torn over a potential employee?

Question

i had to interview 3 people for a job today, i work in entertainment and i have been looking for someone who can sing, has a car, responsible and who knew the job inside and out, anyway, i auditioned the first 2 girls and said i would call them back when i decide, they were both very good, the third girl came in and i recognised her straight away, she was my bully from school who put me through a horrible time, it affected my school work and and she literally had my nerves on edge, i don't think she realised who i was, but i knew her face straight away, anyway,she is a very good singer, she knows the job and she has all the qualifications that i was looking for, what do i do? i would never mention the bullying to her until she clicks on to who i am, then i would leave it down to her to talk about it first, she is very good, should i give her the job? the bullying is water under the bridge as far as i'm concerned, i have moved on, but i really don't know what to do...help?

i am going back a few years here, this was when i was in my teens, mid 70's early 80's....she may have grown up alot since then, (i know, no excuses) she is the same age as me now...but i am so torn about my decision, what do i do?

Grammar lessons? hahaha...(think)....shut up if you cannot answer my question with a decent comment....

Fonz, it is my company,

Daisy i see what your saying but seriously, i wouldn't stoop so low, this is business, not pay back time, i'm serious about my work, but she was better than the other 2, but the other 2 were really good maybe i should go and have a long think first before i make any moves...

Rick, it is water under the bridge, that's a dead cert, i would never bring it up, it's jus that when saw her, i got them memories come flashing back for a moment, my life has moved on since then, i just feel torn about the situation

my heart tells me to give her the job but i worry about any discomfort when she realises who i am, yes we all deserve a secnd chance and i am a forgiving person..

update: since interviewing all 3 girls, i called girl 3 and said that she had the job, she said she recognised me from school and literally told me to shove the job up my @ss because she's not having the "likes of me" lording it over her, so she saved me from a difficult decision, it's obvious that leopards NEVER change their spots and she's still the nasty person she was back then...thankyou for all your answers, they did help....i gave girl No2 the job so she starts this Friday....

Answer 1

hire her...tell her she was your bully...then fire the damn bytch...lol

Tats if its water under the bridge it still wouldn't be affecting you decision today....
If she was that good then hire her...but keep in mind if she was a bully once and affected you that badly then could/would she do it again...(or would you just punch her lights out if she tried)....she may even start to bully others in your employ...once a bully always a bully in my books.

id carry on auditioning or chose from the other 2.
best of luck twinkle pants.
razz

Answer 2

This is a difficult choice to make however I do run my own business too and you have to employ someone who is right for the job no matter what as it is your reputation that will be going forward.
Many years ago I met up with my school bully and it was in one way very hard as all those memories flooded back however it was also rewarding as I had made a good career for myself and I now had to teach her!!!!!!
I did my job and she was not the same person she use to be she was more mature and considerate.
You have to keep this professional if she was the best candidate by a long chalk then you need to employ her. To be honest she will not say anything as what they did in school was a long time ago and if she does say anything it would be more along the line of "Remember old Mrs so and so what a crap teacher"

Answer 3

This situation illustrates perfectly for me why bullying should never be tolerated in school. One child's fun becomes another person's lifetime of misery, with repercussions even decades later on a person's self-esteem.

The fact that she makes you so very uncomfortable even now suggests that it may have been quite nasty bullying, which you will find it difficult to overcome in your working relationship.

In your shoes I would say that you think she would be difficult to work with, which she may well still be for all you know.

Even if you say this is water under the bridge, the very fact that you are asking this question here suggests that it is not resolved and could cause problems later.

Unless you are a really confident secure person now I would recommend not hiring her.

Answer 4

firstly - you say that this is all water under the bridge.. and yet you remembered her straight away.
secondly.. you are having doubts, even though you've already said that this person who bullied you is the ideal candidate.

this all says to me that this is all still fresh and that you still haven't got over it. however, remember this, it was you that was doing the hiring, therefore you should feel more in control of the situation.

if you still feel bad about it all, then I'd carry on looking and interview some more potential candidates. if you do think you have moved on, then good for you.. but now is the test.. it's time to face your demons and if they are the best candidate. give them the job.

it might be that they did recognise you and may feel ashamed or embarrassed about what happened.. and they may also be waiting for the opportunity to be able to apologise ?

you won't know until the subject is brought up.

good luck, with what ever you decide.

Answer 5

If she is the best of the three hire her at least this will give chance to see waht a successful lady you have become and rejecting just for what happened when you were kids is a bit silly although I do understand it as I was also bullied. However if either of the other two was equally as good or better choose one of them and make sure you personally phone up to tell the bully she didnt get the job :) .

Answer 6

If she was the best one for the job and your still not sure you want to give it to her, id say it isnt water under the bridge and it would make for a bad situation IMO.

To be honest, I dont think there is any better way to slap a bully in the face than being you are the one hiring her.

Answer 7

I don't think you would have posted this question if you were truly over it and it was water under the bridge. You'll probably never truly forget about it and it will come back to haunt you by affecting the work relationship and environment negatively. Pick one of the first two and do not dwell over whether you were fair. Life's not fair. But it's not worth being uncomfortable, even if she never remembers and you are the only one suffering.

Answer 8

The thing with bullies is they are generally the ones who forget what they've done to others in the past and how miserable their victims life's were made, I honestly think if she is the best person for the job then you should give it to her, your a good person and I am sure your not going to let someone who is the best person for the job slip away, hope things work out for you.

Answer 9

Tats that's a hard choice to have to face.

I think, you, as the better person, give her the job if she's the best one.
At the end of the day you've obviously got on in your career to be interviewing people for the job, let that be a source of comfort or gloating?, whereas she's looking for work.

You never know if she does recognise you and apologise for her behaviour in school it may lay to rest some ghosts.

Answer 10

Your employed by your company to produce results for them. in this case that includes hiring the best people that you can find for the job in question. You have no right to settle old or even current personal disputes through the company. Your responsible to do the best for your company so clear your head and focus on the job at hand.