how do you get out of a bad marriage, but you still love that person?

Question

i have been with my husband for 4 years now. we have two small children together. when i try to talk to him about the problems that i feel we are having he tells me what ever or walks away. when he gets amd sometimes he can be a abuser so i get scared when i try to talk to him because i don'y know how he is going to act . he can be the most loving person when he wants to be he tells me that all of the problems are because of me then he starts nameing off the things i do, but when i go to tell him the things he does he doesn't want to hear it. i really don't know what to do leave him or try to work thing out?

Answer 1

Lets see what you have said. This man is abusive at times. He refuses to take ANY of the blame for the state of the relationship. And refuses to talk about it. You are afraid of confronting him, because of his uncertain temper. Please, can you show me where the "love" is?
If he will go to counseling with you, you may get through this, but if he's saying its all your fault, I can't see him agreeing.

Answer 2

If you haven't gone through counselling yet I would try that first, the best way to get out of a bad marriage is to try and make it better, there was a reason you fell in love in the first place and you just may need to reconnect emotionally. You can also discuss with the therapist how to end the relationship amicably if the things are so bad they can't be resolved.

Answer 3

Love is not enough dear, ive been there i know, you can be in this marriage for another four years without any change if you dnt put your foot down and express how you feel, what you want and be assertive with it. He`ll always treat you like that and it will kill you emmotionally and that "Love" will turn to resentment towards him, and by the time you wake up you`ll realise you`ve lost another 4 years of nothing.

So if you feel your marriage is all that, talk about it with your partner and dnt mother him, be his partner.........he might change his ways when you give him time frame for him to change, or else he`ll loose his wonderful family.

Answer 4

If you love the man, try and get counseling to sort things out. It may change the way he is, but if not suggest moving on. A marriage if for two not one.

Answer 5

Marriage is supposed to be "for better or for worse." You need to try to get your husband to go into marriage counselling. If you cannot persuade him to go, maybe a friend or your pastor can convince him. If there's no way to get him to go, you should go to individual counselling by yourself. For the sake of your small children, as well as for yourself and your marriage, you need to try to make it work, somehow!

I'm praying for you that your marital situation will improve. God bless you, Sister!

Answer 6

if you still love your husband, and your husband loves you back, then i think there is still a chance for you to save your marriage...you just need to talk things out, make compromises and solve your differences together as a team...as long as love is there, then there is still hope...

however, if your marriage is abusive and you have tried everything in your power to change it to no avail, then the only solution would be to leave your husband and file for divorce...

i hope you can still save your marriage...especially if you have kids...good luck...

Answer 7

maybe add some more details... i dnt know what has gone wrong..... I suggest try marriage counseling if that doesn't work... get a divorce there is no point spending ur whole life with someone if ur marriage is bad no matter how much you love them

Answer 8

You cant have your cake and eat it too - you either stick with your marriage and go to marriage counselling otherwise you walk away from the one you love. Good luck

Answer 9

Write down all the pros and cons .

See if the good out weighs the bad

Answer 10

love dont always make it alright you need to divorce or at least try marriage counseling if he is willing if not u have already lost