I'm really confused. I found out that i was pregnant 2 days ago, and my boyfriend already decided i was to abort. I agreed, but now i have changed my mind. He has done this whole abortion thing with an ex, so thinks i'll be fine, but im really considering keeping it and ditching him after the way hes pushing me. I always thought he was a gentleman, we've been through so much together. I cant even face him. Do i have a termination to save my relationship or follow my heart? Please help!!
2007-10-29 01:16:39 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Its your body with the baby in it. And you in the end solely responsible for taking care of this little life. You are the one that will probably be an emotional wreck if you abort being that you already have doubts about it. If you want kids in your life wether now or later, then i would not just abort to save your relationship with this guy. He is obviously a jerk. If you want kids and he doesn't then honestly there is no true future for you two in the end. If you want this baby keep it. It should be none of his decision what so ever. You don't need a person like him in your life!
2007-10-29 01:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by luvinmykevin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not have an abortion just to make him happy. He is showing a total lack of responsibility and having done this before with his ex proves it is just an easy way out for him. And it shows that aborting your child will not help you keep him. In fact since you are doubting doing it shows that more then likely if you go ahead and do it to save the relationship you will more then likely blame him in the long run. What about putting the baby up for adoption? At least you would know you did the best thing for the baby by letting it live and also blessing another family with a child. Should you decide that you want to raise the child yourself there are many organizations and government funded programs that will help you. If your bf doesnt want anything to do with the child and wont support you financially have him sign away his rights as the childs father. Of course that leaves you without child support but also clears the way for a Real man to someday adopt your little one should you wish.
Kathy
2007-10-29 01:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by c2god2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds kind of similar to my situation when I first found out I was pregnant.
When I first found out, I told my boyfriend right away. We had been dating for a year and 5 months. He was confused for quite a while as to what he wanted (and his opinion mattered to me, because it is his child). He decided that he wanted me to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. And honestly- that was the saddest part of my life when we talked about it (which we did alot because I frankly didnt want to do either). A few weeks later, I flat out told him that I wasnt going to. A week or so later, he sent me the sweetest email while I was at school. He decided that if I truly wanted to keep our baby that he would work to help ensure that.
And as I sit here typing this, Im 35 weeks pregnant and our second anniversary is coming up this week and we just got engaged last Thursday. :-)
I dont know if this will help you at all, but it somewhat sounds like he doesnt really care that you are carrying his child or about you (the reason Im saying this is because of the previous girlfriend and abortion). If I were you, I would follow my heart and whatever happens- happens. If he doesnt support you, then he doesnt deserve you.
2007-10-29 04:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Alina's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am pro-choice. My opinion is it is up to you whether or not to have an abortion. Every situation is different but my advice is....Do NOT get an abortion if you are not 100% sure! You have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. If he is pressuring you to do something that drastic that you are not comfortable with, he is not the one for you. You can raise a child on your own and you will be better off doing that than getting an abortion you will regret for the rest of your life. Also, he might turn around once the baby is actually born. Babies have a way of changing people. But keep in mind, that he might not change. Be prepared to raise the baby with or without him. Most states have laws requiring him to help at least financially with child support payments.
2007-10-29 01:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a tough situation. But you need to consider if you think you are financially, emotionally, and all those important issuesy stable enough to raise a child. What if you do end up alone if your boyfriend doesnt want to be responsible? Consider everything you would ever want for your child and see if it would be born into the world you aspire for it. Otherwise, improve what you can to rause it, or make a very difficult choice many women have to make. (If only they could remove the baby for a couple of years, and put it in a similar place where they store sperm, Then you could come back to it and go "Yeah, im ready now!) But then again, moral issues people would regard very seriously..... Off topic.... in the end i think you need to consider the money and life side of you the baby and everyone else. i hope everything turns out great.
2007-10-29 01:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't about him or keeping the relationship---there is another person involved now. You have to do what is right for you and right for the child. It's a hard decision, and I'm sorry that you have been put in this position. I don't know what I would have done in your shoes. You just have to weigh out the options. Either way, your life is going to be changed forever. Are you ready to be a mommy emotionally and financially? Are you ready to give up being a mommy for now if that's not what is right for YOU? Sounds like sperm donor guy uses abortion as birth control, and that's not the way it ought to be. Do some heavy soul searching and follow your gut--whichever way it takes you. You'll be in my prayers.
2007-10-29 02:47:29 · answer #6 · answered by Angie V 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Follow your heart. TRUST ME!!! I had an abortion because I got pregnant within months of having a preemie my doctor told me I was risking both our lives to continue. And while have been told by so many people that having 3 at home that needed their mommy I did the right thing I still mourn for that child. I regret it and their is no way to change your mind afterwards. Really think this out and ask him to try to understand if he cares for you he will sit and talk with you and help you through this if he doesn't then that is not someone yu need to be with. Honestly everyone deserves to be with someone who is there for emotional support. I know it is difficult but follow your heart.
2007-10-29 01:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do what you want. The guy you are talking about is not even worth anyone's time. What is the deal with this guy getting different girls pregnant. Is he just so great and wonderful where it makes all these girls blind and not use birth control?
As how you stated your 19 years old, well being 19 your grown so it is on your shoulders. All he can do is pay child support. If you want to go through with your pregnancy do so but don't end it cause you think it will help your "relationship". He will have someone else pregnant by the time the year is up.
2007-10-29 01:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can tell you about my personal experience and it might help.. I got pregnant at the end of June of this year. I told the father (my bestfriend for years) and he told me he wanted me to get an abortion. he said that whatever i decide to do he will be here with me regardless but in his heart he really thought an abortion was the right choice (it was a complicated situation) well i told him i couldnt do it that i felt it was against my morals. and he said okay but when we talked bout it he continued to say he wish i would have one. well i started havin the same thoughts as u. i love him and i dont want to lose him but i think abortion isnt the right choice. ultimately on August 31st i had the abortion. I dont feel depressed but i do feel regret. i think about it every day and wish i made the other decision and me and the father have talked bout it and he said deep down he does to. we are still together and our relationship hasnt suffered and im not even upset with him. but more at myself. and currently my sister, my bestfriend, her lil sister and another friend of mine are all pregnant bout a month after me. and i feel the regret even stronger now. i find myself checking how far along i would be now and what stage my baby would be. i cry sometimes.. i dont know if the situation will be similar to mine but i just wanted to tell u what happened since i made the decision to terminate.. God bless and i wish u the best of luck whatever your decision
2007-10-29 02:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by Alicia B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hunny your 19 years old chances are that the realtionship won't last for ever...i don't mean that in a horrible way but if he truly loved you then he wouldn't be pushing you into doing something to your body like this, don't have the termination if you don't want to its your body and this thing is growing inside you and that is something that no guy will ever understand, once a woman falls pregnant and sees the lines on that test that is when her life changes and she feels a hole different meaning to the word love, no person will experience the bonding and love that a mother feels with her unborn child, if you don't want this termination than tell him and if he has a problem with that then im sure your family and friends are going to be there to support you, i know that every woman wants to have the invovlment of their partner the guy that made the child with you but sometimes its better off without the biological father. good luck sweetie and i hope it all works out
2007-10-29 01:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋