help editing sentence!!!!!10pts best answer!!!!?

Question

How can I make this sentence stronger or more appealing to my college professor?? what should i add/take out?? suggestions examples welcomed...

You simply would like for the scientific fundamentalist to recognize or give credence to the existence of paranormal activity instead of discrediting its existence due to the lack of evidence produce and their own dogmatic beliefs.

Answer 1

One simply would prefer the scientific fundamentalist to give credence to the existence of paranormal activity instead of discrediting its existence based solely on lack of evidence or their dogmatic beliefs .

Answer 2

I would like the scientifically minded to be open to the possibility of paranormal experiences without their requiring evidence to support the existence of the paranormal.

Note that "You simply would like" is a weak beginning. You might try personalizing it as I suggest above, or alternately you could say, "This writer would like...."
I don't think "scientific fundamentalist" has meaning. At any rate, the expression is a put-down. Its connotation is too highly charged. Ann Coulter need not be your model. Don't feel obligated to create enemies.
"Dogmatic beliefs" should be eliminated, since it shows YOUR dogmatism and over-charged opinion. What is very important to make your argument pursuasive is to have a reasoned, non-emotional tone. The word "dogmatism" is simply too inflamatory.
I have to admit, too, that I don't agree with the sentiment of this passage. Many scientists have devoted countless experiments towards proving the existence of the paranormal. Studying it is not outside the purview of science.
Still--if you insist on this opinion, try to be level headed and even-handed. Note carefully the connotation of your word choices.You want to at least appear to be more rational than the rationalists you are upbraiding.

Answer 3

You would want the scientific fundamentalist to acknowledge the existence of paranormal activity, rather than criticizing and even denying its existence, due to the lack of evidence, produce, and their own dogmatic beliefs.

Answer 4

I'd shorten it a bit if you can. Consider this:

You would like the scientific fundamentalist to give credence to the existence of paranormal activity instead of discrediting its existence due to lack of evidence and their own dogmatic beliefs.