What to do if a woman loves her husband deeply but hates the way he romances her (kisses, lovemaking...)?

Question

What to do if a woman loves her spouse deeply, but she hates the way he makes love to her and the way he kisses her even.
What to do if she has tried to show him how she would like things done, but he never seems to get it and it just ends up irritating her. Sometimes she feels terrible because she misses the way someone else she used to date did it.

Answer 1

You have to get any thought of that ex right out of your head. NOW! The thing is, your relat--HEY! Stop that! I know it's hard, but you've got to forget your ex and anything he did to please you. Your relationship with your husband depends on it. You have to think of why you married him in the first place. Face it, honeymoon period is over... You and hubby need to discuss exactly what it is you both need. You can't exactly change how someone kisses you. Less he gets a mouth transplant. Concentrate on your love for the person, not so much the physical idiosyncrasies.

Answer 2

I knew there was a twist there at the end. You never should have gotten married. None of us do it like someone in our past does. You need to let go of your past or get a divorce. The real victim here is your husband. I feel sorry for the guy. Makes love to his wife be she thinks about someone else. You need to find what he does that is good and build off of that. Or else you will not make it. Your husband isnt the other guy. So get over it. Quit trying to make him into the other guy.

Answer 3

I'd say this woman has issues and should go to therapy or counseling so she can deal with them....The fact she is thinking about an ex- and comparing him with her current husband- is a red flag and should not be ignored, IMO.

Add to this the fact she feels terrible about this, and you have a recipe for a disaster. So if this is a close friend, tell her to go to therapy ASAP--- or she will be really stressed ...and her marriage and husband will become a nightmare.
Good luck.

Answer 4

There is always a positive in trying something totally unexpected.Why not try a FMF three some ,with an available couple.It will satisfy the desire,be more intimate without risking the loss of the relationship.

Answer 5

You are not making yourself clear to your husband. You need to make it clear. Start dominating him and telling him you are not going to get this unless you do this just the way I like it. If he does not get it right keep on telling him over and over again. I think you still have feelings for that person you dated and you are making excuses.

Answer 6

Focus on her deep love for him when he is romancing her. Look deep into his eyes and understand/learn his original method of romancing his beloved wife. Trying to teach him will only confuse him and he won't be himself. After all, romancing is an expression of love.

Answer 7

Tell him how you like it until he listens and gets it right. This is very important!! If you truly love your husband, you need to try to wait patiently until he improves his technique. If not, your marriage will soon be over.

Answer 8

Tell him... men are not mind readers, and the only reason she is reminiscing because he is not doing it right. Be verbal... get aggressive. This a marriage for Christ's sake make it work.

Answer 9

the real problem is that she is probably in love with that someone else
not the way her husband romances her

Answer 10

Then she should have married the one that she dated. You chose your husband, teach him and teach him again.
He`ll get it eventually, unless you are having second thoughts about your marriage and wished you were with the other one?