have you had a threesome?

Question

My hubby and I really want to have a threesome! We have a great marriage & are very happy. I am a very sexual person and this is something I have always wanted. I am not very jealous at all. I know I would be fine with all that stuff that most women would get hung up on, i'm so not like most women. I am in fact the one that brought it up. I have been in a threesome before but wasn’t in a relationship and I loved it but we didnt have sex. Yes it would be FMF. So my question is have you done it? What did you think? And the big one! How did you find someone!! That’s been the hard part for me.

JUST FYI, I asked about Polygamy b/c I was watching Oprah on my TiVo... I would never ever cheat & my hubby is not the cheating type and wouldnt want a 3some if I was not wanting it... I like the idea of it to please my hubby, I'm the kind of girl that likes to serve him & I'm very open minded.

Answer 1

My wife and I have been swinging for about four years now, and yes... even a threesome is between a married or otherwise committed couple is technically swinging. For us seeing and knowing each other is having a great time is a huge turn-on. She loves to see other women react to me and I love to see other men go ga-ga over her. It's a pride thing, I guess. It's kind of like "see, I told you he/she is awesome!"

But, not everybody is hardwired that way. Many people have no interest in sharing their spouse much less seeing it or hearing about it. And that's okay. I only get frustrated when these people make judgments about others that do simply because it's not they way they'd do things so the feel nobody else should either. These people don't realize that there are as many ways to do life and relationships as there are people on this planet, and no two marriages look exactly the same. And there seems to be quite a few of these people here on Yahoo! Answers :-(

There are two basic ways people perceive sex: 1) as an expression of love, and 2) as a fun activity that can be done with someone you love as well as someone you don't, but you like. The judgmental ones fall in the first category and they can't imagine anyone being in the second category.

So if you are both secure in yourself (meaning you don't suffer from personal insecurities and thus jealousy), secure in each other and in your value to each other you'll have a blast at threesomes and/or moresomes.

My wife and I have been together 10 years, married 7 of them and swinging for four. We didn't start swinging because we were bored with each other. We started swinging because we had a very good and abundant sex life together and we were secure enough in our relationship that we could discuss our fantasies without the fear of hurting the other's feelings because they would get jealous and think that they "weren't enough." And it turned-out we both had some very similar fantasies that required more than two people in the room to do.

Many non-swingers like to think that swinging is "replacement" sex, when in reality every real swinger will tell you it's simply "additional" sex.

Now how to find another woman to join you? It's hard. Even in the swinger lifestyle where you'd think there would be bisexual single women they are few and far between. In fact swingers call them "unicorns" because they are about as common as a unicorn. Single men looking for MFM threesomes on the other hand are a dime-a-dozen.

Although there are some single woman profiles on swingers sites like Swing Lifestyle, Swappernet, Swingular and Lifestyle Lounge, not all are active profiles and some are pervert men posing as a single woman to gain the trust of couples and get at any private pictures they may have, and some are placed by website owners to attract more single guys and couples to join the site (a Adult Friend Finder classic). So you can start there, but don't be discouraged if you don't find a whole lot.

There are plenty of single women out there looking for couples to play with, but hey are not advertising it like the men do. They seem to have more of the attitude of "if I find the right couple and it happens, great. If it doesn't, than so be it." I think this is why just about every single woman we've ever had a threesome with we met in non-swinger activities like at regular night clubs, BBQ's at friend's (non-swinger) homes, etc. And the threesome hasn't always happened that night. Sometimes we become friends and several weeks later we get together for a "date".

So just look wherever you go. Half the fun is in looking as a couple. It's just like dating when you were single, except now your best wingman is your spouse. And if you are sending out that vibe as a secure and sexual couple, the women will find you.

Here are some links to good reading to get started:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=25

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=27

Answer 2

The problem with the threesome is that while fun to fantasize and even talk about, once you open that bottle, you cant get the djinni back into the bottle.

You say you arent jealous but is it because you havent had anything to be jealous of yet from your husband?

Ive known of two threesome experiences and both times caused serious, if not fatal, problems for the relationships. It is one thing to have fun with a boyfriend or lover. Its another completely to know your significant other was involved and shared with someone else.

I dont suggest it. Like I said, once you go that way you cant go back and say it didnt happen.

Answer 3

Yes, once. Not with my husband but a long term relationship. And the 3rd person was a friend that was open minded and we concentrated on the male in the threesome, not each other. It was a birthday gift, so to speak!
We joke about it now, and have stayed friends but agreed it is not something we would do again. As for the guy, he is still around but not a serious relationship person.

Answer 4

I was in a MMF one once, it was actually pretty fun, the couple was married and he got off on watching his wife get it from another man. I always wanted the FFM, but haven't got it yet, I wanted it with the woman I was married to for 18 years but she didn't which was fine, we are divorced now and I couldn't imagine watching my new g/f with another male of female, we have a very tight bond though. If you are intrigued and open to it try adultfriendfinder.com I have heard from friends they found exactly what they were looking for!

Answer 5

If you don't have a friend that you would be comfortable with, you could try an adult site for meeting people for sex only. There are lots of women all over the country that are looking for a clean couple to play with. You could try adultfriendfinder, lavalife, hotmatch.com, passion.com and many others. Adultfriendfinder is probably the largest.

And you are right, it is usually the wife in a FMF that gets uncomfortable and jealous. Set the rules of engagement before you get undressed and you should have a wonderful experience.

Answer 6

OK, so there are LOTS of better ways to satisfy your man, with out adding another woman into the equation... You clearly are not thinking straight.

With all due respect, your marriage is sacred.... Even if this is the year 2007, your marriage still deserves to be sacred...

Answer 7

My husband and I were very open minded and had quite a few threesomes until we learned about consequence the hard way. The condom broke- one of my friends got pregnant and she decided to abort the baby. We were traumatized for life, being parents ourselves, and now know that a little bit of fun is not worth all the heartache.

Careful- because we are that statistic.

Answer 8

As long as both of you are honest with each other and remember this is to add to your marriage, not to replace it. Three or more can be great!

Check out sites like adultfiendfinder.com or if you are into kink alt.com. These sites are made for exactly what you seek. Just the act of searching can be fun!

Answer 9

threesomes can end a marriage! Be careful

Answer 10

I dont think I could handle watching my husband have sex with another girl. Or hear her moan in pleasure becuze of him. I think I would end up punching the b*tch. But it you can handle that kind of stuff .... more power to you!