We have been together for four and a half years and been married this November 3 for one year. He just got layed off from his job last week and I live on disability. I plan to go to my Fathers in another town. Almost everything in this house is mine and he is very violent so I just don't know how to get my stuff? I get paid on the third and he expects me to pay the rent that is now late! I will need that money to move and live on for the month. I am so scared! He has broke my nose and blacked my eyes two years ago and done many other things to me. My kids now live with thier father because of all this. I just had a stroke 6 months ago and I suffer from schizoaffective disorder. He has been acting very nice today but it is so I will stay. I just don't know how to leave and I really don't want to leave my stuff. I am scared of him and the unknown of living with my father at the age of 36. I really need some advice on how to do this without getting hurt and I also need to be strong! HELP
2007-10-28 19:03:53 · 14 answers · asked by ladyaprille 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we only fear the unknown but one thing is for sure you are not happy there with him so the unknown of moving is sounding pretty good right now I bet, but your right you are going to need help getting away from him, so my opinion is get a hold of your father be brutaly honest with him, no matter what your relationship is with him no one beats up on a mans little girl a gets away with it, but dont get your dad involved unless you are truely commited to getting away from your husband, screw it dont pay the rent and say you did contact the land lord and tell them your gonna be late by a week or two by that time your gone and he is still there with no rent money, then you can make arrangements with the Sherrif's dept to go and get you belongings out of the apartment, dont be scared and just know your better than that sorry excuse of a man and you will find someone who cares, he keeps you down by making you feel powerless and worthless by preying on your weaknesses and its time for you to get away and stay away.....
2007-10-28 19:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my girlfriend was in this mess she set up a time with the police. They met us and we went to her house to get her stuff. They walked through the house when we packed and stayed until we had left. They said that they could not do anything unless he was violent. She was afraid. My husband came with us and he stayed by her side until we were done. She was still scared but it made her feel a little better. If he is going to hurt you and the only way out is to leave your stuff then I would consider it. I would not want to leave it either but your safety is more important. Can your dad and some friends come and help you? If he causes a scene call the cops. If he hurts you again call the cops. You cannot let him do this to you. If you call the cops they will arrest him for domestic violence. Good luck.
2007-10-29 03:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the money and run. Don't look back until you can come back with a police escort. If he drinks, you could dissolve a couple of Benadryl tablets in his beer. About 6 or 7 would do. It will not harm him but it will make him sleep for several hours. Have a friend ready to help you get the stuff out of the house. Or you could have the police come to your house since I know you have filed charges against him for battery and keep him away from you while you remove your things from the house. A court order would help. But your safety is first, leave.
2007-10-29 02:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police station and tell them what you have told them, ask them if they will assist you while getting your things out of the house. Get a restraining order against him. Whatever you do, move fast, don't pay the rent that is due now. If you pay it, then you will be abused for another month. Have some of your people to come help you. Most abusive men, won't abuse you in front of other people. Especially, while men are around. The main thing is getting a restraining order and the police to watch you get your things out. I say to get your people to come, so while you are driving your things away, he won't follow you to try to hurt you.
2007-10-29 04:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your safety is most important. Gather the photo albums and a few clothes and get out now. Travel light and quick. I know you don't want to leave your stuff but all of that can be replaced. Pictures of your kids can't. Just like you have a place now you can get one once you're where your father lives.Then go to legal aid and file for divorce. If he lives close get the police to escort you to get your things. No one is worth enduring physical or mental abuse. Your kids need to know they won't have to put up with that either. You teach more by example than by telling. I know you're scared but once you're out of that hell you'll have a great burden lifted. Good luck to you but get out now.
2007-10-29 02:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by mojo52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call someone, maybe friends and relatives who can come and help move you out in a hurry. Perhaps they could bring a big U-Haul to load your things up. Before they arrive call the police and tell them you need the police to help by being there so you can get your things and leave as your husband has physcially abused you before, and you would like to move while a police officer is there so he will not hurt you.
2007-10-29 02:10:58 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the police to assist you in getting your things out of the house so he can't touch you. And leave no forwarding address for him to find you. Staying with your father isn't a good idea. Go someplace where he won't find you, and the kids should be staying with you if he's so abusive.
2007-10-29 07:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by ChemoAngel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was a police report filed when he broke your nose and blacked your eyes? If so, call the police and have them there when you move your things out or you can have him thrown out perhaps and a restraining order to keep him away from you. You may be able to get help from a domestic violence shelter near you if you talk to them. I will give you a link here and you can call and talk to someone who may be able to help you. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-29 02:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He broke your nose 2 years ago and you married him 1 year ago? Why? What has changed in his attitude since then? Why haven't the police been notified before now? Guess where you should start, then.
2007-10-29 02:10:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
File papers on him for assault and have his *** put in jail if he hits you, and while he's sitting in the jail get your stuff and GO!!! My Moms ex-husband abused her and us for years and he finally one night nearly killed her!!! He's in prison now. You can live with your father until you get enough money to get your own place. They have apartments for low-income individuals. Also go set up an appointment with a counselor so you'll have someone to talk to about your problems.
2007-10-29 02:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by ximxca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋