Newlyweds and not much sex?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost 8 months now, though we just moved in together 2 months ago (he's in the military and I just relocated to be with him). We only have sex once a week now, and I feel like every night he is pressuring me for it. Honestly, the pressure makes me not want to have it even more. We have talked about it and I've told him how I feel and listened to what he's said. Sometimes he is rude to me, and makes nasty comments to me like, "I'm in a bad mood because I need to get laid!" even though we just had sex 2 nights before. What is going on? I love my husband more than anything, and I know he loves me but he acts to angry with me and it all seems to come down to sex. I don't want to just roll over and do it just to do it - that just makes me feel used and like all I'm good for is sex. What should we do?

Also, when we do have sex, it literally lasts only about a minute or 2, and I feel so rushed that it's not fun. It's mainly about him getting off. And I think that contributes to the fact that I don't want to have sex as much.

Answer 1

Tell him you need foreplay. When you do say you're going to have sex, don't let him penetrate you until you are good and ready. Tease him, play with him and he'll play with you. Ask him to 'go down' on you or to 69. You need to discuss with him what you want. Tell him your needs and what 'gets you off'. Let him know that you're not satisfied and this contributes to your low desire for sex. You need to be honest and never ever fake 'it'!

By the way, wanting sex more than once a week is pretty normal. I know your sex life sucks, but I don't think he just thinks you're only good for sex. If he just wanted sex, he didn't need to get married. And if he was a virgin or very inexperienced, this could be the reason for him being finished so fast. If you get him to ejaculate prior to intercourse through manual stimulation or oral sex, intercourse will last longer and he'll be happy because he got to 'come' more than once! Also, don't be afraid to ask for another round, just be prepared to wait a few minutes, men need a little down time before they can get back up, if you know what I'm saying.

By the way, kegels and some products on the market, special lubricants and condoms, are designed to help men with premature ejaculation.

Answer 2

Since everyone else seems to be answering based on common misconception or their own very fortunate experiences, I am going to answer this realistically. Most people seem to assume that newlyweds naturally do it like bunnies and those who are able to often do. However; there are many couples who take time to get into a rhythm. This is especially true if there is any pain or medical conditions. But, assuming that you are healthy and regularly do your kegels so that you can enjoy sex, you may be fortunate enough to naturally get to it, or you may just need to work on communicating and learning how to enjoy sex so that you want to do it more often. Or you if it's just lack of desire, you may want to try an arousal lubricant (such as On Oil) or consult a doctor.

Answer 3

If you love him, you will try more sex. He also needs to show some respect and slow down and make you come. Tell him after he makes you come you can have sex, and try to do it once a night, it is so good for your relationship and good fun too.

Why don't you go on top, then you can controll how long it lasts and how fast it goes.

I'd get snappy too if my partner only bothered to have sex with me once a week. Once a day is more my style, even more than once. It can be great, you just need to find out how to please yourself too. If you have no desire it is because you are not being pleased.

Answer 4

Ah, you just need to chill and let go! You two have to 'find' one another, and you will need to discover each other's wants and needs.
Girl, don't ever turn down the chance to have an "o" - that's cheating yourself!
Intimacy is critical to keeping a marriage healthy, and that's not always about intercourse. The two of you need to talk -- and not just in bed. Something's wrong with your communication!
- suggested reading "The Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura.

Answer 5

Making love is very important for married couple especially when the marriage is new.
what your husband askes for is not weird the normal thing for newlly married is 3 times a week.
he is acting fool because he wants you & you reject him for whatever your reason is.
try to show intrest in your husband's needs & add extra romance to your relation
after you both become doing it more he will last longer & longer evrey time & u'll enjoy

Answer 6

Tell him that Marriage isn't all about Sex, and that it would be nice if the two of you can come to some kind of agreement. I don't blame you. Nothing is so unromantic as "just doing it, for the sake of arguing with him."

Answer 7

#1, those comments are disrespectful
#2, sex is not everything in a relationship
#3, counseling
#4, was he like this BEFORE the wedding? i bet he was.

my husband's "peak" is higher than mine, but he respects me enough that he doesn't hump me like a Chihuahua...you need to sit down and talk to your husband. or else this marriage is going to end sooner than you want it to.

Answer 8

Males have their sexual peak in late teens and early twenties. Females in late thirties and early forties. It sounds like you may already need marriage counseling to learn to respect each others feelings.

Answer 9

wow
poor thing
it's usually the opposite

Answer 10

your husband is not doing something right for you if you dont want it more than that. My advice is to tell him how you really feel. If his needs are not taken care of at home he will eventually find someone to take care of them somewhere else.