I am living in limbo--that gray area in a relationship full of uncertainty and unknowing. I recently got engaged to the woman of my dreams. I purchased a home, downsized my life, and began to build my life around her. My family has been an issue, but I chose her. Coming from an Italian family, the drama of la familia has taken its toll on us both, and she has recently taken her ring off. She says she is uncertain of our future, wants to take it day by day. Should I be concerned? I love her deeply, madly. I fear it may no longer be recipricol. How should I respond?
2007-10-29 13:36:08 · 5 answers · asked by dominia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for your insights. I am crushed by the act of her taking the ring off. I know it's just a ring, but, as was suggested, it symobloizes so much. I see it sitting in the draw on a daily basis--discarded, listless, without meaning. I tried to apporach her about it, but it got turned around on me as if I had betrayed our relationship. I feel so emasculated, powerless, but wanting to make a change. I do love her, but feel that she doesn't love me with the same intensity, passion, and devotion. It hurts; she knows it hurts me. She asks me to be patient--but how can we regress? It just doesn't make sense to be engaged, then not? Though she still refers to me as her fiance, the ring, that blasted ring reminds me that all is not well. Should I lick my brusies and push on? I'll stand the barbs--I'm weak.
2007-10-29 14:09:26 · update #1
By-the-by, I did decide on her over my family, but I fear the damage has been done.
2007-10-29 14:11:55 · update #2
If she took her ring off you should be worried. There are no grey areas, she either wants to make a life with you or she doesn't no matter what the hurdles are!!
2007-10-29 13:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might end up having to choose her or your family. In either case, your family might not be a problem because if she truly loved you, she wouldn't care. You can always move away and visit your families only on holidays, which should be bearable.
Taking a ring off was pretty rush from her. It should be a heartbreaking for you because a ring symbolizes so much. You should talk to her and find out what is going on. It cannot be only your family because it can be solved. You are not your family! You are you.
Tell her that you love her and will do anything to work this out. Offer to go to see a marriage counselor or anything else.
2007-10-29 20:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband's family would've been intrusive and my husband had allowed them to be, no matter how much I love and care for him, I would have left him in a beat. I'm a very private person and cannot stand it when any relatives or friends -his side or mine- even attempt to intrude or have a say in my private affairs;I DO NOT allow this to happen. Be a man and stand for what you love. You don't need to stop loving or seeing your family; La famiglia sará sempre famiglia; simply cut the umbilical cord already. It might be two things: either she fell out of love or she got tired of having to deal with your family's intrusions.
2007-10-29 21:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell "la familia" to back off. That might help.
2007-10-29 20:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking or telling?
2007-10-29 20:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋