My fiance and I have been together for over 2 years now, and have remained pure for all this time even while studying at the same college and living in the same dorm building. This has been extremely difficult, but we have upheld it to the point of suffering. Recently, however, we've been praying about it and it seems like it's time to get married. We are getting close or are already at that point where we can't physically resist being together a lot and wanting to be extremely close. We are both spiritually and emotionally united, and have been counseled that we are ready for marriage. My parents are not Christians and would never allow me to marry as long as I'm still in school. I have 2 more years to go in college. My fiance and I are hearing the call of God to be married, but with my parents it's simply impossible. Our bodies want to be united, but we don't want to commit fornication. What is there for us to do?? Please help. Thanks!
2007-10-29 03:57:47 · 18 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to those who inevitably will misjudge and say that we are getting married just for sex-
allow me to clarify: my fiance and I are united in almost every way except physically. We grow spiritually together and make life/future decisions together. To us, the only things that we do not do are live together and have sex with each other. Those two things we believe God has set apart for just married couples who feel the desire given by Him to be united as one. We are not bypassing the other important facets of marriage, but that we can experience those without being legally married as well. We are living in the responsibilities of a married couple- we just hesitate to have sex or live together without the God-ordained act of marriage.
2007-10-29 03:58:36 · update #1
Congrats on staying pure until wedding night. Now to your question. Are you not old enough to marry without parents consent? Otherwise all you can do is talk, talk, and talk some more to them.
You also have the option of going to a different state to marry. One that has a lower consent age for marriage. But before you do anything without your parents blessing, try talking to a priest and finding out why is the best solution to your problem. They should be able to offer the best advice based on what is allowed in your religion.
Good Luck and many happy years to you both.
2007-10-29 04:05:30 · answer #1 · answered by carmeliasue 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dear, I feel that you have abide by the word of God through and through. What an example and testimony you have given on this web site. Now as far as the parents, please do not let your parents influence your future as a christian and wanting to marry the man that God has given you. You are of age and do not need a signature. If nothing else just go to the minister and have a small ceremony (Privately). Later when the parents have adjusted maybe they will offer to have the big wedding. Until then, you have done everything the right way for you to continue in your spiritual, Christianity's. I know that nature is ready to take it's course. The devil would love to see it happen before marriage. The devil will also work through your parents to intervene with your purity before marriage. You can stop the devil working by just getting married. You sound very mature and seem to know what it is you want. So shoot for the stars honey, and you will be sitting on the clouds, not a cloud hanging over you... Best of luck with your soon to be marriage and new experience with another course of love, (Intimacy)! <3 <3 <3 :) :)
2007-10-29 11:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Outstanding! I was starting to think that there weren't many young christians out there saving themselves for their wedding night. You will truly be blessed beyond measure by God because of your wonderful decision to obey his laws; which by the way are only for your good! In the bible Paul says it's better to marry than burn and I agree that if you know that you're getting so close to blowing it, you should consider having a very small ceremony (just the two of you and the priest) and telling your parents afterwards. BUT you really need to count up the cost. Two becoming one involves more than the physical union God has ordained during intercourse, you will then be assuming the responsibilites that all husbands and wifes face. Where will we live? How will we do financially? How long will be wait before kids? If your parents are paying for your schooling will they drop it once they know that you've gotten married and if so what are you going to do then? Will you really continue to stay in school and stay focused once you have the responsibility of a husband and he a wife? God has blessed you with a good head on your shoulders and I know that you will make the right decision which might be to wait until you finish school. My husband of almost 20 years and I were in the same sitituation as you two and we had sex before marrying. The moment we did we were ashamed and saddened that we didn't wait for our wedding night. Although God forgives and even restores (big time!) and allowed us to successfully obstain from sex for a year before we were actually married, it was a wonderful wedding night and very special but we knew it was second best and not God's best. I think of that night often and unlike many of the obivious non-christians who answered your question with worldly and very silly advice. You must remember that you can be like them anytime you want but THEY CAN NEVER EVER BE YOU AGAIN! God bless you and I pray for you even now as you make this hard decision. Blessing!!!
2007-10-29 11:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by Singerofsongs 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Two years is not that long when eternity is involved. If God has called the two of you to be married you better do as your told. Read the old testament and find out what happens when you don't do what your Father has told you to do. Your parents will get over it. They are just worried about you.
And the sex is so worth the wait. When you have the blessing of the Father the two become one. Without it it's just sex. I have had it both ways and Gods way is really the best.
2007-10-29 11:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by Atheist 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl i'm proud of you!! To know that there are still decent youngsters out there who PUTS GOD FIRST.
Look my dear, there is a blessing that ONLY parents can give, and trust me it is priceless.
If God has given you the strength to abstain for this long, certainly HE will finish what HE started. Keep on praying for HIM to change your parents hearts.
You both can physically help the situation by avoiding being alone at odd times and secluded places.Don't deceive yourself and think you can do it on your own, rather don't create the atmosphere for temptation. You are human, not a spirt. The Bible says to FLEE from temptation, so when the urge comes, my dear, don't walk away. R.U.N !!!! and the Lord will keep you safe till your wedding night.
I'm sure you want that to be special don't you? Chances are that your fiance could have a change of mind after he's 'tasted' you.There wouldn't be anything special to look forward to anymore? And what's worse, you would have invited the spirit of uncontrollable lust and trust me, it won't end there. You've come too far to setlle for that ok?
I''m proud of you so keep it up and wait on the Lord.
2007-10-29 11:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by sweet-innocence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off congrats on substaining this long. Many people out there do not do this anymore. If God is calling you to do this then listen. Is there a reason your parents aren't wanting you to get married now? I went and got married without my parents blessing and things turned out ok but not every situation is the same. Just listen to your heart.
2007-10-29 12:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by sugar_n_spice20022003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the book of 1Corinthians 10:13 the Lord writes, No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. According to 1Cor. 7: 9 your way of escape is, if you can not control yourselves, you should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Believe me I learn the hard way about the burning passion lesson and still learning it. Trust God's word and not sinful man.
2007-10-29 11:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Gods women 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire both of you for being so stong when it would be so easy to get caught up in the moment and totally blow something you've worked so hard to protect. There is no easy answer from the sounds of it, i just know though if you give in and decide to have sex before marraige that you'll deeply regret it.
Just remember, everything is done in God's time, not ours. Take one day at a time and focus on the things you can control. Wish you and your future hubby the best.
2007-10-29 11:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by Phil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Scripture says it is better to marry than to burn with sexual longing. This situation is all about reaping what you sow. Truly being ready for marriage includes being able to make a living and provide for yourselves. It's hard, not as hard as passing a camel through the eye of a needle though, to obtain college education without parental support. If you are truly ready to make this choice, you can say to your parents, that you understand they do not approve, but you are an adult so it is your choice, and that you are not expecting them to financially support you any more. But if you cannot bear to part with your parents paying for college, then you are either going to suffer, or you will have to take heart in the fact that nowhere in the Bible does it say we are not allowed to satisfy sexual urges by ourselves.
2007-10-29 11:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by Windi Lea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the eyes of god, if you were to have sex you would be married. If you announce yourself to the world as being married, then you are married. Legal or not, wedding or not. Swear it to each other, swear it in front of people, let everyone know it to be so and you will be married before god. Speak with a member of the clergy, say you wish it, and dont care about law, that can come later, but you wish to be mnarried forever. screw your parents... its your heart and soul.
2007-10-29 11:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋