I have been with living with my fiance for over a year. Our relationship has been becoming more volatile. We have been fighting &threatening one another with leaving &hitting one another. Recently it got to the point that I spilled my heart out & he was mad over something I did (I kicked him out of our hotel room after he left me on the street by myself, drank with his friends for two hours, I then physically kicked and pushed him off the bed & told him to leave me alone). As usual he stated he didn't know if he could ever get over this and that he was over me & our relationship. he is a cruel person & will say horribly cruel things to make me "hurt as much as he is" &will yell, cuss & break things around me. After being yelled at & told "I don't care what you do" I moved out to get space. I still love him & feel counseling & healing will help us. but he has not called me. It's been a week. how much time do i give without calling & seeing where we are at? Or is it over?
2007-10-29 09:10:08 · 9 answers · asked by Mikey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to hope it is over. You will hurt. Jeez ........read this like you were one of us. This looks like a train wreck.
The Brightside is you are not married. You will hurt but remember the fights and his bad attitude. You will be better off if you move on.
2007-10-29 09:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Opps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is easy to appear cruel when we strike back verbally at the person who has hurt us. Whenever a couple do not have the proper skills to resolve conflict the frustration of feeling misunderstood can lead to feelings of anger. With out the patience and understanding that comes with being able to compromise a relationship can destroy itself with displays of disrespect and vengeance. If you feel that he is a basic good guy but just lacks in how to resolve conflict, then by all means I feel you both can benefit from counselling. Just know, counselling only works when two people go in with an open mind and a willingness to make it work. Best of luck to you both!
2007-10-29 16:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was recently in a similar situation and just from experience even though you love him I think it's over. It sounds like the respect that is required in a realtionship is gone...and once that's gone so is the relationship. Don't make the same mistake that I did and hold on longre than you should..you'll only waste precious moments that you could be using to move on.
2007-10-29 16:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by HUh?!? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always think of love as a safe, gentle place where there is mutual respect. A person who yells, curses, throws things and threatens to beat me up is not on my short list of someone I would intend to marry. How long do you give him to call you? How about a lifetime. You'd better hope it's over for your well-being. Go to a website about Nicole Brown Simpson and refresh your memory about what happens to someone who marries an abusive man.
2007-10-29 16:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be glad that you found these things out about him before you were married. He wants to control you and is waiting for you to call him but let him wait and find someone more in tune with what you want in a relationship. If he loved you, he would have called by now.
2007-10-29 16:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's not over it should be. I am sorry but this relationship sounds very unhealthy. Hitting and cussing each other out? Does that sound like love to you? You need to think about you and what you deserve. Let go, sounds like he has anyway!
2007-10-29 16:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he has come to terms with the fact you are gone. Maybe it's time to move on.
2007-10-29 16:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by diablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like its over, no call in a week. Maybe you should call him and see whats up
2007-10-29 16:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by sarah W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I strongly suggest you stop smoking crack and seek the psychological help you clearly need!
Good luck!
2007-10-29 16:14:34 · answer #9 · answered by Smooth Lyrics II 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋