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and i haven't told anyone except for one person. how can i tell my parents and my close friends about me being bi.?

2007-10-29 08:33:29 · 42 answers · asked by cassandra59 2 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

i can easily say that, but i'm worried how they'll react.

2007-10-29 08:38:06 · update #1

42 answers

This is tough, but not impossible. I know you're scared. Although I'm straight, I have more than a few gay and bi friends who went through this.

Let's deal with your parents first. It seems like you are at least fairly intent on "coming out". Be direct. Decide on your moment, which is best when they can focus on what you are telling them with a minimum of distraction. Don't call them at work. And don't do it when they're under enormous amounts of stress either. Remember that they may go through a whole series of emotions ranging from sadness to anger to frustration to self-criticism. None of this is your fault. They are just processing a very big piece of information, and they may need a little time to adjust. If they are loving parents that are in tune with the modern world, things should slowly but steadily settle into place. And all will be well. In the end, they will be thankful that you were honest and proud that you were brave enough to speak up.

As for your friends, just TELL THEM. If they're your true friends, they will accept you. Again, they may go through a few emotions. Especially if you've been friends for a very long time. Give them a day or two to sort it out if necessary. (Although to be quite honest, a very good friend will be there for you RIGHT AWAY.) But remember that they too are processing a big piece of information. Ideally, they'll accept it right away and be your source of support throughout this time.

Be careful with anyone who may try to "convert" you to straight. Although some of your loved ones may experience a bit of denial, which is normal, they must fairly quickly accept this as the truth. (I say this with the assumption that you are already absolutely sure that you're bi.) Don't let people scare you or bully you into being something that you're not. You will only be lying to yourself and creating a whole other set of issues to deal with.

Lastly, get in touch with a gay/bi support group. You can find these online or in a phone directory.

Be brave. Be honest. And best of luck.

2007-10-29 09:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 2

First, I would say that if you are under 18 I would wait a little bit to come out to your parents. Not because its bad to be bisexual (im a lesbian so who am i to talk) but you need to be 100% sure before you tell your parents. If yo uwere to tell your parents now, depending on their views on homosexuality, they may put you on a shorter leash or be very cautious when you have sleepovers or want to hang out with certain people. I would wait until you have a girlfriend (if you find a girl you want to have a relationship with) who you can see yourself with for a while before you tell your parents. Parents want whats best for their children and whats easiest for their children and their generation sees bisexuality/homsexuality as basically one in the same and their views on it are usually much more convervative than our generations'. As for your friends that is much different. Your friends do not NEEd to know what your sexuality is. That is your business. However, if you find someone you like you shouldnt have to hide it from your friends. Tell a few of your closest friends first..and in person...and know that this could potentially be great gossip for certain *** holes. Good luck though. You will figure it out and it gets much easier as you get older. I promise.

2007-10-29 09:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by kissyourself 2 · 0 1

Stick Up For Your-Self And Stand Up And Say Mum,Dad Im A Bi And Hope-Fully They Won't
Say WHAT!! For your Friends Say It Like U Said It To Your Ma And Pa So Think Straight And Speak Up

2007-10-29 08:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I didn't come out to my folks until it became neccessary.
And by that, I mean, I was in a serious relationship with a man. I felt it important that if he was a part of my life, he would have to be a part of my family life as well.

Your situation is unique, in that, there is a possibility that, whatever relationship you get in could be a heterosexual one.

If you really feel it important to come out to your folks, that's you, and that's good.. Just tell them, but, it's kind of weird just to say "mom, dad, I'm a bisexual".. my personal belief is that, there needs to be a reason for me to tell someone.

of course, prepairing them now would make it easier in the long run.

2007-10-29 08:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by centexdance 3 · 0 0

I'm sure that they will understand, it's okay! They might be a bit shocked, but, if they don't like it, they obviously aren't good friends and you should find new ones who accept you for who you are. Like, if you just blurt it out, they might say something like "Ew, cut it out. That's gross." or something else offensive. Look them straight in the eye and say things like "I'm only telling you this because you are my best friend. I think it's time that you learn something important about me.." It may save you a lot of hurtful things. It depends on what you friends are like how they will react. Good luck! We need more brave people like you!

2007-10-29 08:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I don't know, are you? if you're and you want to tell your family. just go home and tell them to sit down that you have something to said to them. Mom, Dad, recently I have found someone about myself that I was shock but I have come to term with and I hope that you try to understand and do the same. That your little girl is Bi-sexual.

2007-10-29 08:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0 1

Why do you feel the need to tell anyone anything? It's none of their business unless you want to fool around with a friend. Then it's their business. I believe all of us have at least a potential of being bisexual. Some more then others...but the potential is still there.

So you want to be able to enjoy relationships with men and women. Why label yourself anything??

2007-10-29 08:42:40 · answer #7 · answered by tjusa2000 3 · 0 1

Think about bit really hard and determine if you really need to tell anyone. Analyze yourself. Are you inclined more one way than the other? Do you still think about get married and raising a family? Think about it, as there are just some things that is not anyone's business but yours.

2007-10-29 08:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kalyfran 5 · 0 1

im not bi, but if i was in the same cituation, if you are not comfortable telling any1, then dont, they will find out adventualy...now these days alot are very not understandble...u might regret it if you do tell them,, but then again it could turn out to be something good...go with ur instinks...plus you know ur parents more than anybody..if u know they will give u a dipressing feedback then dont tell them...im not sure how old u are...but if you are young then dont worry about it...wait till u get older to see if thats what you realy want...but either way..good luck with everything

2007-10-29 08:38:39 · answer #9 · answered by April 2 · 0 1

i know exactly how you feel. (im lesbian) and i had the hardest time telling my parents. before then i only told one girl that is a lesbian also. i thought that my parents were going to like disown me or hate me. i defiantly didn't expect anything better. and i told them at dinner. i didnt eat any of my food so they asked me what was wrong. i just came out. "im a lesbian, i date girls, and i dont think this is a phase." and they were completely cool with it and they loved me even if i was a lesbian.

and straight people have no idea what its like to come out.

2007-10-29 09:40:30 · answer #10 · answered by ♫♪sara♪♫ 3 · 0 0

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