I have a stepdad who is very abusive to our family, he is controlling and nasty, and is impossible to live with. He is even nasty to his full blood children. My mum cannot cope either with how abusive he is, infact our whole family have some sort of depression and are desperate to get away from him. The thing is my mum thinks there is a slim chance of making things work and is also scared to live on her own. She has been seeing a phycologist too, but not long ago the phsycologist said she has to leave cause she is getting too depressed living with a husband she doesnt love, and if she gets too depressed they may have to send all us kids to foster homes cause she cant look after us.
Mum is finding it hard to be able to leave, also my stepdad isnt coping well either with it all. Im worried about him too cause he said he would commit suicide if she left cause shes the only person he has in his life. Im worried about what will happen to every1 and i dont know what to do. Can anyone help?
2007-10-28 16:47:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For one you said he is controlling and part of him doing that is to keep you all there by saying he will kill himself. Now he is an adult and if he really is a danger to himself then your Mom needs to let someone know what he said he is going to do on the day she plans on moving out that way a friend or family member from his family can come stay with him..But, there is a good chance you wont have to worry about him getting along on his own...
Your Mom need to see she is a strong enough person to do this on her own. I know I am not much help but, really all you can do is keep telling your Mom you all will be fine if she leaves him.....Good luck
2007-10-28 17:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stepdad will say that. these people are crap and dont deserve to have a family. your mom has to LEAVE him. if he does commit suicide, its his funeral, not any of your responsibility. he is adult and has to be responsible for his actions. i only worry if he decide to take the rest of you out with him, that's all. hence when your mom does leave, make sure you all disappear from his life permanently. that's the hard part, you uprooting but the baddie gets away with it. or you could leave home but still live in the same town and hope nothing bad happens.
2007-10-28 23:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by lsl4x 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good that your mom's therapist has suggested that she get out of this situation. I hope that they continue to work together to develop a plan for your mother to make her exit.
In the meantime, it sounds as if the rest of you could use some counseling. Try reaching out to someone at school or your minister/priest. There are also hotlines for family abuse where you'd at least find a sympathetic ear.
Good luck!
2007-10-28 23:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by Biff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to commit suicide if you leave. He's likely just saying that because he knows your mom won't leave then. He's manipulative as well as abusive. You need to get mom to leave, and take all the kids with her.
I wish I knew how to accomplish that.
2007-10-28 23:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call professionals, psychiatrist,in white pages are phone numbers with free help, people who knows how to help.
They will give you advice. Mum can be unable too free herself without professional help. People in abusive relationship develop some syndrome and it enslave them to abuser.
Do not worry about abuser now, worry about kids and mum.
He needs help too but that is for to worry later.
2007-10-29 00:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by Nick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need help, you need to make a plan to get out of there and you need to start looking for help. You need help for you & for your Mom to see that she can get out. it takes work & its hard but start looking for all the places around you that help people in this kind of abuse. start now!
2007-10-28 23:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by sullie812 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋