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My grandmother That helped my mother raise me is slowly withering away. she is now in the grasp of dementia, and I feel 100% worthless because I cant do anything too ease her pain.

2007-10-28 18:55:11 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Polls & Surveys

22 answers

oh, i'm so sorry! yes, i've been through it twice. my second time happened this month! my grandmother also had dementia. then they diagnosed her with psychosis. she went downhill so fast. honestly, it shocked my whole family. i was there from the beginning to the end. i completely understand that feeling. it ripes you apart. my thoughts are with you and your family. i'm sorry that you have to go through this.

2007-10-28 19:59:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

I was never actually married to the guy or had any kids but my ex fiance used to put guns in my face and call me a lazy b*tch and a lot of the other things you said. Do you have any family to fall back on? My mother wired me money and bought me a plane ticket and I was supposed to leave while he was at work. Problem was he didn't go to work that day. So my mom called the cops (from out of state) and they stayed at my house until I was done packing and out of the house so he couldn't hurt me. Than I left and never looked back. If you do not have family to fall back on look to a friend to help you find a safe house and talk to the police. It's never okay to put up with an abusive realtionship good for you for getting you and your kids out. I know it's tough and there are never any easy answers for how to go about it.

2016-04-11 00:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Firebird, I lost my mother just over 3 months ago and the situation was similar. At the end I was with her everyday, and I held her hand and talked to her even when she could not talk.

I know it is frustrating for you, but I believe that you are helping her by being there when you can and simply talking to her and showing her your love. It will help her in the midst of confusion and pain.

When the nurses had to administer more and more pain medicine to my mother the last few days of her life, every day when I left to go home I told her I loved her, and that if she "needed to go" before I got back, it would be okay.

A lovely lady that my mother thought the world of came to visit her the afternoon of Tuesday, July 16, and the day after that, I realized that my mother was waiting for this friend to come tell her "goodbye". She died on July 17, and everyday since then I realized how lucky I was to have her to call "Mama". A part of her is with me everywhere I go, everyday I wake up.

Your help is NOT worthless. Your visits likely mean more to your grandmother than you will know in this lifetime.

2007-10-28 19:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

Yes, I have. I watched my strong, handsome husband wither away to nothing over a three month period at the hands of cancer. He was only 43. You do feel helpless..worthless...as though there is nothing you can do. And the fact is, you can't do anything but care for them and love them until they take their last breath. I am so very sorry for your pain. Take care of yourself and love your Grandmother every moment every day....that's all you can do, my friend.

2007-10-29 09:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by Dana D 3 · 1 0

I've been there -- my mother withered away from Alzheimer's back in 2000. What an utterly ghastly way to go.

You can't take away your grandmother's pain, and you need to try to accept that. However, you need to also realize that you really are doing a wonderful thing just by being there. Even when she doesn't know who you are and you find that devastating to deal with [and I know you do], just continuing to be there is a truly benevolent act on your part.

And to do something tangible that she'll enjoy, brush her hair or gently massage her feet. It may sound goofy, but it can be incredibly soothing to her. Trust me on this -- touch will remain important to her until her dying day.

At the risk of sounding trite, I will pray for you.

2007-10-28 19:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by The Snappy Miss Pippi Von Trapp 7 · 2 0

Yes, its happening to my stepmom now. But, I also had my mother taken from me when I was 7 by the cowardly & savage act of a madman. Neither one is better than the other.

We must learn that death is part of the lifecycle. There is not a single thing we can do to stop it. Delay it - maybe - but, stop it, no.

It is no one's fault. No need to feel worthless. We all will die. I just try to live my life as fully as I can one day at a time, because who knows what tomorrow might hold.

2007-10-28 19:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

My dear friend who is much more than a real brother, he is in the last stage of Cancer, he has got less time on here, probably less than 2 months :( i cant do nething but let him go out of my sight in a few. Im so Helpless. Its pretty harsh on him, its not fair...he is only 25 :( No matter how hard i pray i know i wouldnt be able to bring him back from the jaws of death. Life sux.
P.S. : Sorry to hear about ur Grandma.

2007-10-28 19:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by ¶-ÑØ FÈÅR ÑØ §URRÈÑÐÈR-¶™ 4 · 3 0

I just watched my Dad (91) pass away. We gave him last rights about 3 times. He kept bouncing back and then getting sick over and over.

My Mom also has dementia and does not know who we are or the Dad is dead. No way to explain.

So I feel your pain. You just have to except that this is the cycle of life and we all go out the same way.

Easier said then done.

2007-10-28 19:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 3 0

Yes, I moved to San Diego to help my partners mother die. It was a tiring, sad, happy, glorious, profound time for she and for me. Now my current B/F's mother is dying and has Hospice helping us. Hospice is made up of the very finest people. By the way, Hospice is absolutely free no matter your income or lack of it.

God Bless You.

2007-10-29 08:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by jjoy4444 6 · 1 0

I feel your pain, my man! My great grand father died a few years back and although i knew he no longer recognized me, I knew him. I was there for him until the day he died, but there was nothing I could do to ease his pain. Just try to be strong, stay by her side and you can rest assured, you are already doing all that you can!

2007-10-28 19:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Spark of Insanity 7 · 1 0

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