My husband likes watching porn and i like watching Tyson Beckford. We both decided that he'd stop watching porn and I, Tyson Beckford. But yet he still gets caught watching porn and lies about it and when i tried having tyson beckford pics he FREAKED OUT! can someone help.
2007-10-29 10:57:14 · 25 answers · asked by B.S. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2007-10-29 16:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to set conditions in your marriage when something hurts you, especially if it starts breaking your trust. People often will tell you to just 'get over it' and accept that porn is a natural part of a man's life but that's ridiculous. A man can live without porn. If he can't- he's got a problem of his own to deal with and shouldn't be making bigger commitments like marriage. If porn really is "no big deal" like others will tell you, then it shouldn't be a big deal to give it up. You have a right to dislike something that makes you uncomfortable and not have to be talked into liking it, accepting it, or trying it out. We set our own boundaries in life and nobody should push them except ourselves.
That being said- porn can be quite appropriate in a marriage if it is an accessory (you watch it together, you get ideas from it) but only if both partners are completely comfortable with it. If not, someone will always be resentful and that will only bring up bigger problems in the future. Porn shouldn't be a necessity or a hinderance to a marriage and the intimacy you build together.
For whatever reason that porn bothers you, you have a right to keep it out of your marriage. If he can't, he has a problem and the two of you should seek counseling. Obviously he's getting something from the porn that he's not getting from you otherwise it wouldn't be a problem. The fact that he adheres to a double standard by not letting you look at Mr Beckford should be an indication of just another problem the two of you have in your marriage. Like I said- seek counseling. If he isn't willing, its up to you whether or not you stick around in a marriage where your feelings aren't considered or respected.
2007-10-30 02:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know who Tyson Beckford is , but your both adult's maybe time you tried acting like it .
Its time people really looked for the deeper problems in their marriages that are far more important then the topic of porn which gets the blame every time.If he isnt making love to you then neither of you are putting enough time and effort into the relationship to entice either 1 of you to give and take on the sex issue. If he is giving you sex on a regular basis ie: once or twice a week , then you have NO issue.
Stop acting like his mother and start acting like his wife.
As to the answer's above , men are only now realizing after centuries of being on this planet and having penis's attached to their bodies that porn is OK? lmao what a joke , just as many women watch porn either through chat web cam sites or private camming in yahoo and msn and the one's who deny it vehemently are the one's who watch it the most so why dont ya'll just jump off ya pedestal's ya got yaselves on and be honest , and to the 1 who says her b/f dont watch porn hahahahaha yeah right you wish.
2007-10-29 19:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to take a giant step and teach him by example. No more Tyson Beckford- to be honest I have no idea who or what that is and let him know how much that porn is hurting you and if he truly wants to make this a better marriage then he has to be willing to work on this addiction too.
All else fails he needs to get some help with this addiction.
If he is gonna continue on with no regard to your feelings and won't work on it then it may be time to leave and give him some space to think about what this is doing to your marriage. Sometimes you have to pull out the big guns when they are hard headed and won't listen at all.
I hope and pray he is willing to work on this for the sake of your marriage and don't fall into his trap and go for it yourself. This won't help matters. Set that example.
2007-10-29 18:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do either one of you need to stop? Nothing is wrong with porn or Tyson Beckford! Just have fun and go with the flow. I would think it would help in the bedroom. Good luck.
2007-10-29 18:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by jo 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
First, who is Tyson Beckford. Second, scratch that first I don't care. Third, compulsively viewing porn is terrible for the relationship. It might sound stupid, but it can be an obsession. I struggle with it myself. It's no good. It's better to work with my wife and overcome it. My wife is gorgeous, and I would blow her off for porn. I don't really know why. The thing is we have great sex, but I still get drawn to the porn. She works with me and I have gotten better, but you should talk to him and be understanding.
2007-10-29 19:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by PUMA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is an out of control problem of our society - guys now think this is normal.
However, it's very destructive to your marriage and intimacy and it must be stopped. See Dr. Dobson's research. I don't know who Tyson Beckford is - are you doing porn, too? If so, you must stop. The brain is like a video camera - what you see can be replayed at anytime.
What I would do:
If I have children, I'd insist on immediate counseling.
If not, I'd make him chose between his porn or me. If he choses me, then I have the porn collected and burned immediately - issue not to come up again.
Joy to you!
2007-10-29 18:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Do your think and let him do his that is the only thing that you can do you can not stop him from watching porn and you do not need to stop watching youtyson beckford. Just try to engage with him when he is watching dress sexy and come and show him that he can do it for real but with you men will never stop watching pron even if they have super model women. That is just there thing like a hobby.
2007-10-29 18:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lost 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like to me a double standard. You need to point it out to him. I don't see what the big deal is about Tyson Beckford, but that is just me. Anyway, you need to point out the double standard.
2007-10-29 18:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by linsey_runnels 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did he make this deal willingly? Or was he coerced into doing so?
He's not going to stop watching porn, he's just going to stop watching porn openly.
He's a guy! And why do you care? Men are smarter than we give them credit. It isn't like he really thinks those women are going to come hunt him up for a piece, and be all dolled up, and waxed, with a fresh spray on tan, and body makeup to cover all those blemishes they have just like everybody else.
So long as he isn't forcing you to watch it, since I gather you don't appreciate it, I dont see what the problem is, as long as he is still spending quality time with you, and has his priorities straight.
There are a lot worse things he could be doing! At the strip club wastin $$$ on lapdances, out with his buddies pickin up chicks and gluggin beer, plugged in the video game for all waking hours... cheating... etc.
2007-10-29 18:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ista 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are fighting nature, give up
Or find Tyson Beckford porn! Here's a start...
http://labigiotteriadiesther.punt.nl/upload/Tyson_Beckford.jpg
2007-10-29 18:00:33 · answer #11 · answered by Mister Cookie 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋