Have you read "Hail to the Cheese" by Helena Handbasket?

Question

The desert sun beat down on Tyler like an anvil. Each step felt like dragging a fifty found lead weight across the sand. He kept going over the last thing Cinnamon had said to him, "Turn left, Tyler, turn left."

He had been turning left for days, it seemed, almost like drawing a circle.

Then, a voice called out from over the next dune.

PENFOLD: "Over here, ya' dumn fecker!"
TYLER: "Ahoy Sailor!"
PENFOLD: "It's not a uniform. It's me mum's nip and tucker she's given me."

With that, Tyler crumpled in a heap on the desert floor. The sound of Penfold's Whizzer motorbike ( http://www.whizzermotorbike.com/ )and o puff of smoke signaled relief was on the way.

PENFOLD: "Get up, man!"
TYLER: "Where the Mole?"
PENFOLD: "She's wholed up in a cave with DFA. There're making the Molotov Cocktails.
TYLER" "This is an odd time for a party, don't you think?"
PENFOLD: "Bombs! You daft Deutchedork!"

Just then, the noise of airplane engines began to drone in the distance.

TYLER: "They found us! Run!"

MOLEY: "Over here, guys!"

The two scrambled up the hill and lept into the mouth of the cave just as the planes passed overhead.

DFA: "Have brought any sandwiches with you."

PENFOLD: "Yes. I have ham and swiss with tomato and watercress."

DFA: "What about the German?"

TYLER: "I have brought two bocksbeutels full of Silvaner."

DFA: "Great! You know those things don't stack in the cellar very well!?!"

The umistakeable sound of Annabella's 1963 Puch Cheetah ( http://www.vintagebike.co.uk/Bike%20Directories/Puch%20Bikes/pages/Puch-Cheetah-63.htm )could be heard coming up the hill. From the looks of things, she's been to the market.

ANNABELLA: "I have Mousse of Duck Foie Gras with Truffles, Montbriac and Clochette, enough for two weeks. Where is the fridge?"

MOLEY: "We have to fridge."

You could see the shame in her eyes. She hated telling the French woman that she had no way to store semi-soft cheeses.

TYLER: "I think Cinnamon is coming with a generator, or maybe some dry ice.:
ANNABELLA: "What do Amricans know about cheese?"
DFA: "Leave her pallet out of this! If it weren't for her, we'd all be dead right now...or standing in the unemployment line."
ANNABELLA: "Fine! I just hope there's more wine around here, something other than that German crap."

Just then, the unmistakable smell of Chicago deep-dish pizza drifted into the cave.

SQUIRREL CAGE: "Gorgonzolla!"
DFA: "That's last week's password, SC, get in here."
PENFOLD: "Is there pepperoni?"

SQUIRREL CAGE: "Yes, pepperoni, anchovy, a blend of four cheese, and Moon Belle."
MOLEY: "Moon Belle?"
SQUIRREL CAGE: "My girlfriend. Sh'e parking the car." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citro%C3%ABn_DS

MOON: "The right front wheel fell off, yet I was able to drive here safely due to the amazing French technology."

Answer 1

Could I order a Puch Cheetah, please?

Excuse me officer it appears I have just accidentally just ran over something what smells like Gorgonzola!! He wandered out in front of me rattling some bells shouting MOON! took me by surprise!.........................(peers down dreadfwully sowwy, chap!........sniff..........turns and vomits!!!)

Answer 2

That is the good story and quite interesting.Like a great book i couldn;t take my eyes off it till the end.,,Cheers .

Answer 3

Deutchedork.... Lol... Now I have a new name to call Tyler other than "Old Geezer"...

I love these little dribbles you put up.

Answer 4

Would you wake me up when this treacherous copy of the "Great Gatsby" is finished so I can feck up the punctuations.

Answer 5

I guess your doctor needs to adjust your medication level again. Good luck buddy. =)

Helena Handbasket? Clever, very clever. lol

Answer 6

No. We better get busy.

Answer 7

Why am i not in the play? :-(