I am almost 100 percent sure my husband had an affair if not a few that I just suspected a yr. ago. He will not admit it at all. He will not give me answers to the obvious. Why? Do you think he will continue this behavior is he doesn't admit??? I am cute, nice, do everything for him, I don't get it.
2007-10-28 16:46:05 · 6 answers · asked by soccor_mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being cute, nice has nothing to do with it. What you said "do everything for him" was the $1000 answer there.
Guys dont want someone to do everything for them. Guys, whether they are single or married, like the hunt. The thrill of accomplishment. Guys dont want you rolling over and giving in because when you say you "do everything for him", you are doing just that. You arent a challenge, plain and simple.
Im not saying you have to be a hard ***. But do you do have to always be a challenge whether you are married or not. Just because you have given yourself to this guy and made a committment to always love him doesnt mean you have to turn into puddy all of a sudden.
Guys want adventure. Guys want spark. Guys want to feel like the have to work for something. Thats it in a nutshell.
Did he have an affair? Possibly. Will he have again? If he has already, then probably.
You have to understand that having an affair on a spouse is a character thing. Men or women who have affairs have very low character. Thus, it will not take overwhelming and unique experiences to make them cheat. They either have it in them or they dont. How do you know? Its very hard to know but past history says volumes. If someone has cheated on someone they have dated prior, no matter how justified they try to make it, odds are it will happen again. If someone goes out and has crazy sexual encounters during "off" periods in a relationship, odds are they will do it again. Keep in mind, it isnt that you are better or worse than the person they did it on previously. The problem is with them not you or the prior person.
But say you are committed to remaining with this low character person or for some reason, he hasnt actually cheated yet, then heres the game plan sister.... Start being a challenge! Make him work for what he casually gets from you now. Spice up the bedroom romance. What can he possibly get from another woman that he cant get from you? Just a challenge. Become that challenge and he wont ever stray from your side. Stay boring, nice, and do everything for him and realize that yes, he is probably having an affair with your best friend.
Because she isnt doing everything for him and because shes not nice, shes hot. And shes hot because she wants to be hot rather than cute.
See what Im getting at?
Good Luck!
2007-10-28 17:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by catfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm at a lose for words here - think you better book an appointment with a counsellor. Why did you not confront him when these affairs were going on? If he isn't in an affair right now why not give him another chance with saying anything. I presume you want to stay married.
2007-10-28 23:53:10 · answer #2 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are just dogs. They'll sleep with as many people as they get a chance to, no matter how good they have it at home.
If he thinks you might be onto him he might stop for a while, but if he's like that he'll probably stray again as soon as he thinks he can get away with it.
2007-10-28 23:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refer to the Jude Law Sienna Miller incident. Doesn't matter how great you are, the grass is always greener to some people...
2007-10-29 01:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by santokieann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he can and the opportunities were there for the taking.
if he dont tell its cos he knows you really dont have any facts so he can continue to bluff his way out and have fun outside
you probably need to hire a PI cos you're not going to be able to find out more on your own.
2007-10-28 23:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by lsl4x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute, nice, do everything....does not matter for some people. Some people just can't help but screw up their lives.
And yes...he will do it again and again,and again. To you or whoever else he is with.
2007-10-29 00:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋