should a man when DNA has cleared him of being the biological father, continue to pay child support?

Question

in cases where women have an affair, then give birth to the lovechild of the affair, but not tell their husband, and then one day he finds out about the affair, divorces, get stuck with child support thinking the child was his, has a dna test, and then confirms he is not the father, and then stops paying child support for the child that is not his. legally however courts have ruled that once "bonded" to the child, that the man still must pay child support or face jail time. in effect the courts do not want a single mother ( from divorced or just single ) to be on welfare, they want a man, any man, to pay for it, it is not necessarily in the best interest in the child, it is the best interest of the state, it is the only crime ( fraud ) in which a women can commit and the courts will take her word ( there is no verification like DNA testing when naming the father on a birth certificate ) at face value

The Mrs. - you are wrong, courts have and do force men to pay for support if they feel a bond has formed, The state of Washington is notorious for this alone, you need not be married either,you merely have to bond with a single mother's child

vtvic1 -
you bring up an interest point, but are you saying you rather be lied to and it be better that you were bonded to the child, then to know the truth, even if you know it may very well hurt you? then you in effect if a person cheats, it's ok so as long as you do not know, reguardless of the consequences
i dis agree, i'ld rather know the the truth with the option of keep a non financial relationship with a child, very much like a grandparent has a non financial relationship with their grandchildren
ideally i think all live births be DNA tested to ensure 100% positive matches to fathers
of course the state and welfare agencies vehemetly oppose it, not for the sake of the child, but for the sake of keeping mothers off welfare roles

Answer 1

Legally no; only the biological father should pay child support.

That being said, if I thought a child was mine, and raised it as mine, and treated it as mine, it pretty much is mine in every sort of real way, except the strict legality.

I would not be overly concerned with it at that point, as the child's interests should supersede all others. But the courts have no business forcing a man to pay support simply because he bonded with the child. If he's any sort of a man, he probably would offer some support just because he loves the child as his own.

The court should spend it's time finding the real dad, and making him pay.

Answer 2

It's pointless if his genes or the ones of other men were the ones who left his wife pregnant if he was having sex around those dates in the calendar and he wasn't suspicious that was his child or not.

That means he married wrong and the genes that left his wife pregnant could have been his also, that makes the subject which genes not being as important as who was the legal husband of that woman at that point in time (regardless if she was or not a good woman - which is the men's problem and the men's choice).

Narrowing this we get to that point where genes doesn't matter (because if the guy didn't have sex, would have known he wasn't the father), is now time to think on what is better for the child, making this man responsible (he shouldn't in somehow, but a child cannot be left alone or let someone who in first place didn't want anything serious with the woman - since it was an afair) take such a huge responsibility.

This means if you are married, you better know to who you are married because that's the way things work. This also says is not a good idea to get married, or get married in a rush like many women like doing (which perfectly makes sense for the kind of legal environment where society is placed at this time, where woman doesn't really have to be responsible since someone else will take care of her and her mistakes)

Answer 3

Wow you have opened a can of worms! However with that said I personally do not think that a man should have to pay support based on bonding. In many cases the men find out that they have been lied to and deceived continue to pay support for the sake of the child. If that is where his heart is then i agree, however if I were a man I would want that to be my choice not the courts. Women have been doing this since the beginning of time but now with DNA they are getting caught. U make a very valid point and raise some interesting questions that are in need of answering. However it is not going to be solved any time soon. I am a woman and have 3 kids I would gladly submitt to DNA at any time.

Answer 4

tough question.....here is the situation that I am in and I can let you decide from there....

My girlfriend and myself were very young when we were dating.
For a bit we did try to have a child, however we realized this was not a good idea at that time. We argued a lot, we were young, I didn't have full faith that she was being faithful. So we decided to stop trying, and of course that is when she became pregnant. Well we tried to stay together, but with fate as it is we separated. During the pregnancy i had asked about a person that i suspected something to have happened with. She denied it, however i wasn't convinced. But feeling a responsibility to the child, we voluntarily filed for support. Throughout the years I wasn't always in the child's life, however we tried to make it work as much as possible. I was there for broken bones on the playground, different other mishaps, sports growing up, times of needing this and that for school and other desires. Holidays were always hard to schedule, but during the years it was always "dad and daughter". She is about to graduate and has grown into a very beautiful young woman. If i at anytime had wished i could have had a DNA test performed and tried to stop child support. But what good would it have done, none. It would have hurt a very beautiful young lady, and myself as well I would have had a huge loss in my life.

Even though legally and by all rights stopping the child support and relation with the child would be merited in the case you describe. Would it be worth it to the child and the parent that is terminating an existing relation with the child?

In my case I don't think it would make sense or be the best case at all.

I hope that helps

Answer 5

at the very beginning of EVERY custody hearing, the judge will ask if you are the father, in which you have an oppurtunity to respond with a "it's possible i may not be, i request a paturnity test". ALL MEN SHOULD RESPOND THIS WAY!!. if you don't, you are a dunce. always get tested. it's not about trust, who cares if the mother is insulted. cover your bases.once this moment has passed, you have lost your chance to object. it's standard law. once you legally accept the child as your own, you are legally responsible. it's the law. it sucks for those that don't know...this is why you educate yourself or pay an educated person to do this for you. the law is to protect the child, not the parent. every custody trial begins this way for a reason. yes..it sucks that men out there find this out the hard way, but without a good attorney and/or finding the biological father of the child in question, getting out of child support is not an option.

Answer 6

I think the true father that's the father has been proved by DNA should pay support and the other man should be paid back money owed to him because this child was not his. I think this should be in this case and any case when a man is paying child support and the child is not his. If a man choose to pay support for a child knowing that the child is not biology his this is a different matter. But to long women have taken advantage of the system we have in place today.

Answer 7

If you are going strictly on 'fairness', then no, it's not fair for a man to pay support for a child that dna tests have proven is not his....so perhaps it should give more men pause to a. pick a better match for a wife so that there is a better chance for NO cheating, or b. actually respect women enough to marry them before creating babies all over the place. I actually like that the courts are trying to place the child first. In the child's life, that man was 'like' a father, why should the child pay the price for everyone else's promiscuity?

Answer 8

I think you should get a lawyer and go to court to show there that the child is not yours, and you are not obligated to pay child support, I think this is totally wrong, you should fight to stop this woman, I feel bad for the child but, only if is in you to help the child but because you choose not because it is mandated and the woman lie you should sue for the child support you already paid. Let the man she sleep with pay for his child or since she can 't keep her legs closed she can figure it out her self no put in to somebody else. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I don't think that legally the man should have to pay. Maybe morally he may should stay in the child's life but I don't think that he should be forced to do that legally.

The woman is the "bad guy" here. The man was a victim. He was mean to the girl but the woman was the cause of it all.

That Gloria Allred lady sounded like an idiot on Dr. Phil today. I wondered if she just agreed to argue the side they needed argued if they would push her book. She didn't make any sense.

Answer 10

I just saw a show on this very topic, and what was said was that you have to go in front of a judge and he has to decide if you continue to pay the support, but if he says that you have to, then you find the real father of the child, and sue him because it is his obligation. The point is at the time of divorce, that should have been discussed and put in there.