It all came to a head about a years ago my wife was out of town and I was looking at porn. Im certanly not unfamiliar with porn and have looked at it off and on throughout my marrage but I wouldnt say that Im an addict or anything. long story short she found out and got really pissed. We delt with it and I appologized and commited not to do it anymore which is fine. its been about a year since the last time and to this day I still here about it, get ignored over it and am beriated over it so much so that she recently went out of town and when she came home she accused me of cheating(which I never have or been close to) and looking at porn. when I told here I didnt she started looking through my dirty clothes and going ape **** on the computer trying to prove I did. Im just getting tired of hearing about what a lier and cheater I am it seems no matter what I do I cant win. this seems unreasonable to me and dont know how to deal with it anymore. HELP!!!!!
2007-10-29 07:50:37 · 12 answers · asked by LeviS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would calmly tell her this: "I haven't looked at porn for a year, because you asked me not to. However, you continue to accuse me of doing so. In other words, despite my doing you this personal favor, you are giving me no credit. Therefore, there is absolutely no payoff for me to refrain from looking at porn. If I look at porn, I will be accused of looking at it, and if I don't look at it, I am still being accused of it. I hereby retract my promise not to look at porn. From here on out, I will look at porn whenever I wish. As for me cheating, I will not even justify that silliness with a response."
2007-10-29 08:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pornography can really damage a marriage. Women tend to take it very personal and it affects their self esteem. Women will start to feel like you don't want them or that you are not attracted to them. These feelings keep getting worse and although you hae stopped looking at porn, she still thinks you are. She needs to deal with her insecurities and try to move on from this but you can also try to be understanding about how she is feeling. I think that marriage counseling would be a good thing for you.
2007-10-29 15:08:48 · answer #2 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, looking at porn and cheating are two TOTALLY different things. But that's just my personal opinion.
It sounds to me like one of two things is going on here. Either your wife is extremely insecure, or she is cheating herself. Either way, two things are certain. First, the way she is treating you is way more controlling than loving, and second, there are definately some major trust issues going on here.
You should sit her down and explan to her that if you didn't want to be with her, you wouldn't be. Try to help her work through her issues. If that still doesn't work, either seek counseling or get out, because if things remain as they are you are in for years of unhappiness.
Good luck!
2007-10-29 15:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. Listen. All guys look at porn. All of them. If a woman wants a guy who doesn't look she's going to end up married to a liar.
I know you want to keep the peace but don't let her beat you up over looking, and definitely not if you didn't even look.
2007-10-29 14:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by Duck! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about counseling. You've both got issues to work through. It couldn't hurt to get help, obviously you're not doing so well on your own!
2007-10-29 15:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short of smothering her with a pillow some night.....start making plans to leave. I mean...who needs this aggravation anyway?
2007-10-29 15:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes cheating when she goes out of town my husband used to accuse me when it was him.
2007-10-29 15:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling with out her if necessary.
2007-10-29 18:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds insecure
have ye tried counseling?
if that dont work then maybe you guys wont work. she has issues she needs to deal with
2007-10-29 14:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HER SHE IS GONNA HAVE TO GET OVER IT. HAVEN'T YOU PROVEN IN THIS LAST YEAR THAT YOU WERE HONEST IN SAYING THAT YOU WERE FINISHED WITH THAT? IF SHE CAN'T GET OVER IT WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE YOUR MARRIAGE??
2007-10-29 14:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by wenwen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋