoblem, THEN BACK AWAY.
2007-10-29 15:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him this story,my husbands aunt and uncle always had alcohol in their home in fact they built a really nice bar in the basement. They were the ones who always had the family get togethers. They had 6 kids and as the years went on they started noticing that the youngest boy was acting funny at times well they started marking the bottles of alcohol. They don't know how long he had been doing it he was only 13 at the time they realized what had happened.To make a long story short he turned into an alcoholic and was very depressed all the time. He started to get help with the drinking and stopped. He had a girlfriend who was helping him as well. Years went by he was now 30 and married with two kids he couldn't keep a job because he started drinking again. It got so bad he was about to lose his home so they made an appointment with a bank that morning so his wife took the girl to school and he stayed home to get really for the bank appointment.
When she walked in the house she seen a note on the table it said don't let ......come in the hallway first, he was talking about his 3 year old son. When his wife turned to go in the hallway there he was hanging from a rope he had tided to the drop down to the attic i don't know if his son seen him there or not. He was 30 years old and his daughter was the joy of his life and he showed her all the time she loved him so much.His little girl is 7 now and the boy is 5 and both are so withdrawn. The little girl is very very over weight and everyone at school makes fun of her. His wife doesn't come around us at all. Maybe a sad but very true story like this will help him see what kind of consequences there can be.
2007-10-29 22:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man is absolutely an alcoholic it is affecting his family in ways u don't understand so far u have been given some good advice by the other people that have answered you do need to quit enabling him i am also a daughter of an alcoholic and u need to get your daughter and any other children away from him temporally don't wait for him to so called hit bottom your child will be really damaged by then tell him if he does not get treatment, and in patient would be best that he has to leave if he wont leave than u leave it does no good to dump his bottles and stuff like that he just uses his money for more and no bills get paid and stop helping go to al anon and have your daughter go to alateen if old enough or the younger childs program get her counsling if u can as she is already in pain and stick to your convictions and no more of this cutting back he cant drink at all.period most people cant do it alone he needs to go to AA daily and its all worth it for his family especilly the girl please dont put her through any more her father is a drunk and needs help and u are the only one left to protect her and she is depending on u dont let her down and dont let him come back unless and until he is off the booze but also let him know u all love him and want him to get better dont keep his child away from him if u can help it but keep her safe to if u cant afford counseling get on that computer talk to friends family church and go to maybe social services and see if they can recommend low cost or free counsling u might need to live apart for awhile to make this real and make an impression on him that u mean business and that above all u will keep your daughter away if he cant leave the booze alone but if he is sober i hope he will be the best father and husband. if u think he is drinking u dont have to let your daughter go with him even if there is a court order as no judge will allow a parent to take a child while drinking i hope it does not come to that and everything works out for all concerned
2007-10-29 22:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO way that you can CONTROL the actions of another person. The ONLY person that you have control over is YOU.
If your husband has an alcohol dependency ... Or, in other words ... if your husband is an alcoholic .... Then YOU... NOR
your husband will be able to do this alone. Alcoholism is
very serious.
I would suggest you contact AL-ANON it is a support group for the family members of alcoholics .... and for family members of people that drink too much. They will be able to
give you support and information that will help you to understand what you are dealing with. (For example ... If you TRY to limit your husband's alcohol consumption ... and HE is NOT in agreement ... He will just drink behind your back!)
I am concerned that your daughter "may" have to grow up with a parent that drinks too much. My father (he is now deceased) was an alcoholic .... and it was a VERY difficult childhood.
Also, I am currently married to an alcoholic .... And, again ....
IT IS NOT EASY! But .... based on my experience I can tell
you that "recovery" for the addict IS possible. (But so are
relapses!)
I sincerely suggest that you get some help and support.
Think about YOUR daughter .... Look what happen to me.... My dad was an alcoholic .... and THEN I end up marrying ONE!
2007-10-29 22:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by kjh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, is he an alcoholic? If not then it should not be an issue.
If financially it is not working then he needs to address that aspect. However, if it is not a financial issue for the family (ie: taking $$ from daughter or mom) then let it be.
As far as a bad influence, I grew up in a family which allowed drinking (as children we also had a snifter of brandy with dinner). None of us five children are heavy drinkers, and only one of us was stupid enough to get drunk off our rear ends.
Our children were raised learning how to properly rate their intake, as a result, they are always the DDs at the parties, and now successful 20 somethings. Their friends raised in homes where drinking was prohibited and scorned are either alcholic, in jail, or drink irresponsibly.
I guess my answer isnt really telling you what to do or how to do it, it is just more to think of how it affects you and your family and is this really a battle worth bringing on.
2007-10-29 22:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by whoknowsanymore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his financial life is in disorder and he continues to drink it sounds like a bigger problem. You should do some research on the signs of alcoholism and encourage him to read with you. As the daughter of an alcoholic it takes a greater toll than you know. Get him the help he needs. The phrase "I don't want to make him quit completely" is basic co-dependent enabling. You should want him to quit completely if it's affecting your life in an adverse way. Good luck, I hope he listens. If he doesn't, you need to take the steps to let him know how serious you are.
2007-10-29 22:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Go to Al-anon because his drinking is something you can't control and it's affecting you and your kid. He's obviously got a drinking problem if it's becoming a problem for you.
2007-10-29 22:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
basically tell him how you feel. its the best way of doing it. it may not work, but its a shot.
2007-10-29 22:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by just hanging around 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get him to use a smaller & smaller glass each time you pour
2007-10-29 21:59:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to bipolar.com trust me on this one!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-29 23:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋