mother-in-law problems.......?

Question

here it goes....
-my mother-in-law( mil) just retired and has a loads of free time.
- as she has free time she invites her family every weekend on friday night, saturday whole day and sunday whole day
- and as the house is small me and my hubby have no privacy..we both work 5 days a week and r tired and look forward to the weekends to spend together but we can't.
-bottom line we both r tired of her family coming over and disturbing our lives. my father-in-law hates that too.
plus, she just sits there and talks and i have to do all the work..cook, clean, make coffee and entertain them.
WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP THAT?
the problem is that we live in their house because they asked us too.( my hubby is a doctor and we can afford our own house!) but "they will be lonely and they r old", says my sister in law who has to interfere in everything..and when they get old doesn't want to share the responsibilty with us. So this is why just to take care of them we live with them but contribute $3000 eve

every month plus take them out to eat once a week...........how can i ask her to stop the partying?
also, she never likes it when me and my hubby go out to have fun....she gets upset like a small kid.
what do i do?

Answer 1

This is her house and she can do what she likes in it. Why are you and doctor hubby really living with mommy and daddy? If you can give them $3000 a month, you can certainly afford an apartment. Start looking for one today. I think your hubby is the problem, not his mom. he sounds a little too tied up in the apron strings.

Answer 2

You have the exact same problem i just got rid of. You have to be very straight forward with your problems, and make sure they know how you really feel about this situation. I think you should move, I did and it's the best thing me and my partner could of done. Your mother in law is married so it won't be a case of loneliness at all you need your own life and privacy. If your sister in law is so worried about the situation why don't you tell her to move in and keep them company.

As you said you need and love your privacy and alone time with your partner, you have to leave and live your own life. Stop worrying about theirs sweetheart you just need to go.
Don't leave this any longer, the longer you leave it you might just find yourself drifting away from your husband. With no time for each other and your mil being jealous when you go out, you will not be able to handle it.

I hope you listen to these words, your life will be so much better and happier if you leave asap.

Take care if you need any help e-mail me.

Kristy. L.

Answer 3

I would think if your husband is a doctor, and you can afford your own home that it is very strange you are living with your in laws because there old and lonely. Apparently, you have not spoken to your mother in law because lonely people are not parting every weekend. Move out and get your own place then you will not have these issues. You can still see your in laws and go out to dinner. You sound ridiculous.

Answer 4

Honey - the only answer to this is really to move out and get your own place. This is not good for your marriage. You and your husband have a right to your privacy. In the meantime - I would be taking small weekend trips with my husband if I were you - even if it is to the hotel down the street. If she gets mad it is really too bad, you are going way above what you should be doing. This is crazy. I understand that she likes her family to be together, but she is taking advantage of you and your husband. Good luck and put your foot down!!

Answer 5

WHOA!!! How did you ever get in such a mess? Get a place of your own, even if it's a tent in the woods. Your in-laws may be lovely people but if you want to keep your husband, go somewhere that is just for the two of you. If your sister-in-law worries about them being lonely and old, suggest she move in with them.

Answer 6

even though u live there and help out financially, bottom line is ..its not your house. its your in-laws house. she can entertain whomever she wishes.

if you and your husband want privacy, you need to move out into your own place.

as for them being old ...she sounds young at heart and likes to entertain..she prolly has a quite a few more years left.

so for now move out..enjoy your life, and when the time comes that you actually HAVE to take care of your older in-laws, you wont be so frazzled.

good luck

Answer 7

Talk to your husband and make it very clear to him that you can't handle this and if he doesn't talk to her you will.

When someone talks to her, it should be put kindly (assume that she doesn't know she's being a pain) and just tell her that you love to see her family, but could they maybe come once a month instead of every weekend?

If that doesn't work then your husband (not you) needs to tell her that you guys are going to find your own place so she has more room, since she obviously needs it for her frequent houseguests.

Answer 8

Step 1: Move out. A married couple deserves their own space. But it won't stop there, since this is your mother-in-law, your husband will have to be in your corner and he'll have to enforce the boundaries. If both of you are saying the same thing - give us space - there is little they can do, except complain. Which they will.

Answer 9

You have to move out. It's her house. If you want privacy, you need your own house. I understand MIL problems - OH BELIEVE ME I DO - but if you're living there, what do you expect? Get your own place, visit her a few times a month and be satisfied. You cannot be expected to have respect from her if you're not showing you're entirely self-sufficient and capable of making your own decisions.

Answer 10

I definitely think that you should move out. You know that the bible says that your kids aren't yours to keep, there just borrowed. This is exactly what your in-laws need to realize. Yes, she is old, but you two are married now. They had the opportunity to start their own lives now it's your turn. just because you and your hubby move out doesn't mean that you will never see them. I mean you need your own privacy. Ya'll need to experience what's it like walking around your own house with clothes, in underwear, or just naked. LOL. I know that he's her son but you have to cut that umbilical cord.