I'm a quite person and likes to listen to people success or frustrations. Most of the time i listen than talking. I just keep on observing and keeping things that i know to myself all the time. I don't like to brag about anything about me. But it seems that whenever I do something or acheive things that my friends were not expecting I can do it seems like they are not happy for me. And it always happens like this. it just like people can't just be happy for my "success". I don't know if they are jealous or undermining my capabilities so when i do something that they dont expect they are not happy for me.. Or maybe im wrong I don't know...
2007-10-29 08:25:29 · 12 answers · asked by sydney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No - you're not wrong. My friends and I are very similar to your situation. Because we have taken this role as "counselor" - we are here merely to satisfy others, so it may seem. And because we are generally quiet - they are not known to every rise and fall of our lives - like we are of theirs. Therefore they are not sure whether our "success" is really a success or not or whether it should be valued/praised by them. I wouldn't say it is a fact of jealousy - just that they don't know how to handle the situation. That is another point to make - since we listen and react to their lives - we have higher expectations of praise -- so they may be acknowledging/praising you - it's just not in a big way.
Stay positive -- you will soon notice that only your true friends acknowledge and value you as much as you do them.
2007-10-29 08:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there may be more to it than just your success. Most people out there are so focused on their own successes or shortcomings that they can't stand to have the focus taken off of themselves. From the type of friend you sound like chances are that you have led many to have the expectation of you will put their interests first at all times and they needn't worry about you because of how strong and secure you seem to be in helping them with their problems all the time. So when you do have success that you share with them it causes a kind of resentment, that you being so secure and seemingly all knowing plus you're excelling in other areas.
They don't mean it to hurt you, it's more that they have their own insecurities that they're fighting. Some people can't be happy for others.
2007-10-29 08:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by Tyler K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect to be congratulated for success. Let success be it's own reward, so to speak. Then, maybe it'll be less disappointing.
I can give you an example of something similar to what you describe. When my gal and I were moving out, I recall her mom always making comments like, "you guys are SO lucky, you have such nice things", etc., etc. No recognition that we SAVED our money, and that we DIDN'T get pregnant and have to married and start out behind in life. We PLANNED. Yet, there was no recognition of it...to her it was all "luck".
What I learned from that experience is that if you rely on others to validate your success...then you may be waiting a while for validation. If your friends don't seem happy...be happy for yourself. Don't brag about it...just be happy and content...and find someone special, like you, that you can share it with. That's all you'll need. And, that way, when someone DOES notice, and congratulate you...you'll really have a nice surprise!
2007-10-29 08:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Night Owl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that your friends don't seem happy for you when something happens because you never react to their success. You say you always listen to them but it seems like you never respond to anything they do or say. Maybe if you tried showing some support, they will do the same for you.
2007-10-29 08:30:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't always expect others to be happy for our achievements, we'd like them to, but we are not responsible for what they do, only for what we do. If you are happy with the things you've accomplished, then hold your head up high and continue doing what you've always done. I know you said that you listen to their successes, but have you ever complimented them on their successes? Be an encouragement to their endeavors and you may find that they will do the same for you. God bless you!!!
2007-10-29 08:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when other people see success it forces them to see their own inadequacies. So they do 1 of 2 things.. they are happy for you or they are mean about it, making you feel bad for your own successes.
Recognize who is genuinely happy for you and consider them your friends, others consider them as acquaintances.
2007-10-29 08:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends should be happy for your success. If they "fake" it, then they might just be taking advantage of your thereputic listening, and they dont really care about you. Its time to really find out who your true friends are.
2007-10-29 08:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by chevalrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you care to much about what others think about you....just be yourself and your success in life is not determined by what your friends think of you. Maybe it is the way you word it to them...
2007-10-29 08:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by downbeatitalian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things that one does for another, or themselves, should come from the heart. It's o.k. to do things for self gain. When your friends achieve a goal, why do you stay silent? Praise in public, criticize in private!
2007-10-29 08:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by david 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
real friends should always b happy for you...so maybe they are not real friends
2007-10-29 08:35:27 · answer #10 · answered by caramel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋