My wife watches porn. I've stopped doing the things she doesn't like and stopped doing things that single men do when we got together. I caughter writing to a man she slept with before us about our sex life and she even thanked him for the sex they had when they were together. After that she goes and calls another guy she slept with. If I had done all this I wouldn't hear the end of it. What am I doing wrong?
2007-10-29 12:29:37 · 24 answers · asked by B.S. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sound like shes bored
2007-10-29 12:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old she is or how long you've been married, but this sounds like a mid-life "we're in a rut" sort of thing. If you haven't already talked to her about this, I think you should. The calls with former lovers may be innocent enough, but probably not helpful to your situation.
If she won't own up to why she's watching the porn or be straight with you about what she wants that she might not be getting, then you've got a larger issue. Ask honest questions, expect honest answers, and focus on what you want - not what she's done. Making her the "bad" person in this situation won't solve anything.
2007-10-29 19:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by pecosee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are doing nothing wrong. She is probably just wanting to spice things up by watching the porn, or looking for a little excitement. If she is writing to someone else about your sex life (bragging) you have nothing to worry about. But she should not be thanking someone else for sex she had before you two got together. Try spicing things up- massage oils? Ever tried blindfolding? Ice cubes? Whipped cream? Maybe take her out to buy some new lingerie. Do something to make her feel sexy again and I guarantee you will have her undivided attention once more... Use your imagination.
2007-10-29 19:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kimmi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stop your wife from watching porn??? You sound just like most wives complaining about their husbands. If it's some kind of insecurity, then just get over it.
As far as the chatting with old lays, and THANKING THEM....whoa....you have an issue bro. Tell her that thanking ex boyfirends for the sex they had is not acceptable...and neither is calling them if that's how you feel about it.
If she doesn't change, move on.
The alternative is that you should learn not to be such a goof in bed. THat way, she won't have to thank old bf's for doing it right.
2007-10-29 19:49:16 · answer #4 · answered by ALMIGHTY 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Porn in a marriage is acceptable when it is an accessory that BOTH partners enjoy. You can use it to spice things up and get ideas from. But when one of the partners is uncomfortable with it, the other should respect that and happily give it up. Porn isn't a necessity and therefore if they aren't willing to give up such a "so-called meaningless habit" then that goes to show you that there isn't much they'll sacrifice for you.
Communicating with past-partners isn't usually a crime unless they're doing what your wife is doing. She's crossed a level of trust with you. Its inappropriate for her to be discussing such things with expartners, especially when she knows you're having relationship issues. She's being very irresponsible.
I suggest counseling before things get out of hand. If that doesn't work, you may want to end the marriage. You shouldn't have to compromise your feelings for your partner. If you are uncomfortable with the porn and don't enjoy watching it with her (or having her watch it at all) then you should be able to set conditions in your marriage, not be pushed to "accept it" or do anything you don't like. If you have changed for her, she should change for you. That's what marriage is about: compromise on both halves without leave a spouse feeling hurt.
2007-10-30 02:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could watch the porn with her. You can't really stop anyone from doing anything. You have to talk and effectively communicate. Now as far as her talking to some guy and thanking him for the sex they had, that is no good. My wife, well never mind, we talked it through and it worked out. You are going to have to talk .
2007-10-29 19:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by PUMA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who does she go to bed with....
be a bit more secure in your woman...she still goes to bed with you...
damn most guys would envy your position and take advantage of that situation...
look...you DEFINITELY have upper hand...so..tell her..hey what have you learned in all that porn...do it on ME!...
I AM SURE YOU HAVE LEARNED A FEW NEW TECHNIQUES...for the sake of our marriage...you might as well get some practice...
in time, ask her...if i did this to you....you would be in tears...so...1 of 2 things....1) DID you see me do this to you and you are acting in revenge? or 2) why are you contacting old boyfriends?? if it were just online porn..that would even be something for both of us..but the moment that you talk to other guys....should I thank every girl I screwed before you for taking a lottery ticket by sleeping with me???
try and see if she can be empathetic to your side of the story and see what she thinks..
2007-10-29 19:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i cant watch it becasuse my parents put the parental controls on and i dont have administrative u can try that.
and try to be more interedsting in the bed room because she must be board. look at some help sites 4 some new ways 2 have sex or some new and diff ideas.
2007-10-29 19:39:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know about the letter and the calls to the other guy, which isn't cool! but i can tell you personally that if my hubby told me i had to stop watching porn, i'd pack up and move out. i've been watching porn for about 20 years with & without my hubby.
good luck trying to get her to stop, if she won't, then join her.
2007-10-29 19:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear that. Tell her how this is making you feel. Maybe start doing the old things that she doesnt like. Get her attention back to you. Good luck
2007-10-29 19:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by ~Nik~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does B S stand for Bull Sh*t? Just two hours ago you were asking how to get your husband to stop watching porn.....
2007-10-29 19:37:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋