My boyfriend and I have been going out 9 months. (I'm 20 and he's 25). He can be extremely romantic and sweet but about 5% of the time he can be really hurtful. He has hurt me a lot over the past 9 months, from calling me names and leaving me alone when he has been mad at me over silly things. He got mad because he saw my male manager tap my back or if he sees a guy smiling with me. He has thrown things, put a hole in my door and he has also pushed me if I tried to stop him from leaving. Last night I was crying and he was mad I was outside in my night outfit and told me to go in. I asked why would he care and he told me fine, get the **** out of here.
He tried calling me today but I ignored him.
Other times he will be so sweet, like bring me roses and write me letters and make sweet things or tell me he will love me forever. He's always affectionate with kisses/hugs.
I know he will say he's sorry and make more promises that he won't keep. I love him with all of my heart.
2007-10-28 19:56:14 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm scared of not having in my life, but I'm tired of being sad all the time when I'm not a sad person. All my family/friends say they never see my smile which is what everyone knew me by. Any advice?
Thanks so much, sorry so long.
2007-10-28 19:56:52 · update #1
You need to get out of the relationship now. It's only been 9 months, believe me you WILL get over him and life will go on.
I wish you the best.
2007-10-28 20:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out!! The next step is not going to be a hole in a wall but a buise on you arm or black eye. Do you get the flowers after he has done the bad things. Why would love some that truely does not love you. He is a control freak. My mother married a man like this. He was like you boyfriend in being and it just got worst from there. Soon she was not able to work because he would come to work and confront people about talking to her. Once he had her suck in house and without friends he started beating her. My mom stayed with this man for 21 years, this man was my father. I know first hand you need to get out know before it get worst.
2007-10-28 20:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by Fifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't continue to let him do this to you. As long as you take him back, and forgive him, he will treat you this way. Tell him that if he does not get help for his control and anger issues, that you are going to leave him. You deserve better than this. Do you realize that girls get killed accidently by bfs and husbands that have these problems!!!???
He is probably also trying to make you feel like he is the only one that will put up with you. Believe me, I have heard it all. It is not true!! I promise. Once I got away, and regained my self esteem, I realize that there were plenty of guys that wanted a woman like me, and would treat me like gold!! He had just said that to make me afraid of leaving him.
Controlling men can only be controlling if you allow them to do it to you. Stop it now. There are wonderful guys out there that will appreciate and respect you. You do not need this jerk!!! Leave him.
2007-10-28 20:07:34 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear honey, I've been in your situation... and now he's my husband... basically because I got pregnant and everything and now I'm stuck with two kids and financially dependent. believe me girl, it will get WORSE as your relationship goes on, and afer you are married. he just used to push me away and or grab my arms when we used to fight when he was still my bf, after I got married now he's slapped me and humiliated me infront of other people with out regard for my feelings. Of course he'll be awfully sorry after that, and act sincerely sweet and apologetic and all but believe me girl you won't see the end of it. it will be like being on the look out for the next storm, or the next hurricane, you'll never have peace of mind. I had myself registered immediately the instance I saw your post (because I wasn't a member 15 minutes ago) just so I could answer your question. Honey please believe me that VIOLENCE is never a normal part of any relationship. Please get out of this relationship before you end up like me. It will be better be to end this now and be deeply hurt, rather than being deeply hurt everyday without knowing when it will ever end. You take Care of yourself, All the best
2007-10-28 23:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by cap 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋