I was a homemaker prior to my divorce (he cheated) and am still looking for decent work. I've found countless jobs outside of Cleveland and decided to move myself and my children to where the job I'm taking is located. Coincedentally, my boyfriend is from that same area. I'm now getting people saying that I'm not thinking about the kids and their best interests (yes, the ex is one of them). I feel like this is my chance to get out of this city and move my kids into a better place... the country.. not to mention that I will have a job there. Unfortunately, my family is here, but my costs are lower and I have friends out there to help if I need them. I feel that it is the right thing to do in my heart. The new place is only 2.5 hours away from the ex and he is still going to get them on his weekends and holidays. I don't understand why this is such a huge deal since he's the one that left us. Am I wrong?
2007-10-29 11:18:48 · 12 answers · asked by Penny's from Heaven 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all of the answers already! I feel that I'm doing the right thing, but from time to time need a little bit of a confidence booster.
Zoomies - He has never been a great dad and I doubt that he will continue to bother with us since his interest in the kids has already started to dwindle and he's making excuses.
2007-10-29 14:17:42 · update #1
No you need to do what is best for you and your kids and to hell with what everyone else says . they dont pay your bills and they dont own you so do what you want to do good luck to you . I dont blame you I would move away after a divorce too . good luck .
2007-10-29 13:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My input is this, how is it in the best interest of the children if the mother stays close.
Which puts her in a position to continue to be abused by the ex and his family? There are
legitimate reasons to move away besides a better/new job. And, away as in a distance that does not allow the abused parent to get sucked back in with a few hours drive. Depending on the situation it might not be possible for the mother in this case to have no other option but get as far away from the abusive relationship for at least the time being.
I just think a unilateral decision on this can not be determined. Due to the vast variations in relationships and life styles.
2007-10-31 05:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't going to be popular, but I can see his point also. If you and he do not get along, that is fine. But what about the football games/ recitals/ school plays that Dad will be missing out on that had you stayed he would have been able to attend? Those PTA meetings and Dr. appointments? Basically you will be taking the rest of the kids' lives away from him and he will be left being a visitor to his own kids. If you two do not get along, I kinda doubt much quality communication will occur. It seems like you will be getting a whole new life and leaving him with just memories where he used to have kids.
If he has not been in their lives, sure do what will make you all happy. But if he has been there for them, no matter what a sleaze he has been to you, please just give it a second thought.
2007-10-29 12:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by thatWhitegirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would not even second guess this one. He left you then has the nerve to complain! Do what is be for you and your children, even if this means moving only 2.5 hours away. He was more than likely not expecting you to move on/better yourself. Only you know whats best and I feel that you are making the right move here. Good Luck!
2007-10-29 11:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by mrsclh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your life. You do what you feel right for you and mostly your kids. Dont let anyone tell you what to do. And besdies it's good you know someone to where you are moving wether it is a friend or a boyfriend etc. Good luck and best wishes. =]
2007-10-29 11:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ღ♥Alisa♥ღ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what your cheating ex thinks.
Do what is best for you....period!
Who cares what other people think.
Do what is best for you......period!
You're on your own so you get to make the decisions.
This is your life and you get to live whatever way you want to.
2007-10-29 11:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by LAL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are doing exactly the right thing, and make him make the drive to get the kids on his weekends and holidays.
the only thing that might make it better would be if your family could move there with you!!
2007-10-29 11:33:41 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do what is best for you, I wish you the best, good luck to you. It's not you are moving across the country.
2007-10-29 11:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your life and your kids are along for the ride. Do the best thing for you.
2007-10-29 11:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's none of your business what others think of you. It is your business what is true about you. To thine ownself be true. You are an adult and you make your own decisions about your life and if you have the kids, about their life too.
2007-10-29 11:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋