pressure from other women NOT to have pain relief!!!why cant they LEAVE ME ALONE!?

Question

I am 37 weeks now, so getting close! I am quite sure that I will get an epidural if pain becomes unbearable during labour..I will try the gas and air first but I dont see the point of being in more pain than necessary, when I dont have to!

However...I keep having everyone tell me not to get the epidural, my mother, my mother in law etc...they act like I am being a wimp, and say 'well we done it, so can you'! I even had a friend, who is not and has never been pregnant say (in a really irritating way) 'Well when I give birth I am going to do it without any pain med, just to say that I have done it'...I mean, its not a competition amongst women as to who is the 'strongest'!!!!

Why do some woman act like this, like they are better than those who decide to take the epidural, it is driving me crazy!!!

Answer 1

Do you want me to tell you why they are telling with to go without drugs or an epidural?
Cause it is not going to be them laying there hurting, it will be you.
Yea maybe they did give birth without having the two above but that was them this is you and when you can take something that will kill the pain then why not?
What does it really prove if you get an epidural or not?
If you don't it means nothing and if you do it means nothing either way you are going to deliever.
Tell them to shut up and worry about their own lives.

Answer 2

The main reason I planned not to have an epidural is that it scared me too much! The idea of a needle being injected into my spine was way too freaky and I thought the pain of labour would be preferable.

Turns out I was wrong!

After about 8 hours, a needle in the spine was the least of my worries!!!! The epidural was the only thing that kept me going, and I could finally stop and breathe, have a drink, recover some strength to push for the last stage.

On the other hand there are a lot of complications that can arise after an epidural. It can slow down or stop your contractions if administered too early or inhibit your ability to push if administered too late. You will usually be paralysed from the waist down so can't change positions (you have to give birth lying on your back) and you usually receive a catheter because you have no sensation in your bladder, which means at least 2 days in hospital and can lead to bladder control issues later.

So consider the issue carefully (and it sounds as though you have done) but don't underestimate yourself - you might be stronger than you think! Go into it with your options wide open, then you won't feel let down or disappointed if things don't go to plan.

A great piece of advice I heard was this; if you finally decide for any form of pain relief, get your partner to encourage you to wait 15 minutes. This time is often enough to deal with the pain or move to the next stage of labour when the pain is less intense. Although if my husband had told me to wait 15 minutes when I decided I wanted an epidural, I think I would have ripped his head off!!!

Any form of pain relief, even gas, is a foreign substance you are adding to your body, so can potentially lead to complications for your baby. Avoid it where possible, but don't let ANYONE make you feel guilty for using it! After all, YOU are the one squeezing a person out of your vagina!!!!

EDIT: I hated pethedine, it spun me out and I felt really detached from the whole event. Would never do it again.

Answer 3

Everyone and I mean everyone will have an opinion on everything to do with pregnancy and labour (me included, lol!). I happen to agree that epidurals aren't entirely necessary but that doesn't mean that I would tell you absolutely not to get one if you feel it is what you need. Some women feel pain differently and cope on different levels so it can be a very useful tool to help a woman cope during her delivery. Epidurals freak me out so I just didn't want to go there. And the risks involved scared me too.
I think its great you are willing to try gas and air first (it didn't work for me so I had pethedine but that was all) but don't discredit you and your bodies ability to do it naturally.
I think the most important thing to remember is that you need to take charge of your labour and delivery and use any method you feel comfortable with to get through it.
Epidural or not it will still be the most amazing experience you will have and at the end of the day your family will forget how you actually gave birth. And realistically its a horrible thing to make you feel bad about the choices you make about your body.

And do not take advice from people who have not been through labour and delivery. They wouldn't have a clue what the hell they are talking about!!! Some women like to brag about their deliveries as if it is a competition but just ignore them. Be proud and confident in your decision and stick by your convictions.

Best of luck and I hope it happens soon for you and the way you want!

Answer 4

Don't let them bully you. Your birth experience is unique to you an its definately not up to anyone else to dictate how you go through it. If you dont want to be in pain that's fine! the main focus of giving birth is not martyrdom - its getting the baby out in a way that is healthy and safe for mother and baby. The end result in pregnancy is NOT the way you give birth, or even the birth itself - its the child

There are no fanfares, no awards and no medals or anything if you give birth without pain relief.....

I had a natural delivery with my first baby because, during my pregnancy i had read you need to be catheterized during an epidural - well, after 9 hours labour and 90 minutes pushing i had to be catheterized anyway and given an episiotomy and ventouse delivery (very painful and traumatic)

so this time, im taking the epidural - im no hero and i dont want my baby to be born in distress again like last time - if i'm relaxed and pain free, then hopefully the baby will not suffer as badly.

don't let them bully you - its your decision completely.

Answer 5

JUst know that you are not being a wimp for getting the epidural! I look at as, why be in that much pain, if you can get something that will make the labor and child birth enjoyable. I have done it both ways and would much rather go with the epidural, it made me much more comfortable and I enjoyed it a lot more.

Answer 6

you do what you want hun i was determined not have pain relief with my first,i suppose cuz i spoken to a friend and she only used gas and air with her 4 pregnancies and thought i bad to reduce to pain relief but once my tens machine stopped working i was happy to agree to epidural!!! i dont understand my self why its such a big deal i was glad i had the epidural in the end as i ended up having an emergency c-section and i was able to stay awake through out. these women do make you feel guilty and its wrong,but its the same factor of how you feed the baby too....tht is always got to be a competition too...as long as babies arrive healthily and are gaining wait once being fed them this should be the most important factor.
im booked to have c-section this time around but would like natural and again if pain gets unbearable (EPIDURAL)
also i find same goes for c-sections im sure people think your a less of a woman cuz youve had c-section but tht aint easy either

Answer 7

When I was pregnant with my first I had mixed pressure, I actual am a total wimp when it comes to pain,so part of my birth plan was to have whatever pain medication I could, but I ended up building the pain up so much before I actual went in that it wasn't that bad, but everyone is different it doesn't make you strong or weak, just let the women in your life know how your feeling, they should be supporting you and whatever decision you make. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Yes, those women are out there!!! There is nothing wrong taking the pain relief... it's there for a reason. You'll be in a better state of mind and it's up to you to make the experience how YOU want to remember it. I personally would LOVE to attempt to do it all natural, no meds, but the reality is if it hurts bad enough, then drugs are DEFINITELY the way to go! Our bodies are made to endure labor, but drugs are also made to relieve stress and unnecessary pain. It's YOUR body and your decision, so forget everyone else:) I am scheduled to have a Cesarean because my baby is breech, and although I would love to experience vaginal delivery, I don't think having a C-Section makes me less of a woman... but there are those people out there who are quick to judge. Best of luck, and take the meds if that's what YOU want!!

Answer 9

Is this your first child?? Usually its women that have had a child before that they then want to try it drug free, i wanted every pain relief going with my first i told my consultant i didn't want to feel a thing!!! Then my 2nd child i wanted to try it without any pain relief i done well until up to an hour before he was born!!!!
Its down to you dont listen to anyone else because they have more then likely got about 2 or 3 kids, your first baby is much harder to have then the subsequent ones as you havent been stretched down there before, good luck to you and you do what makes your birth easier its you that has to do it no one else!! xx

Answer 10

ok obviously you have had the bajeebas scared out of you with this, and honestly you won't know until the time comes, i was all for drugs with my first and landed up not having any,
its ok to plan ahead.
everyone is different, my sister has a low pain threshold and she only had the gas, its not a pain you can explain, its totally different to anything else you can experience, and if it was that bad why would people do it a second and third,
I actually enjoyed it, you'll be fine and if you want drugs then do it don't let anyone else tel you, they arn't the ones in labour