How would you help a grieving family?

Question

Regardless of what & why & when & how their grief was caused...if you know a family is deeply grieving, how would you help them?

Kamran, the McCanns were at fault in leaving their babies unattended. We know it & they know it now...They are grieving deeply. However terrible & irresponsible their decision in leaving babies alone was, there was no intent to harm...They love & miss their Madeleine to bits. Regrets & guilt about that night eat at them constantly. Don't you think they deserve some empathy, if not sympathy?

Edit: Kezwalk, the McCanns have already had parenting classes with Social Workers who have helped them understand the implications of child neglect. That done, would you support their search for their Madeleine & refrain from the baseless accusations of murder hurled against them???

Answer 1

Parenting classes with social workers? are you sure faith? I know neglect would have been discussed with them but I very much doubt they have been asked to attend parenting classes, do you have a link to this information?

In terms of your question, personally I would offer any support I could, professionally I would refer the family to specialist greif counselling support.

Answer 2

It's so hard to know what to do in certain situations. Some pople need to have someone around and others need to be left alone. Before the funeral I will make them a nice home cooked meal and drop if off for them. I always tell them that if there is anything, anything at all that I can do please call me. Most people never call you because they hate to ask so sometimes I will call and say why don't we do this or do that and see what kind of reaction you get. If it's an out and out no then I leave them alone but if they sound somewhat interested I will say lets plan it then.

One thing that I have found that is a really nice touch is about a week or so after family have gone back to their homes and the grieving party is more or less alone I will send them just a simple rose bowl with 1 beautiful rose. By this time any other
flowers have probably given up the ghost and it's nice to have a little reminder that somebody really cares. After about a week or so you rarely hear from anyone so any little
thought is usually highly welcomed.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

One thing you should NOT do is avoid talking about their deceased one. People want to talk about him/her. Also, never say "I know what you are going through" because no matter what you have been through, you don't know.

I got this information when someone very near and dear to me lost a 14 yr old child unexpected. She was their only child.
I researched grief counseling.

P.S. Thumbs down to Karam on Xbox...this was not a mcCann question, why did you have to turn it into one? Bad Boy, go sit in the corner and think about what you have done.

Answer 5

I would say that I was always there if they needed me, but I wouldn't pester them by constantly ringing them to see if they were OK. I believe that grief is a private thing (with me anyway), and some people like to be left alone. I think people feel better knowing you are there, but they wouldn't want you there fussing away all the time. I'd offer them my support, and tell them to ring if they needed anything, but other than that I would let them grieve in peace.

Answer 6

I think the only thing you can do is offer your condolences and be there for any member of the family who needs to talk or cry or just be with someone. Depending on how close you are to the family, it might help to take food (casseroles etc) to ensure that they have good nutritious food even when they don't feel like cooking.

Grief is a powerful emotion and people deal with it in very different ways.

EDIT - Why on earth are people getting thumbs down for perfectly reasonable answers?

Answer 7

Let them know that I am just a phone call away if they need anything. Call them every few days to see how they are and to just take their mind off of things for a moment. My friend recently died and although his sister is not really my type, I kept ringing her and taking her out for a bite to eat or a drink, for a good 3 or 4 months immediately after. It seemed to help. I had been in the same position 17 yrs earlier, my brother died, but nobody came to me to help . That's why I felt I had to keep on at her to keep her occupied. I know how dreadful it is.

Always express sympathy to someone who has lost someone close. They will appreciate it , somewhere along the line.

Answer 8

Some things are better dealt with in private. Grief is one of those things.

I would certainly offer my condolences and say they could call if they needed anything but apart from that its not right to impose.

Answer 9

I would help the grieving family with parenting classes and helping through understanding the implication of child neglect

Answer 10

Listen - and try and protect them from speculation. There's nothing you can do to alleviate the pain. Youc an grieve with them, and support them.