Considering that it is proven that after 35 it is much riskier to concieve, many more things can go wrong. Why do some women intentionally wait until they are 35 or older to conceive then?
I don't mean if they got married at 35 and had no other choice, but say they got married at 30, but waited 5 years -- isn't that selfish seeing as they are going to have a higher chance of thigns going wrong, and such a bigger age gap between their children and them?
2007-10-29 00:59:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
What business is it of yours (or any ones) when a woman chooses to have a child? How presumptuous of you.
2007-10-29 01:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 10⤊ 3⤋
Well first of all, I don't think that there is a problem with having a larger age gap than the average between you and your children, it does not top people from being great mothers, bonding with their children, and being able to enjoy watching them grow up. There may be a few looks from people, thinking that they have the authority to comment on how other's live their lives, but as long as the child is healthy, happy and loved what does it really matter?
On to the business of why women leave it later, it can be for all sorts of reasons. I ams sure that in the back of a mind of someone who is over 30 (as my gf is), that they are approaching an age where conception may be more difficult and prone to carry more risk, but there are other factors which they may feel are important.
They could wish to further their careers to a point so as to provide the most comfortable and giving environment for a child, to build up a maternity (or paternity) allowance so as to spend more time when the child is very young. They may also simply feel that having a child so soon after being married may put strain on a new marraiage, and that the couple should enjoy married life a few years before they subject themselves to the lifetime commitment of a child.
Finally the woman may just simply feel she is not ready. biologically she may be approaching a dangerous age, but the maturity and sense to be a mother can come at any age, and often younger mothers simply feel they can not do it at that time.
2007-10-29 01:07:24 · answer #2 · answered by Retro 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I had two children, close age difference, after years of infertility treatments, in my late 20's... Then that was it... but I thought I was blessed anyway. Would loved to have had more, just didn't work out... Then at 40 I fell pregnant again... despite everyone nagging me, calling me mad... I had my third child when I was 41!!. All was well, I followed all the scans and tests etc... but it was scary and hard. Then almost as if deliberate I fell pregnant 3 times after that (I didn't go thru with it as I was already well into my 40's)... it was quite embarrassing, but my fertile time had come, perhaps at the wrong stage in life, but we are all so unique and so different. Despite modern medicine and all the rest, some things as natural as having children, dont come easily to some and you have to grab when you can. My gyne said that its just the way my body went and did things... . Personally my late life child is the joy of my life, more a luxury, like stolen goods before the factory closed down. There are a lot of positives, there are some things that bothered me, (couldn't see her little fingernails to cut them and couldn't get her out the bath as back was stuck!!... etc etc) so you know, you learn to wash them under the tap!!! There's no set age, honey... kids are a gift, that's the main thing. Love them and guide them and you can do that at whatever age as long as you are ready and want them.
2007-10-29 03:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by dunwerse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you marry at 30, that doesn't mean you are ready for the emotional and financial committment of children straight away.
It is perfectly acceptable for women in their late 30's and early 40's to have children these days. Yes, the risks of complications do increase with age but women of these ages most often deliver perfectly healthy babies.
2007-10-29 02:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not always choice. Sometimes they just don't or can't or don't want to get pregnant until then. Sometimes they don't want to get preggers immediately after they find a guy to have a kid with, or they don't find the guy in time, or the guy doesn't want to, and of course there's the career argument, or other things they want to do. Perhaps they don't feel mature enough in their 20s - reasonable. Not financially stable. Suddenly realise they're running out of time or get maternal urges late. It's not considered really risky until after 40 btw and even then they can screen for many problems in advance and terminate if necessary (if you think it's a bad person to bring someone into the world who might have "problems'). I wouldn't call it selfish, well, no more than it's selfish to create an entirely new person at any age.
2007-10-29 01:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I personally do not have children but work with women in all age groups that conceive. To be honest...I think it is selfish to have children too early as you are not as financially and emotionally stable. It is a proven fact your brain is not even developed fully until after the age of 25.
With medicine the way it is now, it is not at all as risky as you think. A big age gap between your children and your age is a good thing...you are trying to guide this child not be it's best friend.
2007-10-29 01:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
... and this means what to you?
The fact that a baby could very well be born with Downs Syndrome isn't a death sentence. There is nothing selfish about giving birth to a little one who might have some challenging needs, it's a beautiful thing that women choose to do so.
Very sad of you to judge on what other women choose to do. To bring a baby into the world is always a miracle and a beautiful thing. :)
2007-10-29 01:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by AV 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
They do it because they are putting themselves first and think they aren't ready to have kids. So they have a job and try to make more money and time just passes. That happened to a professor of mine. Him and his wife met as undergrads and they got married but put off kids until they finished grad school. Then they waited until he finished his post-doc and then they waited until they were secure with their jobs. Then they finally had kids and he said when they had their first one they thought "why didn't we do this sooner?!" They love being parents and are actually sad that they missed out on it sooner.
2007-10-29 01:28:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Many women feel they will be giving up a huge part of their life to have a baby, and they want to have "had it all".
They want to have worked, have travelled, etc.
Generally, most women don't think of it as risking the HEALTH of the baby, but rather the chances of actually bringing one to term.
2007-10-29 01:02:56 · answer #9 · answered by Elana 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Nowadays woman have careers too. And they meet the one too late.
2007-10-29 01:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋