I just don't get this - you have your entire adult life ahead of you and you've cut out all future experiences by at least 1/2, probably more. I mean, if that's what you really wanna do, more power to you. You're an adult and can make whatever decision re: yourself that you'd like. But I just do not understand it and cannot think of a single good reason to go through with this.
And what's worse is when someone will marry the first (and only) person they've had sex with. That just... it almost makes me feel sorry for them, in a way.
Thanks.
2007-10-29 05:30:38 · 27 answers · asked by Brandon's been a dirty Hore 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
True, Valerie, but I know people that were getting great advice from older relatives (mostly) and just did not want any part of hearing it. I just shake my head.
2007-10-29 05:36:27 · update #1
Oh, lemme add that no children would be involved in this hypothetical situation.
2007-10-29 05:37:01 · update #2
Pumpkin: That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I don't want to have to run all of my daily decisions through another person, to get their "okay". Especially at such a young age, when I should be having fun and not having to deal with un-needed stress.
2007-10-29 05:38:54 · update #3
Tootsie: Uh, actually it was a question. And I find it ironic that you describe it as 'retarded' and then end your little spiel with a "your welcome".
2007-10-29 05:47:01 · update #4
It works for some people, doesn't for others.
No need to knock it.
And just because you get married doesn''t mean you can't dot eh things you want in life- it just means you have to think of someone other than yourself.
2007-10-29 05:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can get married at 18, but I can see why your parents don't accept him, he is at least 10 years older than you, and you are still a minor, until you turn 18. So, what your boyfriend is doing is commiting a crime, and you are wondering why your parents don't like him, I think its obvious. Plus, I am sure your parents want you to go to college. Plus, you are too young to get married. It won't last. All he is seeing is the hotter young chick. He can't get a girl his own age or at least legal, so that says alot about him. You should wait until you are at least 21. Make sure he is the right one. It woldn't look good being divorced at 20 with two kids.
2016-04-11 00:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I see what you are saying however I don't think age really matters, I thik experience does. Live with the person first, and see if that is what you want before getig married. Me and my wife lived together for 2 years. We also had both had sexual partners previously and discussed our experiences openly. I think you need to lay everything on the table. If you can put up with each other and are made for each other, you may want to get married. The truth is we were commited to each other before we were married and only did it for the ceremony (the gifts were a nice touch too). We have been married 7 years very happily and I did get married at 21 so I wasn't that old. I would also suggest people wait on having kids. We waited until 2 years ago and it definately has made us better parents and it is easier. We don't feel we are missing out now. We did the things we wanted to do and were ready to settle down some. Sow your wild oats first people, trust me.
2007-10-29 09:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you can't have those life experiences after you are married. While I agree *most* people are not ready for marriage at 18, some people are better equipped to marry younger. I was barely 20 when I got married, my hubby was 22. It was the right thing for us. We both have finished school. My husband has a graduate degree, we have 3 kids and we're happy. We've been married for almost 8 years. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. And we were eachother's firsts and onlys as far as sex goes. No regrets there either. I don't see why that makes a difference. If I am missing out on anything sexually, I don't know about it and frankly, I don't care. I'm quite happy in that regard as well.
I think it's more of a maturity and priority issue than an age issue. My priorities in life were family first, everything else kind of goes behind that. With that as my first priority, why wouldn't I want to be married young? And we did plenty of things after we were married before the kids came. We traveled, we got educations, we dated eachother (yes, you can do that after marriage) we had fun and we enjoyed eachother.
I'm just curious what experiences you think I have missed out on? Everything I want or wanted to do, I can do with my husband and that makes it better.
You can feel sorry for me if you like. That's fine. But that would be based more on your own perceptions rather than whether or not there's truly anything to feel sorry for.
2007-10-29 06:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by gumby 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wanted to get married when i was 18. But then circumstances preceeded it, and I'm glad I changed my mind.
lol. And it wasn't the first or only person I had sex with either.
I really loved that guy. We'd been together for a year and a half by the time we were close to the date we picked(no lie, we picked a day and everything). It's just I realized I had some unresolved feelings for someone else...and yeah here I am today! Ain't it great?
I'm not knocking anyone that wants to get married at 18, I'm just not sure it's smart in most cases. However, there are some people who are gonna be together forever, and they're just waiting for the legal okay, but those are few and far between.
2007-10-29 05:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do I agree with you, some one should seriously smack some of these "kids" up the side of the head. A read through these forums on any given day should be more than enough to make you think twice. They do have their whole lives ahead, the question seems to be do they want some divorce and children in bad situations and some cheating and abuse etc all in their lives as well before they are 25. The answer seems to be a resounding yes, and will it change "doubt it".
2007-10-29 05:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by Diamond Dogs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the want to marry coincides with turning 18 for many people because for the first time in their life they can take a decision which would be legal...
Wanting to marry is basically a want for a family of one's own and in the teen ages when one's feeling resentful twards one's family for being tough (though no fault of the family here) one thinks that marriage will solve their need for attention form an understanding person....
But i really think that the last line about marrying the first person you have sex with being sad is really uncaring about sentiments of fellow people.... I know of many who were virgins till they got married .
2007-10-29 05:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by raywillshout 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Honcho
I married my husband when I was 19, he was 40. We'd known each other for 13 months and have now been married for 21 years.
We have the most fantastic time together, we love each other to bits and can't imagine being with anyone else.
He wasn't my first man (by a long way . . .) so I wasn't going in blind. All my relatives (bar none) advised me against it. We also knew we couldn't have kids naturally (he's had the snip), and in fact don't have kids.
He is my soulmate, my 'half an orange' (as they say here in Spain).
And they said it would never last . . .
Cheers
Grotty
EDIT:
Except just recently I have been having lustful thoughts about the handsome hunk above me . . . ((((NOLTE))))
2007-10-29 05:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by Grotty Bodkin is not dead!!! 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I felt like marrying my first when I was that age. With all those raging hormones, teenagers end up being much more emotional rather than logical in their thinking. They don't see it as their whole life ahead of them. They see the here and now and want to pursue that alone. Lucky for me that I caught her cheating and broke up with her. I then stepped into a whole new world of opportunity. Best thing that happened to me in my early adult years.
2007-10-29 05:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life doesnt seem to get better when youre 18, it almost seems scary so they tend to hang on to a life raft if you will just to feel they are not going at it alone. ALL my freinds got married at that age and now they are pretty unhappy especially since they didnt get to do what I got to do and all they do is look at their children and say "well, my kids are worth it." Uh huh....sure. My kids will be worth it when I have some great F'n stories to tell them about the times I did this and did that and can finacially take care if their little asses and offer them some awesome insights into their futures to come. So anyway...yeah, 18 years olds are just scared little punks
2007-10-29 05:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well i guess you can look at the situation your way OR look at it in another their lucky they found the person they want to spend the rest of their life together many ppl look for that one person all their lives and never find it and if their happy you should also be for them. I see nothing wrong with that i personally will not marry my 18 yr. bf but all of us are different, so with that said i think you should just let them live and if they do realize they made a mistake later on you can be that person that says the wonderful words: I told you so.... :)
2007-10-29 05:41:59 · answer #11 · answered by JUANA 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋