My fiance and I are both Catholic (received all necessary sacarments), raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic highschools. We currently attend a Catholic church and are looking to get married in it, but we live together and are wondering if it's going to a problem when we sit down and talk to the priest. We know they will ask us to live apart during marriage prep, but the fact of the matter is that we couldn't afford to rent out another place. We wouldn't want to move out either but would be willing to do so if absolutely necessary. How should we respond to the priest when he asks us to live apart...is this going to create a problem with us getting married in the church?
2007-10-29 00:52:51 · 14 answers · asked by bsteale83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't worry about it.
I lived with my now husband before we were married, and we didn't have a bit of trouble about it. The priest discussed it with us, and explained the Church's position on living together before marriage, but there was no decree that we live seperately.
The fact of the matter is that you are free to marry and the Church cannot keep you from that as long as you are both marrying for good reasons (you love one another, will have children and raise them Catholic, are not being pressured by outside sources, etc.)
A priest may refuse to marry you on the basis of living together, but you can just go to a different priest or Church. In this day and age it happens all the time. Trust me, they will be delighted that you and your fiance are choosing to have a Catholic wedding! They would rather accept you this way than shoo you off to be married in a courthouse or in Vegas.
Good luck and congratulations!
2007-10-29 01:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by elsie 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
According to the Canon Law, one of the people in the couple must be a baptized Catholic. In most cases, they must also live in the archdiosce of the Catholic Church they wish to get married in or they must join or be in that Church's parish. Conversion is a year long process but "I want to get married in that church cause I think it's pretty" it not a good reason to convert. No Catholic Preist will marry them in a Catholic Church. What are their reasons for wanting to get married at that particular church? Location, ornate-"ness"? There are many non-demoniational churches that are just as ornate. Otherwise I would suggest a park or something along those lines.
2016-05-26 00:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK- BRING ON THE THUMBS DOWN! I AM WOMAN ENOUGH TO TAKE IT!!
You aren't living together- you are shacking up. Only married people live together.
You REALLY need to understand what a Catholic marriage is all about. Check out The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West, or Marriage and the Eucharist ( available FREE from Catholicity.com)
You are living in a state of objective mortal sin, and you sure aren't showing your future-spouse any respect by having sex outside of marriage.
Co-habitating couples have a 50% higher rateof divorce than couples who do not shack up.
Don't lie to the priest- another sin, if you recall. Hopefully he will be straight up with you about the risks you are taking with your marriage- and your souls.
One of you should move back home until after the wedding- you will be doing yourselves a favor.
2007-10-29 11:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy_to_seven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best just to go talk with your parish priest, and no lying. It would be rare that you would be denied -- but I've heard of priests asking that you start living separately before you get married.
As a Catholic, too, I'm chagrined that you are picking and choosing what parts of being Catholic which you believe in and practice, though. Think long and hard, and discuss this, before the two of you get married, and especially before you have children.
2007-10-29 03:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be alright. You guys sound like my wife & I, we are both catholic with all sacaraments, and brought up in Catholic homes, schools, etc. When we went to speak with our priest we were already living together & were even pregnant! We were already engaged when she became prgnant, but we were six months from our wedding date. The priest we spoke with pleasantly surprised us. He was very understanding, practical, and down-to-Earth in regards to our living situation, etc. I hope you guys have someone who is also as understanding. I think in general the church has become much more realistic in those regards. If he is not then try to explain it in real world terms, such as the financial benefits of living together. Also, don't allow the conversation to be guided towards the things you are doing wrong in the churches eyes. Instead, be sure to focus the conversation on the things you two do together that make you stronger in faith. Congratulations, and good luck!
2007-10-29 01:09:29 · answer #5 · answered by blujello 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no it shouldn't be a problem for most priests. if a priest wont marry you " which is very unlikely" ask another one
my brother lived with his girlfriend for 3 years here in Ireland and had no bother in getting married. the fact that you are attending church means that you are known to the priest and that will make it easier for you.
2007-10-29 00:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by armaghmadman 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When my ex and I were planning our wedding, the priese said it would be ok to live in the same house as "brother and sister". I don't agree with catholic beliefs, and was only doing it for my fiance. Needless to say...none of it worked out. Maybe you could try living as brother and sister...meaning not have any sex until the wedding. It's worth a shot. You won't die because of it!
2007-10-29 01:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by Candi H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am catholic and my family is also and we have had many living together before the wedding and our priest has still married them.
2007-11-02 00:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by shan140399 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let call wrong, wrong. it is wrong to stay in same home with someone that is not yet ur husband or wife. the bible is against it. from what u said u also know that it is wrong even ur mind is telling u so. before u met her or him u of both were staying separately. so u can do same now. a little time u of both will get marry and live happy together ever after.
2007-10-29 01:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by nwamaka n 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a catholic, and the priest has NO rights to deny you a catholic ceremony if you are NOT separated.
2007-10-29 02:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋