What is the best way to deal with a difficult teacher, as a parent ? My child is polite and well mannered?

Question

As mentioned my child is not a discipline problem, she completes all her assignments but for some reason , she can't do well with this teacher. This is 4th grade material and I work very closely with her...she is getting to the point where she feels she can do nothing right. PLEASE HELP

Let me edit....I have spoken to the principal who did speak to my daughter...I appreciate all advice but my daughter has never had any conflicts with any other teacher. No she is not an angel but she is a child that knows how to behave properly in public, the feedback I get from her teachers on her report cards and progress reports are she is sweet and a pleasure to have in class. I understand personality conflicts are a part of life but as adults we deal with them as adults... I don't feel a 9 yr old should have to deal with this...It's been a few years since Ive been in school and clearly schools have changed....Is 4th grade a turning point? Are kids coddled more in 1st thru 3rd Am I over reacting ....pls only serious replies

Answer 1

Try asking the teacher what his/her problem is with your daughter. Go for it

Answer 2

Well, you can see about getting your child transferred to another teacher. Some schools allow it, others don't.

Another approach would be to make sure your child interacts with other teachers (art, music, phys.ed, etc.) who will build her up and counteract some of the teacher's negativity. Also, try setting your child up to study with others in the class. There may be some technique that the other kids have, that fit more with what the teacher wants.

Sadly, through elementary and high school, and later college, I saw again and again that soothing the teacher's ego and giving him or her what s/he wants is an easier route to success than studying hard. Try to figure out what the teacher is interested in, and what the values are. I also had trouble with a 4th-grade teacher, who was very much into teams and socializing. I was a shy introvert, and this guy made me feel like a total oddball for the entire school year.

Good luck, and remember, it's only one year.

Answer 3

I have a 12 y/o boy, while he is certainly no angel, he is a bright boy who can do very well in school. Last year he had 2 classes with one teacher and he could not do anything to succeed. He went into last year with math and science as his favorite subjects, they soon became his worst. I sat down with the teacher twice. The first time I didn't see any sign of help or understanding from her, the second confirmed my opinion from the first. I then sat down with my son and explained that this will pass, he has done nothing wrong, and all he needs to worry about is the lesson, not the grade. He passed with a C in both classes, A's in all his other classes. He and I came to understand that this is part of life, there are people we all have to deal with, who are in a position of power, that we won't get fair and equal treatment from. She needs to know it is not her fault, you need to reinforce the value of self discipline and acceptance of those things that she is not in control of. And now a new year has begun, the old teacher is a memory, and he loves math and science again!!!

Answer 4

I would set up a meeting with the teacher and bring your complaints. It is nearing the end of the 1st quarter (unless you're in a year-round school) and should be time for parent-teacher conferences very soon. Talking to the principal might help as well, however, that can be seen as going above the "chain of command'. Ideally, you would voice the concerns from your child's sense of self-worth as an issue, rather than as an upset parent who is defending your child--you can bring up that you want to work together in the best interest of the child, that way the teacher won't feel that they are being attacked and become defensive.

Answer 5

The first thing is your kid has to learn that not everyone is going to coddle and mother her.
Children learn in school that not every teacher should be teaching. Teachers are people too.

Parents need to realize this too. Everyone is not going to get along, this is the way of the world. Take your kid out of the class then what does this teach your kid? This is only one year out of the life of your kid.

My boys say this almost every year! Mom I do not like my teacher, well to bad. This is your teacher and you have to learn to get along.

If the teacher is doing something that is not right, immoral or whatever go through the chain of command to get the teacher reprimanded.

If you feel this teacher is damaging the kids get the teacher fired.

Answer 6

At that age the child can be feeling overly sensitive. Talk to the teacher, give her your concerns and if you feel she's treating your child unfairly then you have the right to have your child transferred to another teacher's class. But be sure there is a real problem first, if your child is feeling overly sensitive then you could be setting a very bad precedent for the rest of her school years.
You can also sit in on her class anytime you want, it is your right as a parent. Go see what goes on for yourself.

Answer 7

I can absolutely guarantee you the problem lies with the teacher. After retiring (from business, not teaching) I worked as a sub in about fifteen different school districts grades 5-12. I worked every day for three years and was always in demand. I was constantly shocked and appalled at the difference between when I was in school and now. The biggest difference--the quality and professionalism of the teachers!

I took the teaching exam one summer. There were about 100 of us. I was the only one who didn't have a teaching degree, and many had 3-5 yrs. teaching experience. I took it for a lark. I got the highest grade in my sitting!

Answer 8

What you should do is maybe talk to the counselor about getting your daughter switched classrooms. My youngest brother had this problem last year, my mom couldnt stand this teacher but if you get all in her face and everything all it will do is make is harder on your daughter. If that doesnt work, schedule a conference with this teacher and tell her your conserns as far as your daughter feels like she trys her best but its still not good enough. I feel for you and your daughter i think we've all been there at least one time in our life, i know i have! Good luck =]

Answer 9

What has the teacher said to you? Your child may be well behaved at home, but may not be at school. You need to sit down and have a talk with the teacher if you haven't already and find out what's going on and what the problem is. A lot of kids are "angels" at home, but not at school. I'm not saying that's the case here, but you need to talk to the teacher and find out.

Answer 10

You need to have a converstation with the teacher, the principle, and your child all together like a pow wow. Your child may not be telling you the whole truth. If the teacher really is singling out your child you can request to have her moved into a different classroom with a different teacher. You still need to sit down with the powers of the school and get to the bottom of the problem. It if is your child (you need to be realistic here and realise that is may just be your child) it won't change if she is moved to a different class. Communication is key.

Answer 11

Will all consideration.....no parent can 100% guaranted what their child does or doesn't do when we're not there.

If you truly think there is a problem have a meeting with the teacher & the Principal first and then bring in your daughter.

Sometimes there's a personality conflict....and that's part of life.