Someone is doing a mistake again & again because u deny telling the truth on their face? Is it not your fault?

Question

Many don’t like to hear the truth, so you don't tell the truth
For example:
If someone sings badly, you should tell them they sing badly, and they can select some other path
If someone dresses badly, you should tell them to change their style of dressing.
Some child comes to your home, and it is so naughty and also you are scared that it might hurt your kid. Still you keep quite.
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Answer 1

I don't know whether u know a poet called Emily Dickenson. But One of her poem is called 'Tell all the Truth but tell it slant'. Here is the poem

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---
Success in Cirrcuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightening to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind---

I don't know whether u r good @ interpreting poetry or not. I am not personally ! But this is what is means. it is better to tell the truth in a slanted way to make people feel better. She was telling about how to explain lightning to a kid. As a parent, u usually don't tell ur kids everything straight forward. Here she is saying the same thing. U don't tell the kid that lightning is electricity and stuff and u will not tell the kid the physics concepts behind it, because u know that the kid wouldn't understand it. But most parents tell their kids stuff like,'THe lightning is God is taking a photo of the bad people in the world to punish them and warn the kids not to go near the lightning, since they don't want to be in the photo.'

Do u see what telling the truth slanted means. I guess the kid example wasn't as great, but I was just trying to explain the poem. For example say that me and one of my friend went for shopping. And my friend found this amazing pink shirt and she tried it on and showed it to me and asked for my opinion. And I see that the shirt was too tight for the girl. Personally I wouldn't say, 'that shirt is too tight for u' or ' u look ugly in it' or 'u look fat in it'. And the reason is just what u said. U just don't want to hurt their feelings. And that is what Emily Dickenson is saying too. The truth is too bright and surprising for people to accept that quickly. But the best way to get the truth out is by slanting it a little bit. I am going back to the shopping example. instead of saying all those mean things, I could totally say,' I don't think that pink matches ur skin tone very well, but I remeber when u wore blue last week u looked really good and here try this blue one on, i think I would look prettier.' or u could say 'The shirt looks good but I don't think it is worth it for that big of a price. There are better deals than that, do u want to look for them?'

Did u see how those sentenses sounded. I didn't really emphasize the fact that the shirt looked tight on her at all, but I managed to tell her to change the shirt.

I agree with Dickensons poem a lot. Sometimes the full truth is hard for people to grasp and also it a hard reality to admit to other people. And it isn't ur fault that u rn't able to tell that person the truth. It is actually because u don't want to hurt their feelings. So u tend to avoid it or ignore it. But sometimes u just can't ignore stuffs, like when a friend asks u, how the shirt looks, u can't ignore the question. That is the time when slanting the truth a bit helps to get ur point across.

It is never anyones fault. i have been into situations where people think that they are amazing, but they actually aren't that great.So as a friend u don't want to tell them that and loose ur friendship. It happens to everyone. That is where I think about this poetry.

I hope u don't mind me adding literary elements to the answer. To me sometimes that help me realize things better. I hope it helps u !

Answer 2

It depends. You might see something as a mistake that others don't. Like the way a person dresses, that is a personal opinion. Like when my sister buys a new dress, and I don't like it, I still tell her that She looks fine in it. She has her own personal style, it isn't bad, I just don't personally like it. I'd rather not give her a complex about it. But if they kept making a mistake on something that was important, I do feel you should be obligated to tell them. The example of the child is a good one, but I don't know about children, so I will go with dogs. I work at a vet clinic, and many people think their pet is the most well behaved perfect thing ever. But when we work with the animal he viciously tries to bite us. We are obligated to tell the owners how their pet behaved, because it is a safety risk. Even though it is hard to break their bubble that their pet is perfect, we always recommend behavioral training so we don't knowingly send an aggressive dog out in the public.

Answer 3

No it is not my fault,

Ask any alcoholic and they will tell you the first step to the cure is to admit that you have a problem and until that point you can be told millions of times that you are an alcoholic and you will never change.

I answered a question on Yahoo Answers from a girl who wondered why her friends kept calling her a **** for the way she dressed. I told her how you dress is an indication of how you want to be treated. If you dress like a **** then you can certainly expect that you will be treated like one. Her friends were telling her that she needed to dress more conservatively and I told here the same, but she ignored all that advice since it wasn’t what she wanted to hear and presumable she still dresses like a ****.

I don’t carry a tune very well. I don’t notice it because I had a lot of dental work and my jaw was shifted when I was a child so I don’t have the same bone conduction that most people have. Therefore I don’t hear myself as well as others do. I believe them when they say I don’t sing very well and I don’t do it in public very often, except when the lawnmower can drown me out or I am alone in the car and the windows are rolled up. I admitted that I probably had a problem and that they were probably right so I don’t sing in front of people. I don’t inflict my singing on any audience showing that I have at least some common sense.

I am about a four million other Americans have been told to eat right, to stop eating fast food, to watch my cholesterol level, to watch my blood pressure and to take care of myself. I don’t always eat right, I do eat fast food, but I have my cholesterol level and blood pressure checked and the doctor is happy with them, although I still have to take medication to maintain them at a decent level. If I lost some more weight I may not have as much a problem, however that is a lot harder to do than it sounds. Many people have the excuse to not exercise because of the time, they don’t want to, and they don’t think they need to. I have a problem with chronic pain that is only increased when ever I engage in a lot of physical activity, no matter what it is. Exercise hurts me, and the pain cannot be denied it also effects my brain and dulls my intelligence. The last time I went for a long walk for pure exercise I ended up in the hospital with a near fatal overdose of a medication. I had made a simple mistake by turning taking one pill twice a day into taking two pills twice a day. I had enough refills for the medication so I assumed I was taking it properly, and it almost killed me.

I am very leery of over extending myself and it is why I can’t work, because the stress of the daily commute would be too much for me and I would start making stupid mistakes. It is not very good when you can’t trust your own brain. I have a good reason for not exercising, but, is it good enough? Should I exercise a little more, was the mistake an honest one or caused by the increased stress of the exercise? I don’t have the answer to these questions and I will never be able to really determine the answer. They change as my disease waxes and wanes. The only constant I have is that I will always be in great pain, I will always be greatly depressed, and I will always have trouble with my sleep. I chose to be conservative and careful and to not push my self too hard physically.

Still the doctor would like me to exercise, I would like to exercise, and I would not like to make a stupid and possibly fatal mistake. Since I am alone I have to take care of myself by myself. Just because you know you have a problem doesn’t always mean you can cure that problem. There is no treatment for my disease, except for treating the symptoms, and light exercise, which is a problem in my case. There is also no test to prove that I actually have Fibromyalgia, or that I am indeed sick (except for two decades of problems). I may have a different problem and exercise may not be good for me. There is no way of knowing the answer.

If someone is doing something wrong they have to admit that to themselves. Other people can point it out to them and try to help them, but until the person with the problem admits they have a problem no treatment is going to work.

Sometimes you might have a problem and the treatment for it may not be clear or even possible. I know after a long walk I have made major mistakes like confusing north and south, so I am very careful about how much I exert myself; I have to be. I assume the relativity minor risk of not exercising vs. the larger risk of making a stupid and fatal mistake.

Answer 4

As far as I'm concerned, I'm straight forward. I tell whenever someone sings, dress badly.

But I take xtreme care not to hurt them while i point out their mistakes... I always start with " It would be better if u do like this or this".

If we say the things harshly, then that will definetly hurt them. But there's a way in which we have to handle delicate things and obviously it will work...

Answer 5

Don't tell her you lied. Don't cover for your father. However, you really shouldn't have gotten involved in your parents' relationship, but what's done is done. And as for your Dad, well, yes, I suppose it's understandable that he'd be pissed off with you, but two things: he shouldn't be cheating on his wife and then expecting her to want to stay with him when she finds out (seriously, what's that about? bread buttered on both sides?); and second, he could have backed you up when your mother was dissing your boyfriend simply because she didn't like the way he looks. Put your parents and their crap out of your mind - it's THEIR crap, pet. Think about your boyfriend. Is he nice to you? Does he treat you well? Is he your friend? If the answers to these are yes, just remember that when it comes to men, you clearly are better at picking them than your mother. Your father might be pretty, but he can't keep his **** in his pants.

Answer 6

well the thing is there are certain truth that must be kept in as it might injure friendship, relatinship or even ones future. it might be embarassing, it might be cocerning your life. so such should be kept secret!!! we lie to hide that secret or that truth which can make a lot of damage!!!!!! it is a need to keep those a secret inside to preserve a persons dignity or maybe that soo called truth can even cause a suicide!!!! just my view. i am not being too serious but i cant help saying my experience.

Answer 7

hi gEnTLe m@n....

You can say that its our fault. But i think people should have so much of sense that he should be able to decide whats right and whats wrong, whats good and whats bad.

Being frank is a very good thing, but being over-frank is bad. You should have a talent of saying. You should say the person or you should make the person realize about his mistake by saying him politely but being frank.

I am frank and i tell people about their faults and mistakes on their face directly, without hesitating. I think something is better then nothing. Instead of laughing on them people should make them aware of their mistakes and help them get a solution for all those mistakes....tc...sweet dreamz...bye....

*****dO w@tEvEr uR hE@rT $@yZ....*****.

Answer 8

If telling the truth is going to hurt some body 's feelings, why not shut our mouth.Children are generally naughty, the more we boss them, they will even more bother us.So it is better to enjoy their naughtiness.It's not easy for all tobe that way.

Answer 9

the truth sometimes hurts but is better than a lie. if you asked me if i thought what you were wearing is nice and i thought it wasnt i would tell you but in a way not to hurt you, such as i could say well maybe its not approiate for the occasion, and if a child is bieng hurt you have a responsability to step in

Answer 10

what can we do yar, let others do whau they want. if it gives them happiness,let it be keep going as long as they himself realise that what is going on?