Poem-Is this a poem? If so, is it any good? Please rate it. Be blunt & honest about what you think. Thanks.?

Question

What is love?
That you are so fond of. .

What is life?
That makes it worth living. .

What is experience?
Compared with age. .

Hurt and pain,
Have filled my days,

Finding my smile,
Like sunshine,
At the end of each day,
The sun sets,

Night comes,
Joy & laughter,
Taken with the day,
Lost in the night,

The sun shines,
For one day,
Then vanishes,

As the seasons,
summer is here,
Winter freezes it over,

What is life?
All comes to an end,
The season leaves,
The sun goes down,

What is meant to last?
You can take the physical,
From within my grasp,
You can bind my soul,
Break my spirit,
Destroy my will,
that says live, breath,
Find a reason to be brutal,
Destory the strings of my heart,

enemy so free and strong,
In the end,
I'm not bound,
by sorrow nor grief,

Alive in my mind,
As sprinkles of rain,
admist a drout,
My mind,
Freedom of thought.

Freedom to believe in times,
Times that came and are now gone,
Times I laughed,
Times I loved,
Times I lived.

In the end what will you do with that?

Answer 1

Absolutely this is a poem and it is very thought provoking.

Answer 2

Hello,

Well you asked for blunt and honest:

It is a poem. It has elements that could be good. I think it needs more imagery. It probably also needs to be focused more to increase impact. I'm not sure the rhetorical questions are helping you. Maybe a bit more tightening.

Example (you could start here):


Smile like sunshine,
At the end of each day.

The sun shines,
For one day then vanishes,

Summer is here,
Winter freezes it over

Not even saying this is the only way. I just think you can make your transitions with fewer words, and get the same points across. The points work better through the imagery you've set up--not as statements surrounding the imagery.

I hope that helps in some way. If it doesn't please ignore it.

Best,

Todd

Answer 3

That is definately a poem. It started off one way and had a different middle and the ending seemed to reflect the beginning but not a lot. There is no rule that it should all be a certain way but it reads better if you write it that way. Anyway, it's good.

Answer 4

honey its more kind of prose than a poem but in these days anything goes so yes, you can say its poetic. (Look at Shakespeare, he broke all the rules) Its shows a lot of feeling and does not quite make sense in places, but then it does not have to. It has good ideas and word pictures in it and If I were you I would write a lot more . You obviously have a talent. Keep it up.x

Answer 5

I thought this was very good word choice you have a great talent. But I also felt that there was not any flow between the begining and end. maybe less rhyming and more figurative language like hyperboles alliteration ect...
Hope this helped!
-M.Z.

Answer 6

hmm yes it has the potential to be good. make the sentances a bit longer.... like "alive in my mind, As sprinkles of rain" was put on two lines... make that one... other wise its hard to pay full attention to and understand completely and take in what is being said. some of the things on here are really good and in depth, deep feeling aswell.

well done to you :)

Answer 7

It's well written and everything, but I find it depressing. However such is only my opinion. I am not the best person to judge poetry though. But in the end I like it

Answer 8

Of course it's a poem!!! Poems dont have to rhyme do they have to have words and be in stanzas which they are.. BTW it's wonderful!!! You should think about going public with ur work!!! KUDOS!!! Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

I'm a poetry writer myself and I love the poem. Vey nice. You should write more then have them published.

Answer 10

Thats a pretty ***** emo poem tbh.