My boyfriend says I don't trust him. We have been together 2 years and he says that I should stop acting jealous. I love him and I trust him but I don't trust some of the girls he talks to. He says that he loves me and tries hard to be faithful and he feels that inspite of all he does it is for nothing because I still treat him like he is cheating. If you really love someone shouldn't it be easy not to cheat? and Why doesn't he want to help me work through my trust issues? Will my jealousy drive him away?
2007-10-29 03:27:55 · 10 answers · asked by honeyluv_2010 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You say you trust him, it's those girls you don't trust. Ok, so what is it about those girls you don't trust? Are you afraid that they are going to tempt him to stray? Or are you afraid that they are so tempted by him that they will assault him and force him to do things with them? If it's the first, then the truth is, you do not trust him. Everyone in this world faces temptation; if you trust him, you will trust him to face temptation and overcome it. That said, what if you realize you do not trust him? Can you be objective enough to figure out if you don't trust him because you are not a trusting person, or if he is actually untrustworthy? Either way, it may help to step back from being in a relationship for some time alone so you can either learn how to trust, or learn how to respect yourself enough to accept only trustworthy guys for your boyfriend. If by not trusting those girls, you mean you think they will somehow force themselves on him without his consent, perhaps you can persuade him to take some self-defense classes so he can protect himself.
2007-10-29 03:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by Windi Lea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it will drive him away. He will figure"she thinks I'm doing it anyways". I am a little jealous too and im married to the most faithful man ever. I KNOW he wouldnt cheat on me but I dont go overboard and act childish, I just laugh about it. Hes a good looking guy if I chased off every girl that looked at him I would drive myself crazy. I think flirting is healthy for a relationship, not excessive but friendly flirting is ok. If you dont trust him you have self esteem issues you have to work with yourself. No one can Make you trust them. If he tried and failed to help you then you will make your problem his.
2007-10-29 03:51:09 · answer #2 · answered by deedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it will drive him away. If you are together you should have friends together. Like they shouldn't be just his friends. They should be his and your friends. You gotta give him space though. if he's gonna cheat then he's gonna cheat and you cant stop it. He feels like he's doing his part to stay faithful, you have to acknowlege that or he wont do his part anymore.
I can see you'll be posting here again in a few weeks asking what to do next because he cheated or left you and you love him so so so much. LOL
I'll answer it ahead of time. If he cheats leave him. If he leaves you find a new man that will let you control him.
2007-10-29 03:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by ZX3R 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is he cheating or not?
and the line "he tries really hard to be faithful" what????
You either cheat or you don't . Your either a disrespectful low life cheating scum or your not? If he is cheating you wont change him, so get your stuff together and move on. If he is not cheating and you are just jealous of who he hangs with you need to discuss this with him and work on it as a couple. If not get your stuff together and move on. Really it is not rocket science.
2007-10-29 03:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by Diamond Dogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy is a healthy component to a relationship...to a certain extent. Has he ever given you a reason NOT to trust him.......Maybe not your jealousy but your insecurity could drive him away.....maybe for the short term...say like a week or two, put a keylogger on the computer and check his mobile, calls and sms's and if there is nothing suspicious, then cut it out...but set a time limit for your spying, otherwise you are going to send yourself and yourbf insane
2007-10-29 03:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by andianaplus3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really trusted him, then you wouldn't be worried about other women and their behavior. Make a concious effort to trust him. Trust is a choice. Yes, you will drive him away with your trust issues.
2007-10-29 03:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to learn to separate your feelings and how you treat him....It's normal to feel jealous but, how you react or deal it with is something different... He shouldn't have to help you with being jealous...It's like if he had a cheating problem and he ask you to help him not to cheat...It's either you learn to sort through it or yes he may just end up leaving you for someone who is more secure or who is jealos but, doesn't show it or nag him about it....
2007-10-29 03:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have proof that he's cheating, you'd best lighten up or it might become self-fulling prophecy! It's not that "easy" to be faithful because there are always girls who put temptation before guys. However, it's not them you have to trust; it's him!
2007-10-29 03:38:55 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it should be easy to remain faithful, my husband can get as jealous as he wants there's nothing going on. the only reason i would have for making it seem like he is the one who can't be trusted is to take the attention off of me. your not jealous...youre probably aware of happenings that push the envelope of your relationship comfort zone. think about if all of his "efforts" are enough.
2007-10-29 03:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by tenpointsgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definetely yes.. you are ! for a relationship to work out you should trust your partner... if you don't you will never have peace of mind..eventually you will always fight.
2007-11-02 03:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋