Do you agree that if one spouse refuses to engage in intercourse with the other that cheating is fair play?

Question

If not, should the spouse who wishes to have intercourse be denied this for his or her entire life?

Answer 1

Why would any person in their right mind refuse sex unless the relationship itself were defunct?? Just because the spouse is refusing sex doesn't mean that it will last forever...and plus if you're married and sex is causing issues of your wanting to cheat, then you didn't marry for love my friend. A marriage without sex is difficult, but can be done...Marriage is a commitment....That's when you find out what you're really made of!!

Answer 2

I would say a discussion is at hand. Both partners need to lay it all out on the line and not be afraid to discuss why he/she is feeling like they can not have intercourse w/ the other. There must be something going on i.e. not in the mood, cheating, spouse did something...etc....but a discussion will bring this all out in the open and let them (the couple) deal w/ the problem then and there. If the problem can not be fixed well then its up to the person feeling neglected what he/she needs to do. I discourage an affair, maybe seek marriage counsling or if its a HUGE deal then divorce may be the only way out. Intercourse is a natural part of a relationship and its an expression of love........

Answer 3

OF COURSE NOT! There is never a reason to cheat on someone! If you are talking about your own situation, I feel sorry for your spouse! You don't care about her feeling. YOu just want to get your jollies!

Maybe the reason for the "refusal" is because of the way the spouse is demanding it. Perhaps there are medical issues that the demanding spouse doesn't care about.

Marriage is a partnership and both should work together. Don't just go up the other person and say, "let's have sex." Have some feelings for the other person and tenderness!

BTW, if you cheat that will make the situation worse and it could mean the end of the marriage. Sex is not the the most important thing in a marriage!

Answer 4

When you're married, cheating is never okay. However, it also is not good if either (or both) of you deny each other of intercourse all the time. Have you talked to your spouse about how important it is to you? If you have, and nothing has changed, maybe you should go see a marriage counselor together. Counseling could help you work out your differences. Cheating is only going to make things worse. Even if it feels good at the time, it's only going to push you and your spouse further from each other, and leave you with a load of guilt. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

Hi...

I don't think cheating is EVER right. Even if one is physically unable due to an accident, etc., there are other things that can be done. I would think sex would be a pretty poor excuse to leave after taking the vow "thru sickness & in health...", etc.

I have never thought it's okay to cheat for ANY reason. If you just can't do w/out sex, and self stimulation or a BOB won't do the job, it's better you come to a mutual agreement that the relationship is over. Do the honorable thing and get a divorce first. Then party your fanny off if that's what you "need".

Cheating's never an answer. But then, some ppl can live with anything they do, no matter how bad it is.

Good luck

Answer 6

I don't think it gives someone the excuse to cheat just because their spouse doesn't have sex as much as they'd like.
First you need to talk with your spouse and in a caring way try to get down to the real issue. Why does she/he not interested in having sex? Talk about things, figure them out. Maybe the spouse is too tired? Lots of different reasons. Once you have talked about it, is there anything you can do about it? Marriage counseling? rekindling romance?
Then if something doesn't change, think about how it would make you feel to not have that sex the rest of your life? Do you really need it? It sounds like you do since you have thought about cheating on your spouse. So you need to do a personal inventory to see what is most important in your relationship. If sex is the biggest thing, then I really suggest you get a divorce and then you can sew your wild oats!
Until you have exhausted all the possibilities you have no right to look for someone else to fufill your needs. You need to see if there is anything you can do to help your spouse want to share that intimacy again. It takes two.
Only a pig would throw away a marriage and everything else without trying to solve any of the martial problems instead.

Answer 7

hmmmmmm, I know several married couples who have not had sex in years. One that has been married for 30 years, haven't had sex in ten and the husband roams. The wife knows and doesn't care as long as the husband is discreet and does NOTHING for her rival.

I could never live my life like that. I believe sex is a gift that God gave us to renew intimacy, release stress, show affection, create warmth and comfort between a couple.

I believe that once it's off the table, the marriage is basically null and the person who is no longer interested should leave the marriage and if not, the person who is unsatisfied should leave the marriage.

That is just my take.

Answer 8

Dear John:

Back in a gentler time, when a wife expressed a desire to stop having relations, a husband got a mistress. Quietly and discreetly, and he kept his family intact.

It was just understood that he respect her wishes, and that she would respect his needs.

Harsh words like cheating and adultery did not apply. It was simply, the way it was, and the family remained intact.

It was a quiet understanding. If you can reach this level with a spouse, then you achieve two things: Financial security and Having your needs met.

Without all the drama.

Answer 9

I'd say there is a reasonable time limit. You have to first determine why the sex is being denied. Is there a physical problem (infection, etc.)? Is the partner who wants sex being rude or disrespectful? There's many things to consider.

If one partner simply lost interest and refuses to do anything to fix the problem (medication, therapy, etc.), then it's probably a time to cut losses and file for divorce.

Answer 10

Refusal to have sex is grounds for abolishment of the marriage or whatever its called if you read up on the Bible. If your not christian, you can sue your wife for refusal of services rendered or something similar, i've forgotten the exact term. I heard it on the news when some guy got a divorce, his wife refused to put out for 7 years and he ended up getting something about equal to 7 years of his salary in return. When you marry you agree to give your husband sole rights to your sexual services, and vice versa. You cannot simply take that away without violating the contract of marriage.
Keeping that in mind.... theres NO way the courts are going to say that any given denial is grounds for such an event. For instance, sickness, normal cycle issues, you being an ****** to her, are genereally accepted as reasonable excuses as to why she neednt put out. But beyond that, it is reasonable for a husband to expect sex at least once per week, less than that is actually classified as spousal abuse, if the other souse thinks he/she is being mistreated AND has talked to the spouse about it AND the problem persists.