My son is a 16-year-old Junior in high school. His boyfriend is a senior. They are both great, GREAT kids and I really love his boyfriend like he was my own kid... Here's the deal... It came time for my son to get a class ring. I told him he could either get a nice expensive one for himself, or TWO rings, more inexpensive, but still very nice, and one also for his boyfriend. I thought this would be a really nice gesture from he to his boyfriend and they could exchange rings, kind of a symbol of sorts between the two of them... Keep in mind, these two are very much in love and are very, very committed to each other... yes, even at this young age.. My son was VERY happy with this and designed both rings to his liking... the "problem" is, I've gotten SO much flak from my mother and others, saying this is "unheard of" and just really beating me down about this, saying I'm "promoting it"..???? WTH? Rings will arrive on 11/20.. what's your opinion? Am I a weird mom???
2007-10-29 04:40:48 · 30 answers · asked by Mercedes 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just to add... His friend cannot afford a class ring and finances are tight on my end also, but I used a payment plan for the extra ring... So it's not like his mom would be able to buy him one... His friend's father was killed in an auto accident when he was seven so she has no financial help... Just an FYI why I thought it would be OK to get this for him... If he already had one or had plans to get one I would not have considered it... because I would not want to offend his mom..
2007-10-29 04:44:00 · update #1
As far as asking his boyfriend's mother first... DEFINITELY, I think I should have done that first... BUT I didn't.... and now it's too late!! I do feel like maybe I overstepped some boundaries there.. But what do I do now?? She and I have talked before though and she is very nice and quite understanding and says, "Not all parents are fine with this" meaning the boys being together and I think she's happy that she and I are on the same page.... My son's father is LIVID when I mention the other boy... He said the other day...." I still don't think xxxx is gay!" (our son... talk about DENIAL....)...
2007-10-29 04:51:45 · update #2
ps... The boys were already wearing these little home made bracelets with eachother's names on them... they keep breaking, etc... so I thought this would be better... and I said if they go their separate directions in the future, they can always keep them as mementos of the very special relationship they once had... as well as the friendship... and they can have their own rings back, as a memory of their high school years...
2007-10-29 04:56:25 · update #3
Cool Dude... I agree that first loves rarely last, lol... BUT I think this first love is really a special one because it's the first time they have had the chance to be themselves, to see that "real" love is not only for heterosexual people and that they too can have true love... I think they have shared a whole lot of their innermost feelings and have built a great deal of trust and I just really think it's been a life saver for both of them to see that they CAN find someone and that life is not just reserved for those that are heterosexual... that they CAN find happiness... my son was suicidal his sophomore year of high school (before he came out to me) and was hospitalized for seven days in the adolescent psychiatric unit because of a myriad of things and I can only surmise this was a huge issue weighing on his heart... I love him unconditionally... and I think these boys really have a special thing.. who knows where they'll be this time next year but lets celebrate the here & now..
2007-10-29 05:42:31 · update #4
I could just kiss you right now !!! You are doing the right thing. Your son's boyfriend's mother has no right to question your decision on the rings. In all actuality, you bought the rings for your son to do with as he pleases. If he chooses to give one to his friend, then so be it. If I wanted to by my boyfriend a gift, I don't think I would have to ask his mother for permission. Would this be different if you bought them matching watches? You are one of their biggest supporters and I'm sure they are grateful for your love and encouragement to live their lives openly and without prejudice. It's really refreshing to hear this story of love and support on this website. So many times I read of parents are disown or belittle their children for being gay. I salute you !!! We are all in this together, why not enjoy ourselves while we are here on this earth?
2007-10-29 05:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by spartexcites 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're weird at all. You're not promoting anything. You're just showing acceptance and love for your son and his boyfriend.
I'm sure his boyfriend's mother won't be upset if you two tend to be on the same page, like you mentioned.
If your mother or your son's father are bothered by this kind of act of generosity to your son and his boyfriend, that's their problem, not yours. In the end, their homophobia may end up alienating your son from them in the future.
Like many of the posters here have said, I think you are a wonderful person and the type of mom all gay and bi people (including myself) wish they could have. Your son is very lucky to have someone as supportive and loving as you in his life.
2007-11-05 10:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by x y 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're so awesome I think I might cry. You're the mom every gay boy wants! If I were in your place, the dad's reaction would *encourage* me to go through with this, because nothing makes a man realize something is true like a big ol' ring.
2007-10-29 11:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. D aka David 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your the one doing it and your mother needs to get over it...How can you promote something that has already happened...Does she think he'll turn straight one day and b/c of the rings he won't..lol I have many friends who are gay and I love them to death so you do what you feel in your heart is right. Your family can suck it up if they don't like it, they're not the ones spending the money, you are! So at the end of the day you just made your bond that much stronger with your son....You go MOM!!!
2007-10-29 04:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
You are by far the coolest mom!! BE PROUD!!!
''promoting what??" your sons gay relationship!?!? who cares if you are!! if you love him and everything about him then it doesnt matter!!
this is just an out loud way of showing you love him! and his decision to be in a seriously relationship with a great guy!!!
i agree with some of the other answers! IGNORE THE HATERS!!!
you are a great wonderful mother for being so understanding and so supportive of your son!!
your mother and other mothers and so forth that dont understand your support for your son just dont understand what you all together have been through, so IGNORE'em! and go on!
keep in mind...YOUR AN AWSME MOM for doing that!!
congrats!!
wish there were more mothers out there like you~!
2007-10-29 04:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
My dear Lady, I think that's such a kind gesture. Since your son is in a committed relationship and the other boy can't afford a ring, you allowing them both to have one is wonderous.
Thank you so much for loving your son and his boyfriend.
2007-10-29 05:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very loving and accepting mom, I wish all LGBT people had parents like you!...I think you should stick with your idea and when those other people give you flack just tell them that they should stop be intolerant and learn to be more accepting and non-judgmental. Your son isn't hurting anyone...they need to just live and let live.
2007-10-29 10:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Moxie! 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an amazing mother. Kudos to you. There is no point to living your life according to others. If they don't like what you are doing, so what. Live your life for you and do what makes you feel good. If buying a ring for your son's boyfriend makes you feel good, so be it. =]
2007-10-29 08:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by ҡʏʟɛ - ❄ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a wonderful person.....Alot of problems arise with teen who aren't allowed to be themselves....There is nothing wrong with your son in fact he may have found what takes some people a lifetime to find "himself". You are thoughtful, caring and understand your sons needs....
This is one of the best on yahoo answers that I have ever read...
Keep us posted on how they are doing because personally I hope they last....
2007-10-29 08:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by mended.ticker 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you stepped over your boundaries at all. I think that what you did is awesome. Kudos to you for supporting your son and his bf like you do. I think that you are an awesome mom... don't listen to all the people that are putting you down. You did this because you love them. No regrets... you made the right choice. :)
2007-10-29 05:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by Me!! 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋