Do I have to call my teacher miss.?

Question

I'm in the eight grade and I'm thirteen years old. I hate my algebra 1 teacher ALOT!!!! Shes evil err don't get me started point is I hate her and when I call some one sir or miss I do it out of respect for the person and respect is the farthest thing I have for her. Do I have to address her as Ms.Byerly or can I just call her by her first name. Are school is really strict and we have to wear uniforms but if I tell the principal I don't want to can he legally make me considering I don't really have any constitutional rights just child protective laws. But then again it is a public school and citizens are paying for it with taxes so we shouldn't be forced to call some one that when she doesn't call me Miss *don't give out last name on internet* she just calls me Lora why can't I just call her Christian?

Well I have plenty reason to not have respect for her. A Hispanic boy would call me a cracker and other names making fun of me being white. And one day in class this teacher wouldn't allow me to take a quiz even though I was absent and I told her that wasn't fair and this same guys said (and I quote) "shut up Lora, your so annoying" and the teacher laughed and said "you should take your classmates advice they obviously don't like you" and I went back to my seat and cried. My fathers having a meeting with her Wednesday because this is the only problem but say that I have to respect some one because of how old they are is so idiotic. I respect a person for who they are not how long they've been alive. Does that mean I have to respect Hitler? Hes older then me. And you said be 'perfect' will A.) I've already tried being really nice to her and it didn't help and B.) I shouldn't have to whore myself out to some one who is being paid to teach me and I didn't say I pay taxes, my father does

Why can't you people answer a simple question? Do I legal have to call my teacher Miss if I'm in a public school and it interferes with my moral beliefs that the title is given to those whom I respect. Instead of annoying the heck out of me can you shut up about me being to young and answer the question because you don't know me at all. I live with my dad and brother. My dad is a truck driver and is home 1 or 2 days a week I cook and clean for my brother and I don't even have a room I sleep in the living room. I have no other family. And my best friend tried to kill her self 3 times. A week ago my other friend tried to hang herself. I'm bi-sexual and my brother hates me because of it. I don't have a mom and I take care of my self and do my home work and I'm in all honors classes with all A and one F in this stupid algebra class so don't tell me to grow and and that I have no real problems I have more stuff to deal with then some adults!

Answer 1

Hi Lora.

May I say, at the outset, that I would ask you please to edit your question to remove the name of your teacher. It is very inappropriate of you to tell the world your teacher's name and to reveal that she is unmarried. That is nobody's business, and I sure wouldn't blame her for being honking mad at you if she found out.

I'm a schoolteacher in a junior high in Taiwan (uniforms and rules and respect and the whole ball of wax) and I wish I had a nickel for every kid who considers me "evil" and a dime for every kid who "hates" me. I'd be rich. The fact is, I am neither evil nor deserving of anyone's hatred, and teaching is not a popularity contest. If it were, I bet even your Algebra teacher would beat me!

So. Maybe I can help you with your question now.

There are three reasons why your teacher's insisting on being called "Miss" is not unreasonable.

1. You should call her "Miss" because it is her wish to be addressed in that manner. She is entitled to the same respect, by virtue of being human, that I would give to you if you were in my class. Mind you, you'd "hate" me too, because of my rules about tucked-in uniform shirts (boys) and no hitched-up uniform skirts (girls), and no gum or talking and no MP3's, and homework getting done, and all that.

2. You should call her "Miss" because she is a teacher and thus entitled to your respect. I say this for the sake of the learning environment, not for the sake of anyone's ego.

3. You should call her Miss because, for all you know, there might be a teachers' rule that they have to make kids call them "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Miss" or maybe not even "Ms". If you have to wear school uniforms, that could very well be the case.

I would call you "Lora" if you were my student, but if you really insisted upon it, I would call you "Ms. S." It is a matter of showing respect for you, and acknowledging the sense of very limited control over their own lives that a lot of people your age feel.

You say that "respect is the farthest thing I have for her." I'm an English teacher, and you should say "furthest". Only say "farthest" if you're talking about actual distance.

I'm sorry to tell you that your teacher and your principal can "make" you do just about anything, provided your parents concur with the philosphy and the instruction is not illegal, dangerous, immoral, or harmful.

I won't touch your comment about child protection laws, because I used to be a child welfare social worker. I've seen and heard and stopped things a lot worse than a 13 yr old girl being forced to call an Algebra teacher "Miss". Like parents refusing to let their kids go to school, not feeding them, and hurting them in ways that would shame hell.

You seem to think that because taxes fund public schools, that you should have some say in things. Well, I pay taxes in Canada, and I don't have ANY say in a lot of things that REALLY bug me. Like not being allowed to say "Merry Christmas" for fear of offending non-Christian families. Like closing schools on Fridays to reduce skipping out. Like paying kids money if the vandalism cost is under budget. Don't get ME started either.

I apologize to you Lora. I promised myself that I would not answer your question like a scolding parent or a lecturing teacher, but I did so anyway.

To make it up to you, I will tell you a teacher's secret about how to get sweet revenge on Miss Don't-give-out last-name-on-the-Internet (even though you already have). It's simple.

She wants to get power over you, by insisting on a respectful title while you just get your first name as if you're a little kid or something. Right?

Get even! Make her pay! Prove that she is wrong! Study so hard that she has to give you an A! Never again could she treat you like an immature little kid! That'll teach her!

As an afterthought, Lora, please don't talk about "whore yourself out". It's undermines your own dignity and credibility to talk like that.

Would you please ask your father, or your teacher, to email me? I think the issues raised by your question are a lot more serious than having to call someone "Miss".

Answer 2

OK. Simple answer. It is neither a legal or ethical question. It doesnt belong in this category. HOWEVER, if the teach requires you to call her "Miss," you call her Miss. You are in HER house. Not the other way around. That's why you cant call her Christian. You need to learn your place for now.

EDIT FOR MR. OCTOBER

Yes, you are correct. She SHOULD learn how to address people properly. I'm 55 years old and I would say fairly accomplished. But I have no problem calling the guy behind the meat counter Sir. Respect is something that transcends class, money or attitudes. You treat people with it, and you get it back. One of the major things wrong with this world today is that people just dont seem to understand that anymore.

I guess that makes me a Nazi, huh?

Answer 3

It's a respect issue, of which you obviously have none for your teacher.

It's years of tradition as well as the fact that she is quite a bit older than you and should be treated with respect. You using her first name can be considered insubordination and you could get in trouble with your school. Also, you're not paying taxes, your parents are.

I used to be a teacher. I always tell kids the best thing to do when you don't like a teacher is be perfect. If you do your work, don't talk to your friends, and get to class on time they will have nothing negative to say to you and you won't have to repeat the class.

Edit: I answered your question, you would get in trouble with your principal for disrespect. Plus, that's not the way to win your argument or demonstrate anything. The only right you have right now is to go to school and graduate.

Answer 4

Sorry, but the reference to Hitler is ludicrous. If you can't be bothered showing respect in your dealings with elders (not that you alway respect them, but you should show it) you will have a long, hard, and miserable life. Start calling teachers by their first names without permission, and you will get a disciplinary warning. Keep it up, and you will be suspended, justifiably so. You are there to learn, and you aren't going to learn much by keeping up personal barriers between yourself and a teacher, especially if there are not a lot of other complaints on file.

Edit Oct 29
At 60, I have a lot of experience in this world. I submit you have more to deal with than you should, because you are creating some of it yourself. Some you have no control over, but we all have crosses to bear. You are at the age we have all experienced, and you think you know so much, just like we did, but you will discover soon you don't. It will be a lot easier, and life will be more pleasant, if you take a little advice and chill a little.

Answer 5

Wow, that kinda reminds me when I was in the military. I'm assuming that you go to a private school or a no tolerance school, in that case you don't have to call her miss but you'll still have to do as she says. If you're in a military school then yes because more then likely you'll have a NCO or an officer as a teacher because that is military customs and courtesies. The best thing is to get a copy of their bylaws, and customs and courties.

Answer 6

Your parents should make you call all adults Mr. and Miss. Those words along with yes sir/ma'am or no sir/ma'am will carry you a long way in the future. You should just do what you have to do and stay out of trouble until your grown. Then you can call people what you want.

Answer 7

when i was your age i thought i actually thought i had a chance at beating them too. just realize that you will never win because you're not an adult and they don't care what you think. the best policy is to just tough it out until college where people don't care what you do.

i understand that your position is completely logical and i don't think its immature, but just know that they always get their way and you end up paying the consequences, not them.

however even if she is a ***** remember that she did go to college and gets payed next to nothing to teach the worst subject in the world to middle schoolers. id say she at least deserves a respectful title

Answer 8

You are not necessarily showing respect to HER you are showing respect to the position of TEACHER. So call her Miss and in your mind you think of all the good teachers out there who have helped many children learn and grow.

Dealing with someone you don't like in a civil and effective manner is a valuable life lesson for you to learn.

Answer 9

It's respect for the position, not the specific person.
This is really such a tiny little issue, I hope you are able to quickly get prepared in the next couple of years to face REAL problems that adults have to deal with.

Answer 10

"In fact he is the only one that can pronounce it properly as we come from the same country originally." Maybe he is hoping that with using your surname correctly others may learn how to pronouce it right. The current etiquette is that women who are married use Mrs., and unmarried women, including children, use Ms. Miss can be used by anyone, married or unmarried.